Can't have sex in a real life situation (inability, pathological, problems)
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you would think the opposite would happen,,,,,you get a REAL woman in your hands,,, you'd be a rocket man
doesn't make sense to me.. I can look at all the food pictures I want,,,they look great but I cant taste them
my mouth may water looking at them,,,,but still no taste,,,
but to finally eat the food ive been looking at ........and taste/feel all he real sensations,,,is a different world..
the most important sex organ is the brain.
relax... no expectations. if you do have a real woman ... with you ,,,look at her don't reference the porn
No matter what you do, stay away from hookers! No good can come from that. Find a girlfriend....
Actually, it is probably a very good idea to try with an escort in this situation. An escort is not going to judge him and probably would not be shocked as a girlfriend would. She has seen it all. Nor is she likely to tell anything to her friends as a girlfriend probably would. And of course a girlfriend of OP's age will probably just break up with him if he is not able to perform. Young women are not know for patience in this area.
Actually, it is probably a very good idea to try with an escort in this situation. An escort is not going to judge him and probably would not be shocked as a girlfriend would. She has seen it all. Nor is she likely to tell anything to her friends as a girlfriend probably would. And of course a girlfriend of OP's age will probably just break up with him if he is not able to perform. Young women are not know for patience in this area.
And she won´t have a problem just working on him with out expecting much in return.
Plus they know all the tricks that women his age mostly don´t.
I'm 23 and I've been masturbating and watching tons of porn ever since my early teens. I went to an escort for the first time last year and couldn't manage to keep an erection long enough. I was surely stressed and nervous but I never had that sort of problem when on my own.
I went to another one this week and the same thing happened. She was nice and friendly and tried her best but it was still a major humiliation to me.
Is this usual? This has seriously worried me.
At 23 usually Full time job is better to have than other jobs. Wait until 30, its when that life starts.
I just edited my post to note that. But I don't know if it's true that the OP is unable to relate to women. Maybe it's true, maybe it isn't. But why would you suggest that? I don't think the OP has offered any evidence of that one way or the other.
He's never had a girlfriend.
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Originally Posted by assumedname
Consciously thinking about his partner ("Oh my God, is she satisfied by this?") and becoming more mindful of the sensations he's experiencing ("How do I feel now? How should I be feeling later?") will make him much less likely to be able to get it up. I know you deplore personal experience, but let me tell you a little more about mine. After my first successful sexual experience, my partner said to me, "You're really good at this. I can't believe you haven't done it before." And I told her, "I was just doing what I felt like doing." She was satisfied because what I felt like doing was seeing her satisfied, even more so than satisfying myself. But none of that was conscious -- thinking about it would have killed it for me and for her. Your issue is that you don't have this problem of getting into your head and can't relate to it, but I can.
You know nothing about "my issue" and my experiences, what I can and cannot do. LOL
"Mindfulness" is totally different from being anxious and self-conscious, which is what you are attempting to describe with the "is she satisfied?" examples.
You aren't really sharing a similar experience. All that happened was a story about sex triggered a memory in your head, and you ran with it.
Neither had I at 23 (my first was at 24), but I always related to women much better than I related to men. I found men intimidating and judgmental, and to be honest, I still do. I've gotten a lot better over the years at pretending to be on the same wavelength as men, but it's mostly fake. I found women in general to be much easier to talk to, far more understanding, more mature, more confessional and more interesting. But that didn't translate into romance because of a variety of issues too complex to get into here, at least some of which the OP likely also suffers from.
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Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
You know nothing about "my issue" and my experiences, what I can and cannot do. LOL
So you're saying you're regularly crippled by your own anxiety and self-doubt, particularly in social situations? LOL
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
"Mindfulness" is totally different from being anxious and self-conscious, which is what you are attempting to describe with the "is she satisfied?" examples.
Sounds like you're saying the OP needs to calm down and live in the moment, which is the same thing I was saying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
You aren't really sharing a similar experience. All that happened was a story about sex triggered a memory in your head, and you ran with it.
I think you are normal for not being able to have sex with hookers. That's just plain normal to me. Who can sleep with a hooker?!
Second...you just need to drop the porn, forget about hookers and meet girls and get your feet planted in the real world of sex.
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