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You hit the nail on the head. I have noticed this as well. And it always follows the trend of anime and video games.
Is anime really that popular in America? I thought it was mainstream in Asian countries only. Hard for me to imagine Caucasian or black males enjoying that type of entertainment.
I am not super outgoing myself but saying "Hello", "How are you" "Good Morning", and acknowledging people you know or have interacted with, we are talking bare minimum, very basic social tools here.
Odd, I've noticed this way more often in women over here. The guys I work with seem to be more outspoken about their problems in my university. The girls don't say anything and its like I have to figure out their troubles and help.
In NYC, I noticed both men and women were quite outspoken, which I like. In general I like talking to people and making connections outside the computer screen.
Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 09-06-2015 at 02:33 PM..
Both men and women have problems being sociable and intermingling with people in what most of us would consider a "normal" fashion. And there's a wide variety. We have a community pool. There's an older woman there who just starts talking to you, even if you're not interested in a conversation, and she can be quite overbearing and annoying.
Just looking for some feedback. I live in a college town and I interact with a lot of girls and guys in their early 20's. I don't really have this problem with most girls but some of these young dudes here are so incredibly socially awkward.
I was in the grocery store the other day and saw some young dude I used to work with. I just said "Hey, how is it going?" His reaction was so weird, he just looked at me and did not say anything.
Maybe I am too old but I find that super bizarre and it has happened to me more than a few times. Maybe I am too friendly?
Last week, I was in the same grocery store and some guy that used to be my teacher at Iowa State saw me and said "Hey, how are you?"- He was super friendly even though I never really liked him all that much, but it was nice of him though.
Maybe I am crazy but if I see someone I know or have interacted with, I think saying Hi, How are you is not being weird. Is it?
I don't think it has anything to do with younger people being socially awkward, at least not in the usual sense of the term. What I've noticed (location not far from yours) are younger people are extremely suspicious when approached by an older person, even if it's someone they kinda know- it's like they were raised, taught, trained, or something, to think everyone has some kind of sideways motives.
Why so much hate towards socially awkward people? Are they hurting you in any way? If not, leave them alone. By the way if you try to reach out to them just know it might not be reciprocated. Any negative label you throw on them makes you look bad, not them.
Agreed here. But some people are just not outgoing or sociable. They probably aren't even awkward, but just don't want to be bothered or go out of their way to speak to someone, unless it's a good friend or family. And in some cases, it depends on where they are and what they're doing. Time and Place for socializing for some people, and if they're shopping for groceries, probably not the bets time for them. Which is fine.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 09-06-2015 at 11:36 PM..
Reason: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).
Just looking for some feedback. I live in a college town and I interact with a lot of girls and guys in their early 20's. I don't really have this problem with most girls but some of these young dudes here are so incredibly socially awkward.
I was in the grocery store the other day and saw some young dude I used to work with. I just said "Hey, how is it going?" His reaction was so weird, he just looked at me and did not say anything.
Maybe I am too old but I find that super bizarre and it has happened to me more than a few times. Maybe I am too friendly?
Last week, I was in the same grocery store and some guy that used to be my teacher at Iowa State saw me and said "Hey, how are you?"- He was super friendly even though I never really liked him all that much, but it was nice of him though.
Maybe I am crazy but if I see someone I know or have interacted with, I think saying Hi, How are you is not being weird. Is it?
In todays society?...probably scared to death he'd get accused of rape if he spoke (doesnt matter whether youre male or female)...welcome to the new millenium..
A lot of people (all ages) lack basic skills of appropriate social interaction.
My husband is a naturally gregarious, friendly guy. He strikes up chatty conversations with checkout line clerks, kids with fast food employees when ordering a soda, always tells people genuinely to have an nice day, comments on others' dogs when we take ours walking in the park, is just generally outgoing.
It's really hit and miss whether people reciprocate, and a lot of times, you run into people who are obviously of the, "Yeah, I don't have time for your small talk" persuasion. But, semi-occasionally, he'll run into people who, no joke, will look at him like he has three heads for daring to engage them in even the most limited, two or three turn conversational exchange, or stare blankly like, "Why are you talking?" It's not horribly common, but it's pretty surprising how it's not exactly rare, either.
I feel for somebody like my spouse, who is a quintessential "people person," it's really a matter of folks like him becoming rarer and rarer. I think as a society, we are increasingly disconnected from polite, in person socialization with those around us.
Having returned for graduate study after 16 years out of the college classroom, those of us who were students a decade or more ago have often noted (and it's a graduate-level psychology program, so observing social behavior is part and parcel of what we do), it's notable how, now, during a ten-minute break halfway through class, those classmates who chat amongst themselves are very much NOT the norm...most people just busy themselves on their phones and give others who try to engage them in conversation the side-eye, like, "Why are you bothering me when I'm obviously Tweeting?"
