Can't have sex in a real life situation

[SFBayBoomer]

Originally Posted by Raena77

Keep practicing.

Uh....no. I think that's what caused his problem in the first place.

[Larry Siegel]

Originally Posted by reneeh63

Men have NOT had the kind of access available now to any kind of porn and the mass quantities so they can look at it for hours a day...kind of allows guys to j-off more easily and more times than if they have to look at the same old centerfolds for a month like back in the day before internet porn. But hey - everything's just the same as 50 years ago.

Easier for the guy to just put the brakes on both and see what happens - that's EXACTLY what a therapist will tell him - and he can do it for free!

You may be right. I am open to more than one point of view.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by DefiantNJ

Actually, it is probably a very good idea to try with an escort in this situation. An escort is not going to judge him and probably would not be shocked as a girlfriend would. She has seen it all. Nor is she likely to tell anything to her friends as a girlfriend probably would. And of course a girlfriend of OP's age will probably just break up with him if he is not able to perform. Young women are not know for patience in this area.

Read the OP. He started this thread after he went to escorts on 2 separate occasions and could not get an erection. OP has never been able to have an erection with a real woman, only with porn. I still believe the porn is an issue. It's certainly not an issue for all men, and I like it too in fact, (the right kind, not too raunchy, don't need to see anything squirting into her eyes) but this young man sounds to me like he has trained his body to get erections only in response to certain images. I would guess that he has also had to seek 'harder' images as time has gone on, and it may also be the case when he does get erect, he won't be able to orgasm anyway because he is so used to his hand and a computer screen.

I also suggest therapy as well as a strategy to quit porn and start to re-train your body to be able to get erect without needing that degree of visual stimulation.

[SilverPlatter]

Originally Posted by Gathis

I'm 23 and I've been masturbating and watching tons of porn ever since my early teens. I went to an escort for the first time last year and couldn't manage to keep an erection long enough. I was surely stressed and nervous but I never had that sort of problem when on my own.

I went to another one this week and the same thing happened. She was nice and friendly and tried her best but it was still a major humiliation to me.

Is this usual? This has seriously worried me.

Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. Young men need to stop making a big deal out of "losing one's virginity". If you're too nervous to have sex, don't have sex.

[SilverPlatter]

Originally Posted by MordinSolus

I'm not kidding. OP's problem/situation is common among serial killers before they start serial killing.

Virginity wasn't the real reason Elliot Rodger and Adam Lanza went on their shooting sprees. It was only used as an excuse. Most real virgins out there could care less that they haven't had sex.

[Larry Siegel]

Originally Posted by SilverPlatter

Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. Young men need to stop making a big deal out of "losing one's virginity". If you're too nervous to have sex, don't have sex.

This isn't really a satisfactory solution. Does it work for you?