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I don't get the "15 people in each room" comment. No. That is way too overcrowded, for health and sanitary purposes.
8 people in a 400 sq ft house? How? Still, stacking people up like that is not healthy.
I can understand some f your reasoning helga, but not all of it is even applicable here in the USA. Where do you live that society lives like that?
BTW-400 sq ft is twice the size of what we normally rent. And we are a family of 6. Can't see needing more than 200 sq ft, honestly...
I'm sure many would. Others wouldn't and everyone's happy with the arrangement.
Independence can be a great virtue and it can be a stressful, dysfunctional existence. Living in a multi-generational household can be a great virtue and can be a stressful, dysfunctional existence.
Why is one more fortunate than the other? Why is one "better?" Isn't it up to the individual?
What I really don't get is all the fuss about it. The only people who should be fussing are the older parents whose children mooch off them.
People who make up their minds about people based on group stereotypes really don't seem to care about the truth, in my opinion.
I agree with you. So much of whether something is good or bad or right or wrong (probably most of it) is purely subjective. All this talk about independence (or lack thereof) or living at home with parents or being out on your own as being absolutely good or bad is absurd (in my opinion). People are different. What works for one person, may not not work for someone else. What is appropriate for one family, may be inappropriate for another family. But too often people (when critiquing something or someone else) get too carried away with injecting their own personal views, values and opinions into the critique, which turns the critique itself into a simple opinion (not based on any objective fact) that is irrelevant and often times mean-spirited. And that is ok (at least the opinion part), since we are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs. But opinions and beliefs are not necessarily facts, but often people will act as if their version of reality or what they think is the appropriate version of reality is the ONLY one that matters; or, that their version is more right than the next person's. Too much personal bias and often times ego gets in the way and gives some people the sense that their way is the right way just because.
Live and let live. I may think that your lifestyle or living arrangement is ridiculous or abnormal, but as long as your lifestyle or living arrangement doesn't negatively impact me directly, what business is it of mine to worry about how you live or with whom you live?
Last edited by AnthonyJ34; 03-26-2016 at 12:38 PM..
Reason: grammar
I'm sure many would. Others wouldn't and everyone's happy with the arrangement.
Independence can be a great virtue and it can be a stressful, dysfunctional existence. Living in a multi-generational household can be a great virtue and can be a stressful, dysfunctional existence.
Why is one more fortunate than the other? Why is one "better?" Isn't it up to the individual?
What I really don't get is all the fuss about it. The only people who should be fussing are the older parents whose children mooch off them.
People who make up their minds about people based on group stereotypes really don't seem to care about the truth, in my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyJ34
I agree with you. So much of whether something is good or bad or right or wrong (probably most of it) is purely subjective. All this talk about independence (or lack thereof) or living at home with parents or being out on your own as being absolutely good or bad is absurd (in my opinion). People are different. What works for one person, may not not work for someone else. What is appropriate for one family, may be inappropriate for another family. But too often people (when critiquing something or someone else) get too carried away with injecting their own personal views, values and opinions into the critique, which turns the critique itself into a simple opinion (not based on any objective fact) that is irrelevant and often times mean-spirited. And that is ok (at least the opinion part), since we are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs. But opinions and beliefs are not necessarily facts, but often people will act as if their version of reality or what they think is the appropriate version of reality is the ONLY one that matters; or, that their version is more right than the next person's. Too much personal bias and often times ego gets in the way and gives some people the sense that their way is the right way just because.
Live and let live. I may think that your lifestyle or living arrangement is ridiculous or abnormal, but as long as your lifestyle or living arrangement doesn't negatively impact me directly, what business is it of mine to worry about how you live or with whom you live?
I agree with both of you . . . and I am the OP who started this thread. Whatever I am stating in this thread about this issue is just purely PERSONAL PREFERENCE (i.e., just sharing how I see the matter from my own self-applicable perspective if I were to contemplate or be compelled to take the same life direction myself as such other persons who do so). That is, outside of wondering about the issue in this thread and how it would be thought of by myself for myself, I would never ever say anything about it to anyone else who lives with his or her parents as a way-of-life or nearly so and am not trying to change them. My opinions stated in this thread may seem stark and somewhat strong but these are just opinions about how it would be like for me if I had to live with my parents as a way-of-life. Outside of sharing these views (as it applies to myself) in this thread, these are only thoughts that I keep to myself (i.e., with the summation of my thoughts on the matter being that I myself had no desire to make a way-of-life out of living with one or both of my parents except to be a caretaker for one or both of them if that time came to be . . . but then again, know that my parents, with whatever virtues they had or may have had, were not the most amenable people to live with and to then, at the same time, maintain my self-dignity while always living under the same roof as them). But I am NOT here (nor anywhere else in life) to try to change anyone else's thinking about their own living arrangements and am not going to be preachy with them about it. And that is because, in the big picture of life, my preferences and choices about how and where to live are no better nor worse than anyone else's; they are simply right for my own particular life and how it is lived. Out there in the world-at-large, everyone else can decide what living arrangements are best for or otherwise tolerable-enough for themselves and they won't hear anything from me about it one way or the other.
In fact (with my parents now both deceased), there are times when I have found myself imagining what it would have been like to have parents who were always respectful, amenable, enriching, preserving of my self-dignity and esteem, et al and that, if I were independently very well-to-do and established in my own identity and career life and had a large house and property of various acres and was married, that my parent(s) and even my wife's parent(s) could live on the same property (perhaps in one or two separate cottages or bungalows on the same property) and we can all be one big happy extended family. Maybe even a few other relatives could be there too for an even more extended happy family. But alas, such was not to come to be for me. Some of you in this thread are fortunate to have parents and families that you can even contemplate living with and not have it subsume you and reduce you as a person.
I'm one of those people. At the time, I never saw a need to leave my grandparents home as I was in undergrad and grad school. I had a relatively good paying job, but I wanted to be close to home for my grandparents. When they died, I inherited their home in my old neighborhood (which I rent out, one of the nicely kept homes, even though the location is in Jacksonville's Northside ghetto). After my grandparents died, I used the equity on their home to buy my own home.
I think jobs and TV and wars--moved people away from those family knit communities.
I think the notion that 18 year olds are adults or old enough to live on their own (college, military) moved people away from family knit communities.
In reality, obviously, that is too young and many families/children could benefit from staying a few years longer in the house much like most other countries where it's common.
I left home at 20, while I was more than happy to live on my own. There where many things that my parents did not teach me before leaving.
I know a couple of families with a brother/sister duo who are in their 40's & 50's and never moved away. Whatever works for them...it's no one else's business.
It actually makes a great deal of good sense -- socially, financially, practically -- for families to cohabitate (albeit with private spaces). It's only because America is so ridiculously, excessively wealthy -- even if welfare is paying for it -- for every man, woman, and child to have his or her own separate apartment or house. IMHO, that's what's "abnormal"...
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I know of none that are not facing some kind of mental challenge. I do know several that are perfectly capable but moved back for a time, due to financial reasons, but then left again after finding successful careers.
My poor brother... turns 61 this summer. College educated but not motivated, passive, quiet & a severe lack of confidence. He has a decent job but with zero benefits. Mom is 91 & he chauffeur's her around when needed & she does the housework, works for them.
Also my best friend during my teenage years had an employed older brother who was more outgoing & less passive than my brother but also never moved out of mom's (a widow) house, perhaps as the oldest he felt obligated? Mom was from the old country & was an old school housewife still cooking meals from the old country.
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