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I agree that these statements are manipulative, and passive aggressive.
Since I don't know who is making these statements to you, it is hard to know how to advise you. But, you can stop the conversation and/or visit when they start, and leave. Cut a phone conversation short if you are on the phone. Ignore a text.
In other words give no feedback to these statements and cut the interaction short.
If this is a spouse, get marriage counseling, because you both need it.
But also typical of coming from a young (immature) person who is infatuated with you, or a spouse who doesn't have much of a life and is desperately clinging to you because they have nothing else and are terrified of being alone.
Mature, healthy relationships generally come from both partners being fulfilled in a variety of ways--from friends, other family, careers, hobbies, etc. Counseling of course would be the best way to make a relationship like this continue, with the hope that both parties are able to learn from the advice and change any behavior that is making the situation worse.
Thanks for these thoughtful responses! Luckily I am not directly involved with this person. I sit on the sidelines and feel ineffective for not being able to offer more support and help.
The recipient/target is very close to me, and frequently comes to me, to both vent AND ask for advice. I have watched the ups and downs for years now, and nothing ever changes. From everything I've read, it sounds like a really extreme case of Borderline personality disorder, so I just keep reading, and trying to offer support. There are wild episodes of rage, where things are broken. There is alcohol, drug dependency, childhood abuse, threats of suicide. The good parts of this person are spectacular. Gifted, efficient, talented, attractive, competent, highly knowledgeable in many areas. It's just so darned sad. I have suggested better counselling, over and over and over again. One incompetent therapist has left this person believing that all therapists are bad.
I just feel it's going to have a bad ending and hate that there's nothing I can do. Except to keep telling myself it's not my circus and not my monkeys.
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