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I'm sure many would. Others wouldn't and everyone's happy with the arrangement.
Independence can be a great virtue and it can be a stressful, dysfunctional existence. Living in a multi-generational household can be a great virtue and can be a stressful, dysfunctional existence.
Why is one more fortunate than the other? Why is one "better?" Isn't it up to the individual?
What I really don't get is all the fuss about it. The only people who should be fussing are the older parents whose children mooch off them.
People who make up their minds about people based on group stereotypes really don't seem to care about the truth, in my opinion.
Even more to the point. It is no one else's business but the people themselves in such a situation. If parents allow their adult kids to live in their home that is on them.
1 person. My brother, he's 40 and pathetic.
He has a great job and makes good money. Just a lazy bum who lives rent free.
He can't seem to figure out why he can't get a date.
You can be a mature, self-sufficient adult who just happens to live with your parents (or other people) or else be a dependent, overgrown child living seemingly independently in a subsidized apartment with parents (or other people) completely paying your sorry way. Only supporting yourself builds character, regardless of where you live. I've known plenty of grown women living supposedly autonomously who still call their fathers to come kill a spider. When it comes to this, you can't judge by the arrangement.
Touche.
I just cut it off with someone who lives on his own, but goes to his mother's house to eat (for no other reason that he would rather buy beer than groceries.) Either that or he was expecting to come over, eat, have a shower, do his laundry, etc. He wanted the illusion of independence without the responsibility. I worked for what I have, I do it on my own (unless the cats are paying my bills nad just not telling me), and I prefer for a partner to do the same. Each person's living situation is his own business; however it is my business whether or not I want to accept it.
I just cut it off with someone who lives on his own, but goes to his mother's house to eat (for no other reason that he would rather buy beer than groceries.) Either that or he was expecting to come over, eat, have a shower, do his laundry, etc. He wanted the illusion of independence without the responsibility. I worked for what I have, I do it on my own (unless the cats are paying my bills nad just not telling me), and I prefer for a partner to do the same. Each person's living situation is his own business; however it is my business whether or not I want to accept it.
You, as a woman, affirm and lend credence to one of my earlier-made points in this thread. That earlier-made point of mine said that, even if I (as a male) felt nothing amiss or out-of-place or weird about being a male adult of ever-advancing age who perennially lived with his parents as a way-of-life, I have come to gauge the prevailing viewpoint on this issue held by the very great majority of the female half of humanity . . . and that greatly-prevaling viewpoint is that most women hold a less-than-accepting view of a man who has not exhibited and exemplified being his own person and establishing an abode and framework in life that doesn't have him putting on at least the appearance (if not the reality) of being so tied in and dependent on his parents as a way-of-life. Again, if even I myself thought it was perfectly fine for myself as a male to be this way, the fact (whether I personally like it or not) is that if I am a man who wants to be considered by the female population at-large (at least in standard American or North American culture . . . not amongst certain immigrant sub-cultures for whom it has been said that this is a way-of-life for them) as a prospect for them to consider for serving as a significant other to them for romantic or affectional/sexual or marital union, then I should make it my own outlook and mindset as a male to strive to exemplify that type of independence so as to be able to realistically appeal to the very great majority of the female half of humanity.
It is what it is. I don't write the script for all the women of this world as to how they think and perceive and feel and what standards they subscribe to. They do that for themselves. So, if I want them to accept me and embrace me as a prospective male partner, I have to be concerned with how they see things . . . because I want something from them (their acceptance). I might think in my own mind "It's just not fair! It's not fair!" but it is what it is.
I have a cousin who's in his late 40s, and has long had a reputation for living with/mooching off of his mother. Much of this is because my aunt has enabled the situation, and it will be interesting to see what happens when she dies.
People say this kind of thing a lot here on CD. Usually it's people who are adults and living with their parents, or parents who are stuck in a mire of enabling. (Not you Helga; you just happen to be the most recent person to bring this up, so I quoted you.) My first response is, why say that like it's a criticism? Independence is a good thing!
