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I remember I used to be the type of person who took a lot of crap from people. People would disrespect me, I would not react, and they continued to do it. This happened throughout childhood and it continued into adolescence and into my early 20s. I am close to being 30 now and because of this, my patience with people is getting shorter by the day.
It's like if I am at the store and something goes wrong, I start going off on people. I haven't gotten to the point I yell, but I feel I'm getting close. It's like with time I just feel as if people are stupid and it needs to be pointed out. I then realize later that I may have gone too far, but that's not often. Often times I feel like I was probably too easy on them and didn't do enough. But as time goes by, my reaction time to people doing something that bothers me gets shorter and shorter.
The thing is, I notice that people in later ages tend to be like this, too. I feel like it's an old man thing. Old men just don't seem to give a crap and if something is pissing them off, they let it be known and don't care to spare feelings.
Is this a result of getting old? When I was younger I would just let it go but it would eat me up inside. Now I just let it OUT and I feel better. Like the other day I was at a restaurant and they cleared me plate before I finished it and I went off on the manager. In this situation I felt like I went too far but yet I know I would feel worse if I let it go. Other times I'll just be quick with a smart comment to someone I feel is acting stupid. I definitely feel this is more of an old man trait; you don't see too many younger people engaging in this kind of activity. Do you any of you find your patience decrease over time?
I know some people who seem to have the patience of a sloth and I can't see how. It's like something that would make me berserk makes them react by simply saying a simple sentence of "I can't believe this." I used to do that and I would just be even more mad later. I feel it's good to just let it out so long as you don't hurt anyone.
I remember I used to be the type of person who took a lot of crap from people. People would disrespect me, I would not react, and they continued to do it. This happened throughout childhood and it continued into adolescence and into my early 20s. I am close to being 30 now and because of this, my patience with people is getting shorter by the day.
It's like if I am at the store and something goes wrong, I start going off on people. I haven't gotten to the point I yell, but I feel I'm getting close. It's like with time I just feel as if people are stupid and it needs to be pointed out. I then realize later that I may have gone too far, but that's not often. Often times I feel like I was probably too easy on them and didn't do enough. But as time goes by, my reaction time to people doing something that bothers me gets shorter and shorter.
The thing is, I notice that people in later ages tend to be like this, too. I feel like it's an old man thing. Old men just don't seem to give a crap and if something is pissing them off, they let it be known and don't care to spare feelings.
Is this a result of getting old? When I was younger I would just let it go but it would eat me up inside. Now I just let it OUT and I feel better. Like the other day I was at a restaurant and they cleared me plate before I finished it and I went off on the manager. In this situation I felt like I went too far but yet I know I would feel worse if I let it go. Other times I'll just be quick with a smart comment to someone I feel is acting stupid. I definitely feel this is more of an old man trait; you don't see too many younger people engaging in this kind of activity. Do you any of you find your patience decrease over time?
I know some people who seem to have the patience of a sloth and I can't see how. It's like something that would make me berserk makes them react by simply saying a simple sentence of "I can't believe this." I used to do that and I would just be even more mad later. I feel it's good to just let it out so long as you don't hurt anyone.
this has been my experience as well, and I am only 25. I noticed it especially when im driving. 5 years ago, when someone cut me off or didn't use their turn signal, I would just let it go. nowadays, I am always laying on the horn and using a lot of sign language. straight up borderline road rage.
it's not just you. people are stupid. it's all part of the "not giving a damn what others think as you get older" phase.
You learn with age who, when and where to let it out.
It can put you in physical danger to tell it like it is all the time. I know now that I am in my mid 40s I don't have any patients for non sense. On the other hand, I don't go around telling people off every time I see someone do something stupid. There are people who matter and those who don't. The ones who do are the ones who have my time, energy and money. If they don't impact my quality of life directly, chances are they won't get the tell it like is treatment. An example would be road raging. There are millions of stupid people out on the road everyday cutting others off and just being living pieces of crap. Why get mad when you cant change them and swear and point fingers at them that they may not see. That is a waste of energy. Spend that bit of energy on drafting a new business plan or doing something that can positively impact someone. Otoh, if I have a new coworker who does or says something that I know will not work, I would let them know because that impacts my time energy or money.
People who want to become part of my life learn very quick that I don't play. (if you get what I mean). That could be a coworker/employer, date or a new friend and I demand the same in return. Don't have me doing something wrong and not tell me about it. I don't have time for the nonsense. Also when your life is established in a foundation, purpose or principals, its easier to identify when to open your mouth and when not to.
In my everyday dealing with people, I've found most people who can dish it can take it. You will also find your friendship circle will shrink after 40 because of the value placed on time, energy and money. Your values will change as you get older as well.
