Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OP, I'm not sure how you're blaming sex (or the lack thereof) for your shortcomings in life. At the end of the day, you can't hold anything accountable for the way your life turned out besides yourself. Do you actually want to have sex?
I do not want to have sex, but I have a carnal desire for sex that I am unable to suppress.
What you think is only imagined since you've never experienced it.
Focus on improving yourself, making yourself good marriage material. Go to classes on relationships and marriage, or listen to lessons online. Prepare yourself because one day you'll find someone who was made for you. She's out there. Once she's in your life and you love her more than you love yourself, you'll see physical intimacy in a whole new light.
Being obsessed with sex is a self-control issue. You can control your thoughts. Stop polluting your mind. Stop it.
If it were only that easy to control my thoughts ...
It is far too late to prepare myself for marriage. But on the other hand I have no desire whatsoever to get married. I like to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Married people don't have that luxury.
I understand that humanity would die out without sex, but I feel that sex is banal and dirty and bad and a source of unwanted and harmful distraction from higher thoughts and achieving a higher plane of mental perfection ... nirvana perhaps heaven perhaps.
Sexual urges and thoughts have been nothing but a problem in my life. They have prevented me from focusing on my studies. Attempting to "impress" girls has given me the wrong focus at school and in social settings. Frustration about never being able to attract a girlfriend in 34 years of pure lack of sexual intimacy has caused me more problems than I wish to discuss.
A world without sexual desire would have suited me well. I could have achieved godhead.
the talk of "achieving godhead" is not Christian at all. I don't know what your religious beliefs are,
but there could be a possibility that if you think peace and serenity in the celibate life, or mysticist
revelation is something you "achieve", much more to "godhead", then you could be building up
another monster that will hurt you in the same way that lust hurt you. The power to overcome lust
comes from on high, not from within you.
i agree fundamentally with your first statement. peace be with you.
if God wants you to love and join with a wife, she will be attracted to your peace and soul,
then after you have already conquered these demons of the flesh, she will come to you; not
for anything except love. if this happens, you won't be deciding anything. be at peace always.
Most of the teachings on meditation have been developed by and for monk–type guys, to help them adapt to life inside of a spiritual order. But what are monks? And what do they need?
The short answer is, monks are people who have taken vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience. And what they need is a meditation that acts like a medication to keep them humble and not horny. It's really important for monks to act mellow because they live on alms. Testosterone is the enemy, to monks.
That's a lovely read for early Monday morning. I stopped reading after several paragraphs when I realized I was holding my little man and his two friends!
OP-- it is glaringly obvious that you desperately DO want to have sex. In fact, you are so preoccupied with it that not getting it is becoming a serious torment for you and your only release for these frustrations is to embarrass yourself on these forums with threads like these.
You are telling yourself that you don't want to have sex because you don't want to confront the fact that your personality puts people off. It is easier for you to reject or vilify sex than to risk the integrity of your fragile ego by admitting that women don't want to have sex with you.
Unfortunately, the fact that you don't want to confront this is making your struggle to get sex much harder than it has to be.
If you want to get sex, you are going to have to practice not being an insecure, needy, immature jerk. You don't even have to stop being one altogether, all you need to do is hold yourself together for a few hours a week-- at least for enough time that some lonely, desperate woman will be unable to see how damaged and weak you are inside and might take a chance on you.
If you want a more long-term fix, I would recommend therapy (or a new therapist if you're already in therapy), exercise, laying off the porn/masturbation and fresh air. Unfortunately, you're not going to get to a place where someone will want you without putting more or as much effort into self-improvement as you do into your online tirades.
Have you ever thought about becoming a eunuch and quit fighting your urges ?
Then you can unleash your genius and become the legend that is in your mind with no restraints from your libido.
You are the captain of your ship, the master of your soul.
Throw the ballast overboard if it's slowing you down and release the hounds from your personal hell.
OP-- it is glaringly obvious that you desperately DO want to have sex. In fact, you are so preoccupied with it that not getting it is becoming a serious torment for you and your only release for these frustrations is to embarrass yourself on these forums with threads like these.
You are telling yourself that you don't want to have sex because you don't want to confront the fact that your personality puts people off. It is easier for you to reject or vilify sex than to risk the integrity of your fragile ego by admitting that women don't want to have sex with you.
Unfortunately, the fact that you don't want to confront this is making your struggle to get sex much harder than it has to be.
If you want to get sex, you are going to have to practice not being an insecure, needy, immature jerk. You don't even have to stop being one altogether, all you need to do is hold yourself together for a few hours a week-- at least for enough time that some lonely, desperate woman will be unable to see how damaged and weak you are inside and might take a chance on you.
If you want a more long-term fix, I would recommend therapy (or a new therapist if you're already in therapy), exercise, laying off the porn/masturbation and fresh air. Unfortunately, you're not going to get to a place where someone will want you without putting more or as much effort into self-improvement as you do into your online tirades.
I thank you for providing a helpful post rather than some of the snarky and/or obscene posts made by others.
I gave quick rep because I can't give rep comments but I also wanted to thank you for the post.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
