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I've seen countless people say yes to things like favours, work projects/issues, event invitations (parties, social functions, etc) and many more things like that only for them to cancel at the last minute which makes me wonder why some of these people don't just say no in the first place??? what is it about some individuals that make them say yes when they really should be saying no??? just wondering???
I've seen countless people say yes to things like favours, work projects/issues, event invitations (parties, social functions, etc) and many more things like that only for them to cancel at the last minute which makes me wonder why some of these people don't just say no in the first place??? what is it about some individuals that make them say yes when they really should be saying no??? just wondering???
Fear.
That sort of fear probably results from a world view that doesnt support their spiritual needs.
Generally speaking, people are social beings. We try to please each other so we can remain connected. Most people want to feel socially attached and not excluded. Consequently, we act in ways that favor social approval.
Sometimes a last-minute cancellation can't be avoided. You should not assume that someone who cancels at the last minute never really wanted to accept the invitation.
Fear.
That sort of fear probably results from a world view that doesnt support their spiritual needs.
Not sure that I'd use the word fear for most people. Instead, I'd say desire....desire to be accepted, desire to be included, desire to be welcomed as a valuable person to have around. Maybe building up social credits that can be cashed in later.
I've seen countless people say yes to things like favours, work projects/issues, event invitations (parties, social functions, etc) and many more things like that only for them to cancel at the last minute which makes me wonder why some of these people don't just say no in the first place??? what is it about some individuals that make them say yes when they really should be saying no??? just wondering???
Social pressure.
Anxiety over not adhering to social expectations.
Avoidance of potential conflict.
Often, you're saying "sure! " face to face, when some, particular those with anxiety, find it harder to decline. But canceling after the fact can be easily done remotely, via text, voicemail, etc. Which is easier for said people.
I hate to say this since I'm probably in the "stupid" category, myself, but it's often the case that we don't think ahead. We just don't calculate the consequences of our behaviors more than a step or two. Very smart people fail to do this. Thinking is hard work and not encouraged in the schools. God forbid people learned to think.
I've seen countless people say yes to things like favours, work projects/issues, event invitations (parties, social functions, etc) and many more things like that only for them to cancel at the last minute which makes me wonder why some of these people don't just say no in the first place??? what is it about some individuals that make them say yes when they really should be saying no??? just wondering???
I think there are various reasons. My fiance has bad ADHD and he forgets things he agreed to do all the time unless I set reminders on his phone.
I do it sometimes. I'm sort of a solitary person and really I like nothing better than being home with my honey and my kitties. But part of me feels like I "should" keep my friendships going and go out more. So I'll agree to go to a group happy hour or something, but then when the day actually comes, it's raining, or I had to work late, or I feel fat, or I'm broke, or any number of things and I just don't feel like going. This happens with Meetups all the time, with many people.
It probably takes years for some people to get to know themselves. I've said Yes so many times in my earlier years and it should have been NO, but I kept learning from these yes/no actions.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 03-16-2018 at 10:39 PM..
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