Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I need a psychologist or some one with that kind of experience to help me .I've been through a lot that I've never really talked about with any one .not even my own mom knows everything I been through.everything from domestic violence,from two previous relationships,tragic things from child hood.step dad beating on mom cause he was to high on Meth.step dad putting me down.family doing me dirty,kicking me out and stealing my only nice items I owned.,I do not have friends ,haven't had someone I can talk to in well I would say years but I would be lieing..so I'm going to say a good 18years.for three years I've hardly even spoken and if I did talk I would be quiet.I just can't trust people.I just don't understand I'm a great person who cares about others before myself.why do all the ****ed up things happen to me,anyway I'm trying to give love another shot and started seeing this guy.been together for 5months.we have so much in common n that makes me feel almost at one with him,but he's told me everything about himself past and current,he's been wanting me to communicate and open up to him because he feels he doesn't know me at all.I want to open up,he feels like I don't love and trust him.and it's making me hate myself because he feels that way.Idk what to do.or how to even open up
My girlfriend was very open to me about her past attempts at suicide
My girlfriend was very open to me that she is $100,000 in debt due to Catholic college
It would have been better for me to have heard those things if she could have said:
"Though I did try to commit suicide at 14 years old with Tylenol and the other attempt more recently with alcohol before I met you, I was able to identify what problems led me to those attempts and now I am completely 100% happy and secure with myself now, happy with my life -- no matter what happens I will live a full life."
But she never said that, never assured me that no matter what happens she would live a full life, never said suicide was off the table, so now I'm in a way being held hostage to her
She also never told me she would take measures to reduce her debt by making choices every day to save money however she can -- doesn't choose the cheapest goods although I do see an improvement -- I believe her debt will loom forever over her and that is stifling
So the moral of the story to you is:
Get yourself fixed up before you reveal your secrets, for both you and your partners sanity
If you reveal your secrets too soon, your partner will take advantage of it and you
Good luck buddy, I'll keep half an eye on this thread
this is one of those tough situations. You obviously don't want to tell everyone you ever date your whole life history's secrets but this is person you have dated for 5 months. If you feel secure in the relationship it is probably time to start revealing some of your past problems. Not all at once but certainly before you guys start talking marriage or living together and for GOODNESS sake before any children come along.
I know what you're going through.
When I was 19, I hitch hiked 3,000 miles away from everything and everyone I knew because I couldn't take it anymore and needed to find peace for my soul.
Alcohol, sex, and drugs didn't work for very long.
However,this is what I used to cast my demons out of my mind because I was broke and had no health insurance.
You want to start out by sitting down with a pen and a big stack of blank paper one weekend on a Friday night with a big cup of coffee and just start writing everything down that's on your mind. By Sunday night, you'll feel better.
It helps to externalize your toxic emotions and allows you to read about it like it happened to someone else so the emotional impact is lessened.
It's an important step in getting a catharsis by helping to release your thoughts and emotions and to help neutralize your mind and body.
When you run out of things to write down, put all the paperwork in a safe place and go back and when you feel strong, drink a cup of cofee and read it about a month later.
The coffee will help you focus and keep you postive. Alcohol will make you want to cry.
Wait another month and then read it again.
After repeating this cycle when your mentally strong, you'll be able to read it without it having such an emotional effect on your psyche and that will put you on your path to healing and give you a perspective on what you've gone through without all the psychic pain. It's like weightlifting and you're lifting some heavy weights
Each reading will give you the distance you seek from your past until one day you'll realize that it seems like it was a long time ago that it happened and any restimulation of those memories doesn't bother you anymore.
Good luck with your path and your journey back to good mental health.
It's not easy, if it was, we would all be sane.
Last edited by NickofDiamonds; 11-05-2015 at 01:40 PM..
Are you working on being more open? Or are you resisting change totally? I do think you need to talk to your BF even if you say, "I want to talk to you about some things, but I've held them back for so long, I don't know how to do it." But, as you said, you need someone to assist you with this. I think WBA made a good point about working on your issue. That part is up to you. But if your BF is talking to you about himself, then you will have to begin to talk. If you can't do that now, then when will you be able to?
I don't know how old you are, but I do think you need to talk to a professional. If you had a lot of trauma as a child, you could have PTSD if it was never dealt with.
If you were sexually abused in any way as a child, call your local R*pe hotline. It doesn't cost a penny and they're the most caring and compassionate therapists around.
Get help now and don't allow what happened in the past mess up your future. There is help available with the right people for your situation.
So I need a psychologist or some one with that kind of experience to help me .I've been through a lot that I've never really talked about with any one .not even my own mom knows everything I been through.everything from domestic violence,from two previous relationships,tragic things from child hood.step dad beating on mom cause he was to high on Meth.step dad putting me down.family doing me dirty,kicking me out and stealing my only nice items I owned.,I do not have friends ,haven't had someone I can talk to in well I would say years but I would be lieing..so I'm going to say a good 18years.for three years I've hardly even spoken and if I did talk I would be quiet.I just can't trust people.I just don't understand I'm a great person who cares about others before myself.why do all the ****ed up things happen to me,anyway I'm trying to give love another shot and started seeing this guy.been together for 5months.we have so much in common n that makes me feel almost at one with him,but he's told me everything about himself past and current,he's been wanting me to communicate and open up to him because he feels he doesn't know me at all.I want to open up,he feels like I don't love and trust him.and it's making me hate myself because he feels that way.Idk what to do.or how to even open up
There is a community of people on a website called Daily Strength. it's free to join and there are some really great people and resources there. Check it out: Online Support Groups and Forums at DailyStrength
As far as your boyfriend... if you do want to open up to him, maybe start small. Tell him something small that you feel safe sharing, and then see what he does with it. See how he reacts. If he is supportive and kind and responds in a way that keeps you feeling safe, that will help you decide if you want to keep sharing with him or not.
You could also try to write it out in a journal or something and then let him read it that way. Sometimes writing is easier than talking. Especially if there's so much you have inside that you are trying to explain or share.
Good luck with everything. And I hope you find Daily Strength helpful. I know I did!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
