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I'm 18 years old, I'm very emotionally depressed for 4 years because of my mother. I am about to start college in 38 days sad to say that she picks out my classes that I'm not interested in, I told her that I can pick any classes I wanted that's related to what I'm trying to become then she gets angry telling me that I'm gonna waste my time on this career that I'm not smart enough to ever be one. She tells me what I can be or what I can't not be, I always wanted to be a cop ever since I was 7 years old she doesn't accept me that I wanted to become a cop she said if I ever became one that she'll disown me I don't know what to do I tried to talk too her and tell her that it's my choice I can make my own decisions but she gets mad and tell me that I won't ever be what I want to be. She keeps me locked up inside her house I can't ever go out anywhere she tells me to cut off all of my friends, she tells me who to not talk too she doesn't care. It feels like I'm in prison. I have 3 phones secretly to keep in contact with my boyfriend that I've been dating for 2 years our relationship is great but my mom doesn't like him she hates him because he made mistakes in his life he made bad decisions but he learned from it well everyone isn't perfect we all make mistakes in life and she told me to not ever have any contacts with him again and to not see him again for 5 months I've been talking to him on the down low yesterday I've got caught with 2 of my phone's I got it tooken away I'm down to 1 phone left sad to say she's been reading my messages between him and me she called him to leave me alone then they both got into a fight I've never hated my own mother this much it's none of her business I can talk to whoever I want . She never lets me put on makeup every time when I do she takes away all my makeup. My grandma hates me so much saying I am a bad person for talking to my boyfriend my mom told me to never talk to her anymore I live in a home that everybody hates me I feel alone locked in my room. When I was 15 I got physically abused my father all because of the friends I used to hang out with at school my mom was sitting in the room she watched me while I got beated she never stopped it from happening she told him more bad things and the mistakes that I've made at that point I never forgave her until now I still hated her. Every time I'm depressed because of her I always tried to talk too her how I feel and told her she was the reason why she told me don't blame her for how of a bad life that I have and that she doesn't care. I've been so depressed crying in my room I have lost all my sleep In a week I'd probably have 21 hours of rest in 7 days of the week a night she's became a worst nightmare. She has a fiance now he lives with us all she does is care about him and gives him what he wants, He stopped talking to me for 8-9 months because I never talk too my own mom or him. Apparently everybody in the house hates me. Every day I always wake up to my grandma bringing me down for almost 2 years saying that I'm a loser and that I won't ever be normal like everybody else saying that I'm a failure in my life that I can dream all I want to become what I want to be but that won't ever happen saying I'm worthless and everybody hates me and I'm ugly. My mom never talks to me she walks around the house acting stuck up every time when I talk to her I would always get a respond back "Ok " Yeah " Idk" In a attitude way. I was expecting her to change for a few months already but I always lose my hope then it never happens. My boyfriend has been the only person who's been there for me who would always provided me food and provided me things that my mom doesn't and always talked to me whenever I was down our relationship is great we've never broke up, he's 19. I was thinking to move in with him to never have any contacts with my mother anymore I just want to move on I've been allowing myself to get very hurt because of her and my grandma I just need to moge on and be happy with the only life that I have I've told her that yesterday she was upset she told me if anything happens or if I ever leave to never step one foot in the house or else she'll get a restricted order on me.
Carraige returns.........now I can read it.
I'm 18 years old, I'm very emotionally depressed for 4 years because of my mother. I am about to start college in 38 days sad to say that she picks out my classes that I'm not interested in, I told her that I can pick any classes I wanted that's related to what I'm trying to become then she gets angry telling me that I'm gonna waste my time on this career that I'm not smart enough to ever be one. She tells me what I can be or what I can't not be, I always wanted to be a cop ever since I was 7 years old she doesn't accept me that I wanted to become a cop she said if I ever became one that she'll disown me I don't know what to do I tried to talk too her and tell her that it's my choice I can make my own decisions but she gets mad and tell me that I won't ever be what I want to be.
