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I always tended to try to look at the person as a whole. For example, she might be a bad communicator, but, she's definitely smart and she is organized. She is honest and she loves her family and would definitely be a great mother. She is very capable and she is a great cook, or we have a lot in common. She might be a bad communicator, but she is not a crack head. You can work on improving the communications. The next girl you date may also be a bad communicator. She may also be addicted to drugs. So, if you liked her as a whole it might be worth asking her out again if she is still available. Maybe you missed a good opportunity and you know it.
to make matters worse i went to a game last night from our alumni and she was sitting with a group of friends 5 rows back. couldnt make this stuff up, out of thousands of possible seats in all different sections, she ends up in the same section 5-10 rows back. I didnt really make eye contact with her but we def saw each other.
I always tended to try to look at the person as a whole. For example, she might be a bad communicator, but, she's definitely smart and she is organized. She is honest and she loves her family and would definitely be a great mother. She is very capable and she is a great cook, or we have a lot in common. She might be a bad communicator, but she is not a crack head. You can work on improving the communications. The next girl you date may also be a bad communicator. She may also be addicted to drugs. So, if you liked her as a whole it might be worth asking her out again if she is still available. Maybe you missed a good opportunity and you know it.
communication was probably what ultimately lead to us breaking up. There were some other issues there, but otherwise she was a great girl which is why it hurts i guess. 4 or 5 months after the breakup i reached out to her to see if she wanted to meet up but she was wishy washy and i ultimately just let it be. I would give it another go around if we both put in the effort to speak our minds freely, but it wont work unless she would be on-board and since i've already attempted to reach out to her, i feel like anymore will just make me look like a stalker or some loser that wont give up.
Anyone else have had a hard time or has tips on ways of getting over past lovers or relationships? For whatever reason, I have a hard time moving on and probably spend way too much time trying to analyze what went wrong or if i should give it another chance?
For instance my last relationship that last several months ended almost a year ago. I tried dating different women but none i had the same connection to or things in common with. My mind goes back to the good times we had... I recognize this is not thinking clearly since i'm only choosing to see the good and not the negatives of the relationship like lack of communication etc.
You need to try and let go of your past. Take time to get to know the new women, find similar interest and share your experiences with her. Lots of people like this and over analyze on what they want in an mate. Generally we look at our past for our futures and most of the time it does not work out like that.
When I first read this thread, I thought you were a woman, because lots of women go through this from what I know and observed from a perspective of a man. Its best to try to make peace with her via communication and try to move on from this one.
you need to try and let go of your past. Take time to get to know the new women, find similar interest and share your experiences with her. Lots of people like this and over analyze on what they want in an mate. Generally we look at our past for our futures and most of the time it does not work out like that.
when i first read this thread, i thought you were a woman, because lots of women go through this from what i know and observed from a perspective of a man. Its best to try to make peace with her via communication and try to move on from this one.
communication was probably what ultimately lead to us breaking up. There were some other issues there, but otherwise she was a great girl which is why it hurts i guess. 4 or 5 months after the breakup i reached out to her to see if she wanted to meet up but she was wishy washy and i ultimately just let it be. I would give it another go around if we both put in the effort to speak our minds freely, but it wont work unless she would be on-board and since i've already attempted to reach out to her, i feel like anymore will just make me look like a stalker or some loser that wont give up.
Well it sounds like you've done a bit of self-reflection, which is good, but it seems the moving on part is missing. You have to find a way to make peace within yourself and let go. aoendimg close to a year ruminating over a couple month relationship is keeping you stuck. Do you have any idea why you haven't been able to let go of this yet?
Well it sounds like you've done a bit of self-reflection, which is good, but it seems the moving on part is missing. You have to find a way to make peace within yourself and let go. aoendimg close to a year ruminating over a couple month relationship is keeping you stuck. Do you have any idea why you haven't been able to let go of this yet?
It was probably more like 6 or 7 month relationship not that makes a huge difference. To the second part of ur question, I'm not sure why I get hung up, I def see a pattern though of girls in the past I spent a lot of time hung up on them after it was done, maybe it's feelings of lonliness
As people we all tend to idealize past relationships especially if we are still carrying the torch. However, at some point we have to take a good hard look at what the deal breakers were when we went our separate ways and emphasize those instead.
Look at people who remarry the same person. Most times they divorce a second time, or even a third.
It's best to put away our rose colored glasses about past loves and look at them -- and the unsuccessful bonding we had with them -- as they really are. No one's fault, just not in the cards.
And if you believe in destiny and are a spiritual person, consider that the relationship may not have worked out because it was going to end tragically. Only once did I try to rekindle a relationship with a boyfriend I had as a teen. A few years after that he was murdered, at the age of 31. It hurt a lot to hear that news following our second breakup but he wasn't my husband or father of my children. So I felt that our breakup could have been meant to spare me that kind of loss.
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