Why can't some people say no to things?

[michael917]

I think there are several possible reasons.

In some cases, people simply feel like they will offend or upset the person inviting them if they say no.

In other cases, people really want to do whatever the invitation is for, but are the type who habitually overbook themselves, and so a last-minute conflict is almost guaranteed.

A third case, the one that annoys me most, is when they accept the invitation immediately, without bothering to check their calendar. In reality, they're already booked solid for that day and time, which of course you'll hear about later. I can't imagine being that disorganized, but many people seem to be.

[Rocko20]

It depends on what it is.

I've seen people who can't say no to shopping, clearly there was some personality disorder at work.

[Luckystrike1]

Originally Posted by mej210390

I've seen countless people say yes to things like favours, work projects/issues, event invitations (parties, social functions, etc) and many more things like that only for them to cancel at the last minute which makes me wonder why some of these people don't just say no in the first place??? what is it about some individuals that make them say yes when they really should be saying no??? just wondering???

I think in some cases people are on the fence because saying "maybe" wouldn't cut it. So they say 'yes' with their hearts in the right place but it backfires because it wasn't that important when the time came. Others may say no to avoid having to explain why ~ understandable, but not fair.

But I do know that some people simply do not know how to stick to a plan. I've dealt with this from a few friends and family members, and most of the time I did not handle it well. One of my brothers invited himself to go along with us on a trip, which took extra planning on my part, and a month before it was due he backed out because "he couldn't get into it". I have told him that he blew his chance for always and I meant it.

[michael917]

Originally Posted by Luckystrike1

But I do know that some people simply do not know how to stick to a plan. I've dealt with this from a few friends and family members, and most of the time I did not handle it well. One of my brothers invited himself to go along with us on a trip, which took extra planning on my part, and a month before it was due he backed out because "he couldn't get into it". I have told him that he blew his chance for always and I meant it.

This reminds me of the time my uncle's family visited from out of state, bringing his mother-in-law along (six people total). My aunt (who lived with her father) made arrangements to sleep at a friend's house so the gang could have enough space to stay at my grandfather's house. Her friends went out of their way to make up a room for her.

Then my uncle and his crew decided at the last minute that they were going home (a 2.5 hour trip, which they'd already made once that day) because "the kids wanted to." My aunt and her friends were fuming. The story was repeated for years afterward!

[bassetluv]

I guess it depends upon the situation. Someone in a workplace might always say yes to a request, be it from a boss or co-worker, because they want to look good and appease whoever is asking for the favour. They might be feeling insecure in their position, and feel that saying no might jeopardize their good standing in the job, or even in keeping that job.

In a personal relationship, it could be that the person is too afraid to say no to the person's face, for fear of facing either the disappointment the friend will feel, or perhaps anticipating a convoluted discussion that will ensue, with the friend or family member attempting to persuade them to change their mind. In that case, the person who is turning down the request feels they can't stand up for themselves well, and will find backing out at the last minute (usually with a fake excuse) much easier.