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Old 04-19-2015, 09:13 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,145,154 times
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Why do SOME men feel the need to put a woman down right away? I was told this is how some insecure men bring a woman down to his level, so she will feel sorry for herself. But why? What good will it do?

I had a coworker once tell me I was ugly to my face. Nothing prompted it, I was professional and kind towards him always, and then one day he sits across from me and looks me in the eye and tells me that. We were having a normal conversation and then he again brings up looks. It was like he was focused on that topic, and even one day asked us if his kids were ugly. It was completely uncalled for. And the funny thing is, our department had many women in it, some slightly attractive, some not at all, but yet they were never verbally attacked. Not a one person.

I have been out to eat at restaurants with my boyfriend and some men will try to get my attention (when boyfriend isn't looking or within earshot) by making rude remarks about my appearance as loudly as possible, so I could hear it. Again, nothing prompted this, it comes out of the blue, and there are plenty of other women to notice.

I was very briefly in contact with someone who was interested in me in the past, but I was not. He made it a point to immediately shoot me down and tell me "you were not a good looking person here in this city, but I am sure you are a winner there". Why even bring that up? I actually did not even ask him for that opinion, and funny thing is, he didn't share that before when he was interested. As a matter of fact, he pursued me quite aggressively and made it a point to tell me I was beautiful. But, I think he was angry I never felt anything for him romantically.

I do not walk around like I am all that, or have a large ego. I mind my own business. But, I cannot figure out why in recent years, men are making it a point to bring a woman down who has done nothing at all to deserve the insults.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:19 PM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,642,612 times
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I don't think it is fair to generalize about "men" based on a few jerks you have met.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:20 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,145,154 times
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Some men, not all.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,222 posts, read 16,435,276 times
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Why do women do it? If you can answer that, you can answer this.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:22 PM
 
1,823 posts, read 2,846,992 times
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I have experienced this, and I think it's a defensive measure on their part because they secretly think you don't want them and never will.

My ex did this, not to me personally but he would purposefully insult very attractive women to make them feel insecure. It was a power-play on his part. Needless to say he was VERY insecure and self-loathing.

So yes, I do think it's for the purpose of "knocking you down off your pedestal", even though you don't think you're on a pedestal in the first place. Guys with huge ego's are the most insecure, and if you threaten them in any way they can lash out at you, unprovoked. It's disturbing, I know.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:24 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,145,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux View Post
Why do women do it? If you can answer that, you can answer this.
I actually haven't seen any women that do this? And again, I didn't say all men, I just said some men.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,222 posts, read 16,435,276 times
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Yeah, you're right, none of them do. Never ever. Not to men, and especially not to women.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,194,363 times
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It's not a "men" issue. Some men do it, as do some women.

I get put down and talked about by guys and girls. Some people just find enjoyment in it. Or it makes them feel better when they think they have more going on than you, so to put you down on top of it will make it even better.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:36 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,145,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux View Post
Yeah, you're right, none of them do. Never ever. Not to men, and especially not to women.
I have not experienced any women as an adult doing that to me, or to any men. Atleast from what I have seen and heard. Perhaps you have had a different experience.

If they were not interested in a man, they simply were not. They did not feel the need to tell him he was ugly to his face, or try hard to get his attention just to put him down. I experienced girls doing that in elementary and middle school, but now as an adult, it is only some men that do that.
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Old 04-19-2015, 09:55 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,291 posts, read 52,723,379 times
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I've never once witnessed what the OP is saying happening.... but whatever... I'm always down for threads that generalize and dismiss based on some obscure references.
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