She keeps me locked up inside her house I can't ever go out anywhere she tells me to cut off all of my friends, she tells me who to not talk too she doesn't care. It feels like I'm in prison. I have 3 phones secretly to keep in contact with my boyfriend that I've been dating for 2 years our relationship is great but my mom doesn't like him she hates him because he made mistakes in his life he made bad decisions but he learned from it well everyone isn't perfect we all make mistakes in life and she told me to not ever have any contacts with him again and to not see him again for 5 months I've been talking to him on the down low yesterday I've got caught with 2 of my phone's I got it tooken away I'm down to 1 phone left sad to say she's been reading my messages between him and me she called him to leave me alone then they both got into a fight I've never hated my own mother this much it's none of her business I can talk to whoever I want .
She never lets me put on makeup every time when I do she takes away all my makeup. My grandma hates me so much saying I am a bad person for talking to my boyfriend my mom told me to never talk to her anymore I live in a home that everybody hates me I feel alone locked in my room. When I was 15 I got physically abused my father all because of the friends I used to hang out with at school my mom was sitting in the room she watched me while I got beated she never stopped it from happening she told him more bad things and the mistakes that I've made at that point I never forgave her until now I still hated her. Every time I'm depressed because of her I always tried to talk too her how I feel and told her she was the reason why she told me don't blame her for how of a bad life that I have and that she doesn't care.
I've been so depressed crying in my room I have lost all my sleep In a week I'd probably have 21 hours of rest in 7 days of the week a night she's became a worst nightmare. She has a fiance now he lives with us all she does is care about him and gives him what he wants, He stopped talking to me for 8-9 months because I never talk too my own mom or him. Apparently everybody in the house hates me. Every day I always wake up to my grandma bringing me down for almost 2 years saying that I'm a loser and that I won't ever be normal like everybody else saying that I'm a failure in my life that I can dream all I want to become what I want to be but that won't ever happen saying I'm worthless and everybody hates me and I'm ugly. My mom never talks to me she walks around the house acting stuck up every time when I talk to her I would always get a respond back "Ok " Yeah " Idk" In a attitude way.
I was expecting her to change for a few months already but I always lose my hope then it never happens. My boyfriend has been the only person who's been there for me who would always provided me food and provided me things that my mom doesn't and always talked to me whenever I was down our relationship is great we've never broke up, he's 19. I was thinking to move in with him to never have any contacts with my mother anymore I just want to move on I've been allowing myself to get very hurt because of her and my grandma I just need to moge on and be happy with the only life that I have I've told her that yesterday she was upset she told me if anything happens or if I ever leave to never step one foot in the house or else she'll get a restricted order on me.
If you don't like her rules, then move out and live on your own. Work 2 jobs if you need to so you can afford the independence. Your life is just beginning, find your passion (even police officer if that's it) and as long as you can make a living doing it, GO FOR IT. ALL OF US at one time or another have lived their lives to please their parents. Then we get to a point of our own lives taking priority and we set our own path to OUR future. Now is YOUR time to do it. Seize the day and most importantly, ENJOY THE RIDE !!!!!!
How can you afford 3 phones ? Rather than hate your mother and grandmother, I find it healthier to feel sorry for them. Go enjoy and build a great life for yourself. You don't have to stop contact with your mother, you just need to create your own rules for how you are going to interact with her. Get out on your own for a year before you consider moving in with a boyfriend. Find a girl roommate if needed.
Also, please learn to write better. Your bad punctuation makes it very very hard to understand you.
As said above, you are an adult and should be able to determine your life choices. At the same time if you are financially dependent on your family you should understand that strings come attached to the finances.
You have to deal with it one way or another, move out and get your own residence, get a job, make your own life choices. Unfortunately this limits your educational benefits unless you go to a community college and are willing to attend school and work a job to support yourself at the same time, very difficult.
Welcome to being an adult. You have adult sized problems and you will have to use adult skills to find an optimum solution. You must either negotiate dealing with your family if you can, or may have to break away and find your own way in life.
I moved out of my parents' house when I was barely 17 years old, taking only what I could carry. I moved 4 states away, got an apartment and a job.
If you want it bad enough, make it happen.
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