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Like newcomputer I zeroed in on your thyroid comment. I had the similar experience in midlife and what a mess it was!
After a lot of doctoring and fails I went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester where it was discovered I had a tumor of the thyroid. After surgery many symptoms came back and they followed through with surgery for the parathyroids. The frustrating part was how many times I was told it was attitude, midlife crisis, etc.
Even I was convinced it was my family that was driving me crazy. At Mayo I was relieved to see how many women my age were having the same experience.
I did both - the medical and the psychological fixer-upper. Never underestimate the psychological damage an endocrine system gone awry can do.
I'd suggest a complete workup and then look to counseling if the problem isn't solved. Doesn't hurt to do some reading on what we used to call "midlife crisis" as well. It's a very real thing.
A book that helped me put it into perspective was: Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life by Gail Sheehy.
I am so miserable everyday. I hate my job, my husband has no interest in me.
I'm old (almost 43) no kids so no purpose (as I always hear from friends who think the only purpose is to have kids). The only thing that keeps me somewhat functioning each day is walking 2 or 3 miles and/or 30 minute on the elliptical. I've tried meds nothing works. Talking to someone doesn't help either.
I don't know how much longer I can handle this. Everyday all I feel is anger. I used to feel like crying but I have trouble even doing that anymore. I feel so ugly (even though I've always been told I'm pretty) I always put on makeup but now just do it so people don't ask if I'm sick. I'm on thyroid meds, cholesterol meds and just feel old and sick and depressed and hate everything.
So stop already. Take that anger and turn it into fuel to make changes. Quit blaming other people for your unhappiness. Happiness and unhappiness are both choices; they are generated by your inner self-talk. If you don't like your situation, figure out what you want and start making steps toward that. Don't sit there on your haunches and moan. BE the change you want in your life.
What don't you like about your job? What do you WANT from it? If you can get those things from your current employer, talk to them about your aspirations -- don't complain, just tell them where you see a need for your services and tell them you want to do THAT. If they cannot offer what you want, or if you are unqualified -- get qualified and find where you can do it.
Husband uninterested? Or tired of listening to you complain? Take the advice I just gave about your job, and apply it to your marriage. You are NOT old. (I am sixty-one and I am not old.) If you cannot find a way to be happily married with your spouse, ask yourself if you would be happier without him and then make the necessary actions toward that happiness.
Quit thinking that happiness is an outside job. I am pretty sure you are not ugly, but just crave other's continued praise. Stop that. I have seen MANY women in my life that would not make the cover of Glamour magazine that were absolutely beautiful because they were doing what they loved doing and radiated self-assurance, and were more interested in others than in themselves. Be THAT person.
Finally, judging from the meds you've described, I think you might consider ramping up on that exercise program. Find a coach and a workout buddy, get your diet analyzed and change it.
Be the person you are meant to be because the person you seem to be now isn't working for you.
Don't negate people suggestions for her to go see a doctor and try some medication. I could've written this post, actually thought about it today. I woke up with such overwhelming depression I cannot even explain it, I've never felt this way before. I've suffered depression on and off my entire life but nothing like this. Just to get myself out of bed it was torture, to eat a meal this morning was exhausting, the very thought of having to walk outside to water the plants was so overwhelming. The thought of going on with my life was questionable.
People who've never suffered from this do not truly understand how difficult a simple act can be. Please don't compare people's lives everyone has a different tolerance for what affects and what doesn't affect them. Yes I can control my life, yes I can change it, but mentally I am unable to do so if you've never experienced this is something that cannot be explained. Please watch this video, perfect visual.
I totally understand where you're coming from. Yes some people have a chemical imbalance and need medication to correct it. My friend depended on a pill to "fix" her misery. It didn't work because that was not the problem. Her environment was the problem. She finally told her husband that she wasn't going to stay in the house and die with him. She wanted to live, and she does her own thing now, which has done more for her then a pill. Pills can correct physical symptoms, but you still have to do the work.
The problem you described can only be fix by yourself. You should be the one that control your emotion, instead, you let your emotion control you. All experience you went through in life are base on how you perceive it and interpret it. Look at a kid, their interpretation of anything and everything is always funny and they don't care if is dumb or stupid. Why does a kid could be so happy regardless of what they do? Simple, they never care so much. Because you care so much about everything, such as how people would look at you, what people would say about you, what you need to do to allow others to accept you. Along the way in life, you lost yourself somewhere simply by trying to meet everyone's expectation.
At this age, is about time for you to do something what you enjoy. Ignore anything that would bother you, and think about what you can do throughout the day, such as what you want to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Think about what kind of hobbies that you may want to get into. Think about what you can contribute to this society to solve some problem.
The world is never about any of us, we don't even exist as an individual person. The only reason we acknowledge our existence simply due to what our organs tell us the existence of our flesh and blood. It is the energy in ourselves that makes everyone of us determine that we actually exist. Of course, I am not denying that we do exist, but there's higher level of existence.
I am so miserable everyday. I hate my job, my husband has no interest in me.
I'm old (almost 43) no kids so no purpose (as I always hear from friends who think the only purpose is to have kids). The only thing that keeps me somewhat functioning each day is walking 2 or 3 miles and/or 30 minute on the elliptical. I've tried meds nothing works. Talking to someone doesn't help either.
I don't know how much longer I can handle this. Everyday all I feel is anger. I used to feel like crying but I have trouble even doing that anymore. I feel so ugly (even though I've always been told I'm pretty) I always put on makeup but now just do it so people don't ask if I'm sick. I'm on thyroid meds, cholesterol meds and just feel old and sick and depressed and hate everything.
Sounds like a lot of this emanates from you believing that what everyone else says about you or does (or does not do) to you defines who you are. What if it were you that defined who you were, and if you were not required to consult public opinion, nor validate its consensus? There are good grounds for this. Humanity is stupid, and the bigger the group the stupider it gets. Don't believe me? Take a look at the world, in which there is more than sufficient for everyone, and room for everyone to live how s/he wants, and we still have starvation and warfare and environmental destruction. You're letting these idiots be your jury? You need a better advocate for yourself. Your existing one has sold out to the opposition.
And you aren't old, young lady. You haven't earned that. You are of middle age. I'm nearing 54, and I'm not old yet; thus you cannot be. Kindly mind your elders.
I once felt that way and my friends had an intervention!!!
I got on an anti-depressant pronto!!!!
Their trick worked...'Hey, if you don't like it after a couple months ..just quit it.'
I was on it for 6 months...now I'm normal and happy again.
Ok, that was 20 yrs ago, but still....
There are some surprising studies out there. IE altered thyroid activity was found in women with PTSD, Battered person syndrome, PTSD associated with childhood sexual abuse....
Those of you saying "just do this" "just do that" have never experienced depression at this level. It can be near impossible to force oneself to do something different, begin another program, go to the dr. Everything feels like a huge mountain in front.
OP, just focus on doing ONE thing. Make sure your health is ok and treated successfully. I know it's hard to just make that appointment, go to the dr. and follow through. Thyroid problems alone make one feel so tired. Make sure the proper tests are done and your meds are correct.
Anger is a symptom of depression. I used to think I was just angry, not depressed until I learned better. Now I know if I'm feeling angry, I'm usually depressed too. Good luck, some of us really understand.
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