But I also want to remind people who say this that we live in a country that with its rich history of industriousness, work ethic, resources, personal freedom, a relatively free market, a (mostly) ever-growing economy, and some damned good luck thrown in. We are fortunate enough to be in a country in which adults having their own homes separate from their parents is a "given" and expected for the most part. It's not because we lack some old-world virtue of communalism and interdependence, or we lack commitment and affection for our families. I'm sure any of those people in other countries living with their parents into their 40s, if given the choice, and if being honest, would certainly choose being able to have their own home. This whole thing with seeing it as some sort of virtue is just a defense, and an afterthought. Oh look at those poor Americans, pushing their 20-somethings so meanly out of the nest....I feel so sorry for them... setting up such harsh expectations for their children....We're such a loving family, with 3 generations cuddling in our 600 square foot flat...
Different values. For one, I cannot see wasting money and resources over some sense of pride. Also, I think it is worse to go to work all day, so you can pay someone else to take care of your parents and your kids. Then everyone in your family will think you hate them, and what will you have to look forward to? Once your kids finish 25 years of school, they move out, and then you never see them again. They have 25 more years of paying off their debt. Once they are financially stable, it is time to send you to a nursing home, and the grand kids to daycare.
Just seems a deadly cycle. I don't understand it. Like the need to own a 4 bedroom house, even if you are a single person. With 8 rooms all capable of housing 15 people in each room. But instead use them for your cat, or something. A family of 8 can easily live in a 400 sq ft house. And the need to own 1-2 cars? Why not take a bus, ride a bike, walk? There are Americans that have cars, but no food! That is a strange confusion of priorities. Or they will spend $50 on lunch, and cannot pay their gas bill. Just different cultural values I guess. But I don't get it...
Don't even start on credit. Why would anyone want to get into that evil trap?
And I am not good online. So I am not meaning to offend.
I don't get the "15 people in each room" comment. No. That is way too overcrowded, for health and sanitary purposes.
8 people in a 400 sq ft house? How? Still, stacking people up like that is not healthy.
I can understand some f your reasoning helga, but not all of it is even applicable here in the USA. Where do you live that society lives like that?
I don't get the "15 people in each room" comment. No. That is way too overcrowded, for health and sanitary purposes.
8 people in a 400 sq ft house? How? Still, stacking people up like that is not healthy.
I can understand some f your reasoning helga, but not all of it is even applicable here in the USA. Where do you live that society lives like that?
On Netflix there is a documentary about the Paskowitz family. So interesting. A Stanford educated doctor and his opera singer wife raised their 9 children in small 24-foot size RVs.
When I think it was the oldest son finally decided to "leave home" and make a life for himself, he was 23. And apparently the father was upset with him for wanting to leave. And then conversely, when the youngest three were ages 14 and younger, the mother had some medical issues and so the father and the mother basically moved to New York and left the youngest three to fend for themselves.
It's such an odd story, but a good example of a family living in such a way that is not generally recognized as the norm.
Different values. For one, I cannot see wasting money and resources over some sense of pride. Also, I think it is worse to go to work all day, so you can pay someone else to take care of your parents and your kids. Then everyone in your family will think you hate them, and what will you have to look forward to? Once your kids finish 25 years of school, they move out, and then you never see them again. They have 25 more years of paying off their debt. Once they are financially stable, it is time to send you to a nursing home, and the grand kids to daycare.
Just seems a deadly cycle. I don't understand it. Like the need to own a 4 bedroom house, even if you are a single person. With 8 rooms all capable of housing 15 people in each room. But instead use them for your cat, or something. A family of 8 can easily live in a 400 sq ft house. And the need to own 1-2 cars? Why not take a bus, ride a bike, walk? There are Americans that have cars, but no food! That is a strange confusion of priorities. Or they will spend $50 on lunch, and cannot pay their gas bill. Just different cultural values I guess. But I don't get it...
Don't even start on credit. Why would anyone want to get into that evil trap?
And I am not good online. So I am not meaning to offend.
Couldn't agree with you more, Helga... Americans' consumerism is mostly very foolish and wasteful...
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) My first response is, why say that like it's a criticism? Independence is a good thing! 
