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Read a course in Miracles or Marianne Williamson's take on it
A miracle is just a shift in one's perspective. So, yes, you can change.
That book helped my wife too who is sensitive. Just the concept of basing decisions on love vs fear has helped me live a much more fear free life.
So I definitely agree about a shift in perspective helping. And if that book doesn't help, I would say continue searching for something that resonates.
It's too bad that self-help often has a stigma in this country. Why would anyone not want to improve themselves? Instead, people like the ones bullying the OP suppress their feelings and shortcomings and try to take it out on others. It's Eckhart Tolle's description of the painbody but I would describe as emotional baggage that people try to unload onto others instead of trying to help themselves.
OP, I'm not at all oversensitive, and I think those people you describe are hurtful. Unless, you're all trading shots at one another as groups of guys will do, and you deliver a few shots yourself. One thought, I knew a guy that took a couple mean barbs his way in a group...All he countered with was, "that's not very nice." And walked away. It was powerful.
In general, I think of oversensitive people in one of two ways.
One, they can be sharp witted themselves but when it comes back around are hurt.
Otherwise, I find it a symptom of self-centeredness. Meaning, they are hurt that plans got cancelled, and take it personally, and don't consider that outside factors influence the other person.
my opinion on oversensitive people... they lived in their box too much, throw them out into the world where they are exposed to a lot of other people, many ideas, and conflicting culture
put them out of their comfort level and they learn to not be over sensitive since they become desensitized to no one caring about their personal views
Did you read the entire post? OP's co-workers are imitating him and laughing at him. You can be the most open, worldly person in this world, but other people mocking you is still insulting and hurts.
I have gone to numerous therapists and they always say stuff like "use positive self-talk" or "you choose how you feel, so tell yourself that these comments don't matter and you will get over it". It doesn't work most of the time
Of course it doesn't work. This is pure BS. You cannot help how you feel. You feel an emotion whether you want to or not. It just comes and you feel it. If it were possible to CHOOSE how you feel, why would anyone ever choose to feel hurt, anger, jealousy, guilt, rejection, and other bad emotions?
Confront the behavior even once or twice and most people will get the message and stop acting like idiots to you. Even feeling ready to confront them comes across to them before you say a word, and many of them will smell it and never try it around you again.
Of course it doesn't work. This is pure BS. You cannot help how you feel. You feel an emotion whether you want to or not. It just comes and you feel it. If it were possible to CHOOSE how you feel, why would anyone ever choose to feel hurt, anger, jealousy, guilt, rejection, and other bad emotions?
Look into cognitive behavioral therapy. It's all about working to change the way your mind thinks, changing how you respond in situations, etc., which can be learned.
Just one simple example - if you start thinking something like, "Joe thinks I'm an idiot." You can use the "fact check" technique, where you think, or start writing in a journal, about if the facts back up that idea. So, does Joe really think you're an idiot? Wait, didn't Joe tell you many times how you often come up with good ideas, and/or that he really admires how good you are at something? So, okay, the facts don't back up my thinking that Joe thinks I'm an idiot. Therefore, Joe doesn't think I'm an idiot.
So, okay, then, now I am remembering that Joe does not think I am an idiot, and so Joe's snapping at me does not mean that. So, something else is going on with Joe. So, maybe I should go ask Joe how he is.......or whatever.
I'm just trying to show you how the process works.
So, next time Joe snaps at you, maybe you won't immediately start with the "Joe thinks I'm an idiot" thinking, and you'll think something instead like, "Wow, Joe must really be stressed out." And then you'll instead of walking away in a huff when Joe snaps, you'll instead ask him if he's stressed out.
In other words, you'll start thinking whatever is probably not about you. And that's a huge relief. But, it's also hard to do, and takes time and practice. But, it can be done.
So, look up CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and look for a counselor who knows what this is, and can help you with it. It's seriously hugely changed my life for the better.
That might be true in a few instances, but generally most people tend to do whatever they are allowed to get away with. If they start with the teasing or bullying and are able to get away with it once they will continue to do it as long as possible. Most people will stop with their nonsense when their provocation no longer results in the desired reaction.
There are several ways Op can deal with this problem, humor, sarcasm, honesty, intimidation, deflection, etc. He may need to try some of them out until he finds what is comfortable and works for him
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