This seems kind of strange to me, so maybe it is regional? I'm somewhat socially awkward, and rarely initiate an exchange of pleasantries. But, I have no problem reciprocating, if someone else says hello. Even if I don't recognize the the person, I'll still answer, even if I'm giving them the "do I know you?" look. But, then again, since I'm not usually initiating, I'm not coming across the truly awkward people who aren't answering?
And how many of them were raised in single-parent, female headed, or merely female-dominated households? Or get most of their cueing for social situations where Hollywood and Madison Avenue are working to impose an entirely different set of values? What can we expect when the media conditions its groupies treat every single male but more so if white and of middle-class appearance, as a potential Ted Bundy?
I have no quarrel with the basics behind the emancipation of our women: it's unstoppable, and as in so many other situations, those who can adapt are doing better than ever. But there are some very strange cases out there on the fringes. Their numbers are growing rapidly, and the extreme cases are becoming more extreme. And the Politically Correct Police are powerless to answer this one.
BBM~ above to address..Actually I kind of take this comment or question as a rather veiled suggestion that female-dominant household are somehow incompetent. I raised 2 boys to adulthood from ages 5 and 9. They both are super friendly, have sense of humour, well received in almost any situation.
Of course gaming was NOT that constant in their lives and were both involved into sports of some kind..had wonderful teachers, coaches who took interest in them ( course especially the elder one was a terrific athlete) and constantly being asked to participate in many other things that helped teach them "Social Skills" .
The upside of that mother only parent is, they learn about the other side of that human coin and appreciate that softer side of girls and women. Learned very early many other things important besides sex, drugs, rock & roll ..and should add..constant video games are a waste of time when you can go out, get fresh air, exercise, interact with friends, meet new people and so on.
Lets face it..Yes young boys and men do need male influence..however, why expose your kids to abusive, dominating, narrow minded ( me me me type men) which does happen? But as a single ( divorced) mother, I had to work, provide for my kids and make sure they grew up to be responsible men, held accountable as well as praised when making great decisions.. My road wasn't an easy one..but I sure feel I did my best
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Girls are raised in these households too and it doesn't seem to stop too many of them from succeeding.
I thought you Libertarians were into personal responsibility, not blaming someone else.
I know..Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars, eh? Girls or boyz from affluent families also have issues too..Single mother home doesn't hold that distinction in my mind... THE problem actually seems to come down to Lack of communication ( face to face) ..too much texting, games, tweeting, lack of consequences, bored, gravitating to impersonal relationships versus in-person friends beyond just classroom time. It's not just Socially awkwardness..It's more detachment outside of their own bubble that's been created.
This goes beyond shyness..That has never been uncommon throughout the ages..Some are outgoing, some are more careful...However, someone says hello..just say hello back..that's all it takes.. no need to reveal your personal history to a friendly gesture of a greeting
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Well, boys need a father figure which they cannot get from a woman. I'm sorry, I know single mothers do their damn best from personal experience but you still need men around to help boys transition into men. If not a husband, maybe relatives or good friends.
Yep...and I address this above your quote ^^ however.even then as a mother..best your also do your homework about male influencer's as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
Why so much hate towards socially awkward people? Are they hurting you in any way? If not, leave them alone. By the way if you try to reach out to them just know it might not be reciprocated. Any negative label you throw on them makes you look bad, not them.
I don't believe anyone mentioned the word HATE ..It's an observation that is concerning to the OP and it appears many other's have noticed as well..
I guess I lucked out because I don't believe I have actually ever met any young male adults that OP mentioned..not a one of male friends of my kids ever felt uncomfortable around me..In fact my place use to be a gathering place for young people ( when I was home of course) and always treated with respect and a lot of humour...Guess I inherited that legacy from my mom..Rest her Soul
In my experience, people in my generation are very much into social media and things like that. I'm a woman, I am very much into anime, drawing, and video games. However, when it comes to people I am quite talkative and easy to get along with. Most of the people in my college are the same way, and they are friends with just about everyone at the school.
I don't talk to or say hi to random strangers unless I am at work. It also depends on my mood. Most people I see are usually on their phones or have other things on their minds. When someone randomly speaks to me, I will admit I am skeptical of how genuine they are. I will wonder why they are talking to me, but I think that is just me being cautious. I wouldn't mind talking to people if they are "genuine" but you really can't tell these days I guess.
As for people who are socially awkward or don't speak, I don't really hold it against them. It's their life. What get's me though is when people ask questions like "Should I call him/her back?" "Does he/she like me?", and other questions like that. I can understand things like that coming people in middle school and the early part of HS but late teen or young adult? Should be common sense.
Last edited by Auraliea; 09-06-2015 at 03:51 PM..
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