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She always has an excuse not wanting me to come over & visit. That she's either cleaning, shopping or exercising. Even on the phone, we will talk/text briefly sometimes, usually me doing the calling or texting.
Our relationship has always been rocky. She's younger than me by 19months. As we got older, it was like we were strangers even living in the same house. For whatever reason, it felt like she didn't want anything to do with me. It continued on after she moved out of the house and got married.
The way she treats me is a little better than 10yrs. ago. Having a cellphone over a landline is easier in getting ahold of her. Even after our little sister passed on, her attitude towards me hasn't changed much.
I had been reading on narcissism and triangulation. It seem to fit what I had experienced with my family. I always felt like the outsider even among my relatives. My mom was the center and if I wanted to know anything that was going on with my siblings, it was through her. More so in my younger days before owning a cellphone . My 2 younger sisters and "baby" brother seemed to bond with each other and got along while I felt excluded from the family loop.
I don't think she sounds narcissistic, maybe busy with her own life. I do wonder when you call what you are trying to discuss with her and wonder if that is not the issue or if you are keeping her on the phone too long. Do you have friends that you call and visit or are you dependent on family members for your socialization?
Triangulation is when the narcissist makes themselves the focal point of information/popularity and creates rivalries between other people like siblings. If anything, OP's mother may be the narcissist if she has set herself up as the center of all information flow and OP has always felt like an outsider.
It sounds like you and your sister just don't get along well. Maybe you guys just have a lot of personality or belief differences and she prefers to keep some distance. Do you argue when you guys get together?
I had been reading on narcissism and triangulation. It seem to fit what I had experienced with my family.
Everyone engages in triangulation to some extent. It's not behavior that is exclusive to someone with narcissistic traits; it's a way to reduce emotional involvement and responsibility when under stress. Murray Bowen came up with the original concept of triangles in family systems therapy. http://www.psychpage.com/learning/li...ing/bowen.html
Triangulation is when the narcissist makes themselves the focal point of information/popularity and creates rivalries between other people like siblings. If anything, OP's mother may be the narcissist if she has set herself up as the center of all information flow and OP has always felt like an outsider.
It sounds like you and your sister just don't get along well. Maybe you guys just have a lot of personality or belief differences and she prefers to keep some distance. Do you argue when you guys get together?
hardly ever, do we argue now. I've always felt like the outsider in my family not able to relate to them
Not enough info. You haven't really told us anything about her behavior, OP, except that you're distant from her, and visa versa, and that she's hard to reach by phone.
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