Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was at a thrift store and a woman there had her cart blocking an entire bookcase of stuff while she was looking for something else. I wanted to see if she would move it so I pretended to try and get something off the blocked shelf, she saw me and did not move. I had to leave anyway but it got me thinking why are people so selfish? I always go out of my way to be polite.
its not necessarily not being polite - its that a person cannot think of two things at same time. It is why you cannot text and drive at same time. if she was concentrating/daydreaming about her items, her mind was concentrating on that and she was not aware of you.
so when you come upon someone like that, you cannot act passive and expect them to see you - they wont. You have to speak up a bit loudly, and say "Excuse me" and wait till they notice you, and say it again, or maybe tap them on the shoulder if they are still not hearing you - (if they have headphones on).
You have to use your mouth sometimes. dont be passive when you need to be assertive.
It's a trait everyone has to a degree, no matter how nice they might be. There's different ways to show it, and it isn't always bad. If you were at a pizza place, you would be adverse to someone walking by and grabbing a slice, by just that alone, by itself, is a selfish act, no if they asked, or follow up, or additional hypothetical, simply you had pizza, and somebody was going to take some.
First, it wasn't fair of you to assume she is selfish. That's a very negative judgement. Not wise to make judgements like that without knowing the person.
I'm a very blunt person, so I do not hestitate to ask questions or let my wants or needs be known. If I don't, then I have no right feeling anything, because I was half the problem.
I drive for a living - 8 hours a day. I see people doing absolutely ridiculous things all day. People are in their own little worlds - until they directly involve me physically, I'll just shake my head and keep going.
I would have just rolled the cart out of the way. I've done that in the grocery store when someone "parks" their cart in the middle of the aisle and proceeds to walk all over the aisle looking for something. I think that's easier than saying "excuse me, will you move your cart, please?".
You should have just rolled the cart the few inches it would have taken to get it out of the way of the bookshelf. I'm sure the person wasn't being intentionally "selfish". She probably didn't want to leave it in the aisle and thought that by putting it off to the side would keep it out of the way of other shoppers.
its not necessarily not being polite - its that a person cannot think of two things at same time. It is why you cannot text and drive at same time. if she was concentrating/daydreaming about her items, her mind was concentrating on that and she was not aware of you.
so when you come upon someone like that, you cannot act passive and expect them to see you - they wont. You have to speak up a bit loudly, and say "Excuse me" and wait till they notice you, and say it again, or maybe tap them on the shoulder if they are still not hearing you - (if they have headphones on).
You have to use your mouth sometimes. dont be passive when you need to be assertive.
That's not the issue. It's about why people think they can block an entire aisle. It takes no effort to make a habit of parking your cart over to one side, to allow people to get by. You're not the only person in the store. There are other shoppers. Being mindful of how you place your cart shows you're aware that there are other people in the store besides you. Some people are oblivious. There's no excuse for that. But when you encounter someone like that, all you have to do is say "excuse me, may I get by?"
It's like people who stand around talking with their friends at a store entrance, blocking the door so no one can get in. Or small groups of people walking down the sidewalk in a line across the walk, so no one can get by them, as if they think they're walking down a private road, or something.
That's not the issue. It's about why people think they can block an entire aisle. It takes no effort to make a habit of parking your cart over to one side, to allow people to get by. You're not the only person in the store. There are other shoppers. Being mindful of how you place your cart shows you're aware that there are other people in the store besides you. Some people are oblivious. There's no excuse for that. But when you encounter someone like that, all you have to do is say "excuse me, may I get by?"
It's like people who stand around talking with their friends at a store entrance, blocking the door so no one can get in. Or small groups of people walking down the sidewalk in a line across the walk, so no one can get by them, as if they think they're walking down a private road, or something.
They do this because they are distracted and lost in their own little world. Possibly not meaning to be rude, they just go off in their world and dont even notice anyone or anything else.. they're concentrating on "which product has least carbos, or which one of these items has the right amount of calories, or where can i find that spice i need or what am i gonna do - my husband just left me - oh darn my mother in law is coming now i have to bake a potroast, oh man what am i gonna do about paying that bill? etc. etc..
So now you encounter a cart, all you have to do is take your cart and push it over a bit, or take your hand and push it over a bit.. there you go! problem solved.
oh and the kids with the cell phone - totally lost in their world.. better hope you dont get one driving in front of you or behind you. THAT is what you have to worry about!
Yesterday i was crossing the intersection driving, and stupid kids on their cell phone looking down were about to cross the street, almost in front of my car. Good thing for them I'm a defensive driver. Stupid stupid people crossing the street not seeing the car about to hit them. Oh i had the light and the right to go.. but i saw these 3 teens about to leave the curb into the street, and they could have gotten hit if i had not seen them. they were looking down on their cell phones all the time. one did happen to look up at me at the very last minute. they had that stupid deer in the headlights look like they just woke up.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,491,234 times
Reputation: 6671
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint
I dont think its being selfish, to me its anti social and ignorant not to show manners and consider others..
Agreed, and at worst it may be a "territorial" thang, but it's more likely just self-centered behavior and being oblivious to anything and anyone else but their own concerns. It's kinda tempting to think that such folks are often doing rude stuff "intentionally", when most of the time they're simply being clueless and self-absorbed (even if sometimes the level of self-centeredness can seem pretty incredible)!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
