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What's the psychology behind people who literally need to text constantly and be on the phone for hours describing every single aspect of their lives - even people who obviously aren't lonely because they have tons of other friends they're doing this to besides you?
I am so frustrated right now. I have one semi-friend (she's generally flaky) who texts me constantly - my husband I jokingly call her my wife - and lately she has started this thing where she calls me and she literally wants to talk for hours. I can't even get a word in edgewise to try to segue into "well, I should be going..." It gets so I get resentful, even angry (I don't show her this, though). Eventually I HAVE to break into what she sees as high drama (it is all high drama...all...she even gave a whole drama behind finding boxes to shred for Earth Day...I'm not kidding) to tell her I'm going and she then sounds offended that I interrupted her in the middle of something SO IMPORTANT.
My sister is just like this too. Literal diarrhea of the mouth. ABOUT NOTHING! Shut up! I avoid her calls because of this and then she gets in digs on FB or whatever about never hearing from me. WTF! I don't have TWO HOURS to GASP appropriately as you tell me the amazing wonders of the coffee you had this morning and how you SPILLED SOME!!!!!!!!! Oh dear!
I literally just let my friend talk for 15 minutes (I timed it) WITHOUT answering with one single word or even sound and she didn't stop. She didn't even notice that for all she knew I had had a heart attack, dropped the phone and was lying dead on my kitchen floor or something. She then actually asked me a question about me. (Whaat?) She asked whether I do my work before the kids get home. I told her, "I try to, when there aren't interruptions. When there are, I am forced to keep working after they get home and they just have to sit around inside the house...it really cuts into my time with them." She said "Oh" and went on talking.
What's the story about this diarrhea of the mouth thing? Does anyone have this issue with a friend or family member? What do you do about it? Why would a person pretty much literally not even care whom s/he is talking to as long as s/he is able to just talk and talk and talk? I did notice not long ago that I actually answered my sister just one time when she asked how I was. Usually I just tell her everything is fine because I know she's only asking as a technicality. Well, this particular time I answered with something that was legitimately going on in my life...it took probably 90 seconds...she was DEAD silent and then immediately changed the subject as if annoyed that I made it all about me. For a minute and a half.
Actually, my father-in-law is like this too. He's a wonderful guy but he talks sllllllllllllllllllllllowly...and for hours if you let him. He will literally tell you in this DMV Sloth from Zootopia voice about how a certain highway was built from a specific trail, what the politics were of getting the highway built and how it made traffic X percent faster...or he'll talk for 20 minutes about one specific restaurant he want to.
What is up???
Last edited by JerZ; 04-13-2016 at 12:43 PM..
Reason: Sorry...Zootopia, not Zoolandia. :)
The people I've experienced in this way are just incredibly self centered. I either cut them out entirely or severely limit my time with them, don't answer the phone, don't give any feedback, etc. Sooner or later they move on.
Actually, my father-in-law is like this too. He's a wonderful guy but he talks sllllllllllllllllllllllowly...and for hours if you let him.
My sister in law talks slow too and in such a whining voice that it could drive a person insane. She's another non stop talker and it's always about her and her feelings. Someone offended her, or did something to upset her and she want's to talk about to death.
Call waiting is great in situations like that. Even if no one is trying to call me, I just interrupt her and say 'someone's beeping in, hold on'.. and then I put her on hold... then I pick up and say 'oops, gotta take this. I'll call you later'..
Yump. Meet them often and used to have a lot of naivete when it came to listening. Then I got smart.
Personally I believe it.s deeper than self-centeredness. I believe it is paired with emotional detachment, some mental illness, poor boundaries and lonliness and/or some combo thereof.
It shows a lack of respect or caring for the other person and is just so classless. I beat feet and don.t even acknowledge and after awhile they find another victim.
The repeating of **** you just told me yesterday and how you button your pants and other senseless nonsense gets to me too. I lately been saying "yep yep you just told me that" and change the subject to something more interesting to talk about.
I just cannot stand to be on the phone for 4 hours anymore. I had a suicidal acquaintance that would take me telephone hostage 3x day and vowed to stay away from that life or death drama that I.m not qualified to deal with.
Compulsive talkers know what they're doing. They know people are sick of them, but they don't care. It's all about them getting their (excessive) needs met at the cost of your patience. They depend on your politeness and will take advantage of it EVERY TIME.
Be direct, be forceful about ending the conversation (or rude, if need be), and avoid them when you can. There is no other way to deal with these energy leeches.
I am a talkative person. I am the one who makes small talk at the water cooler and suddenly it has been 10 minutes. I also have a lot of introverted friends. I also like quiet time (I am an avid reader).
I like to talk about experiences, stuff, society and talk about stuff with others. The other thread mentioned externally processing things. That is probably part of it. I also like to be social.
I rarely make phone calls. I like to think I read the cues for when people want to end the convo. I like to listen to other people as well. It goes both ways for me.
One thing that is funny is my introverted sister loves to say I talk too much. But when I call her, or we spend time together she does most of the talking. After 20 minutes of verbal diarrhea she'll complain if that I have t responded in the "right" way. Then she'll go, oh I am talking too much. And start again. And then disengage if I say a few things when she is one of her talkative moods. It is funny. She will never admit that she monopolizes the conversation. No one else has a chance to get a word in.
A friend is like this as well. And she repeats the same stories. I try not to zone out when that happens.
These introverts are talkative. And I am supposed to be the chatterbox.
i am a talkative person. I am the one who makes small talk at the water cooler and suddenly it has been 10 minutes. I also have a lot of introverted friends. I also like quiet time (i am an avid reader).
I like to talk about experiences, stuff, society and talk about stuff with others. The other thread mentioned externally processing things. That is probably part of it. I also like to be social.
I rarely make phone calls. I like to think i read the cues for when people want to end the convo. I like to listen to other people as well. It goes both ways for me.
One thing that is funny is my introverted sister loves to say i talk too much. But when i call her, or we spend time together she does most of the talking. After 20 minutes of verbal diarrhea she'll complain if that i have t responded in the "right" way. Then she'll go, oh i am talking too much. And start again. And then disengage if i say a few things when she is one of her talkative moods. It is funny. She will never admit that she monopolizes the conversation. No one else has a chance to get a word in.
A friend is like this as well. And she repeats the same stories. I try not to zone out when that happens.
These introverts are talkative. And i am supposed to be the chatterbox.
"i" . . . .
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