As I've aged I've gotten much better at spotting those I'm not going to care for down the line, and distancing them quickly. It's not a matter of patience, it's a matter of knowing who you are dealing with more in advance and cutting them out of your life before they become a major annoyance.
I don't think it's a matter of patience. Age gives people increased authority, whereas younger people don't feel they have it.
Interesting perspective. I don't think I have a ton of authority. I don't really know how to qualify that. I just feel like it takes less and less for me to go off on someone. Before, people would walk all over me. Now I will be the first to escalate something if I feel someone gave me a hint of disrespect.
The exception to this will be the road. I personally am that aggressive of a driver that people probably curse ME out for cutting THEM off.
I remember I used to be the type of person who took a lot of crap from people. People would disrespect me, I would not react, and they continued to do it. This happened throughout childhood and it continued into adolescence and into my early 20s. I am close to being 30 now and because of this, my patience with people is getting shorter by the day.
It's like if I am at the store and something goes wrong, I start going off on people. I haven't gotten to the point I yell, but I feel I'm getting close. It's like with time I just feel as if people are stupid and it needs to be pointed out. I then realize later that I may have gone too far, but that's not often. Often times I feel like I was probably too easy on them and didn't do enough. But as time goes by, my reaction time to people doing something that bothers me gets shorter and shorter.
The thing is, I notice that people in later ages tend to be like this, too. I feel like it's an old man thing. Old men just don't seem to give a crap and if something is pissing them off, they let it be known and don't care to spare feelings.
Is this a result of getting old? When I was younger I would just let it go but it would eat me up inside. Now I just let it OUT and I feel better. Like the other day I was at a restaurant and they cleared me plate before I finished it and I went off on the manager. In this situation I felt like I went too far but yet I know I would feel worse if I let it go. Other times I'll just be quick with a smart comment to someone I feel is acting stupid. I definitely feel this is more of an old man trait; you don't see too many younger people engaging in this kind of activity. Do you any of you find your patience decrease over time?
I know some people who seem to have the patience of a sloth and I can't see how. It's like something that would make me berserk makes them react by simply saying a simple sentence of "I can't believe this." I used to do that and I would just be even more mad later. I feel it's good to just let it out so long as you don't hurt anyone.
Ok, young man, it's like this..
I don't care how old you are? 25 or 85, don't be disrespectful, speak plain and to the point. There's a difference, I'll go out of my way to help anyone, as long as you don't EVER take my kindness for a weakness, if anyone ever steps in your lane and is disrespectful or not polite to you, be firm and hold your ground, and let them know, you don't have to take any ones grief or drama, but don't make a bad stand, in other words, don't mouth off around strangers in a dangerous place or bar, it could be a mistake, I've seen people in the right and said something and talk back at the wrong time and place, and get knocked out for holding their ground at the wrong place and time. If your at a restaurant or public place that's different, don't get into the habit of mouthing off all the time, only when it's absolutely necessary. Also- Don't be so thinned skinned, sometimes it's better to drive on, then make a bad stand..
Ok, young man, it's like this..
I don't care how old you are? 25 or 85, don't be disrespectful, speak plain and to the point. There's a difference, I'll go out of my way to help anyone, as long as you don't EVER take my kindness for a weakness, if anyone ever steps in your lane and is disrespectful or not polite to you, be firm and hold your ground, and let them know, you don't have to take any ones grief or drama, but don't make a bad stand, in other words, don't mouth off around strangers in a dangerous place or bar, it could be a mistake, I've seen people in the right and said something and talk back at the wrong time and place, and get knocked out for holding their ground at the wrong place and time. If your at a restaurant or public place that's different, don't get into the habit of mouthing off all the time, only when it's absolutely necessary. Also- Don't be so thinned skinned, sometimes it's better to drive on, then make a bad stand..
I think that there is a line between being assertive and being an a---hole.
When I was younger, I used to be a doormat and get taken advantage of. Now, if I sense that someone is taking advantage of me, I just don't have anything to do with them anymore.
When my daughter was born, I had to force myself to become more assertive because I wanted to be a good role model to her. She would listen to me talk on the phone when dealing with a company so I knew that I had to be able to speak up and assert myself. Believe me, she was paying close attention.
Yet, as another poster pointed out very well, there are times when some idiot annoys you and you have to let it go. For example, we just came back from a city vacation and my husband was getting angry with idiotic people. One day he told some idiot who was jaywalking and almost got hit by a truck that the guy was "an idiot". I had to tell my husband that, yes, there are idiots out there but some of them are not stable people and he could find himself getting hurt. Sure, he was ticked off but somethings you have to let slide.
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