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That's like every thread. Or it can be. My threads start out civil and I can influence the direction of the thread by how I stay on point. Some trolls are better than others though.
yes, I remember a thread of yours that I walked into blindly and remember how you were treated...I'm very sorry but always remember, for every person who attacks you, there are many who agree with you....
people attack to bully, and to keep others out of the thread who may agree with you, but are now way too frightened to post their thoughts...
and believe me, there are tons of people who might not agree with you, but they disagree with class and come across as very caring people...there is also a whole lot of good here...
I'd block those people who do nothing but disagree with you.
I've done things right by meeting more people and some people still get on me. I just put them on ignore.
Life's too short.
I'm at the point in my life where, I'm not out to win a popularity contest....and I just don't care about what people think of me online, and also, if you (and I don't mean you personally) but if you are so shallow minded to not be able to understand, that, we all own our personal cultures, we were raised to think and believe different ways, you cannot force your opinions and beliefs down the throats of others, and if you try, your not only making it worse for yourself, but worse for the cause, as well.
Just b/c you think one way and I think another, doesn't make you right and me wrong, or me right and you wrong, our thoughts and beliefs, make us who we are....
and I suppose that it why people take offense so quickly, it's not about the fact that your wrong per say, it's the fact that they feel your attacking them....understand?
plus you can't see the person's face your corresponding with, which makes it sometimes difficult to discern what they mean and how they mean it. If that makes any sense?
Unless I am seriously deluding myself, I strive to be pleasant and polite to everyone*. However, here on C-D, it seems that SOME people will often look for hostility even when there is no hostility present, and they will become very hostile (and insulting). I have noticed this not only toward my own posts, but to many other posters, as well -- posters I can rely on being reasonable, nice and pleasant at least 99% of the time will often have very unkind things, imo, said to them in reply. The weird thing is that I don't think that most of the hostile people are trolls, necessarily, but they just seem to enjoy making others feel bad about themselves.
Do you agree or not? And if you do agree, why do you think those people do that?
(And, yes, it is easy to say "just ignore them", but I am the type that takes things to heart, and an unkind comment can spoil the rest of my day -- or at least an hour or so of it.)
*The exception is on Current Events and P&OC forums sometimes, in which I am very opinionated and often blunt, although I try very hard to never be actually insulting to other posters.
This has happened to all of us. You just learn, after awhile, where the safe spaces are. I have found that people resent being disagreed with.
This thread absolutely fascinates me from a psychological perspective.
It will lay dormant for weeks.
Then the same 2-3 posters resurrect it with repetitive complaints and anecdotes of how awful the world is becoming and how unfairly they're treated.
Is there a psychological aspect of this? If someone is so unhappy with a venue, why keep revisiting and then on top of it re-explaining the unhappiness? It's like forcing yourself to keep scraping your knee...just to have the pleasure of ripping the scab off later. Are there elements of martyrdom? Persecution complex?
Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete
Interesting. I just observe the life of an open-ended post like this. It will lay dormant for a long time and then, without provocation,"POP" back to the top with cut-and-paste commentary.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT
You asked why your thread went downhill and posters are trying to point out the reasons. But you want to disagree with those reasons?
I want to point out that your opening post was somewhat vague, especially your first sentence, and your question wasn't entirely clear. Your second post didn't clear things up and by your third post you were getting defensive. Then after you finally clear things up and get to the actual point of your thread you start chiding people. Those people may not have been giving the answers you wanted but they were trying to tell you how to get the advice they thought you were looking for. The bullying in that thread went both ways, and you pretty much set the tone with your responses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi
Check out post #372 of this thread a couple pages back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan123
I totally agree there is no reason to be mean BUT sometimes people who think they are nice actually aren't. There are plenty of people who think they are kind, considerate and open-minded when they're just the opposite. Not everyone has an accurate image of themselves.
I would say, without unnecessary commentary (or adding fuel to the fire) on my part, the above posts speak volumes to the various reasons why and how [/i]we[/i] find ourselves in less than pleasant online discourse. JMHO
i would say, without unnecessary commentary (or adding fuel to the fire) on my part, the above posts speak volumes to the various reasons why and how [/i]we[/i] find ourselves in less than pleasant online discourse. Jmho
yes, I remember a thread of yours that I walked into blindly and remember how you were treated...I'm very sorry but always remember, for every person who attacks you, there are many who agree with you....
people attack to bully, and to keep others out of the thread who may agree with you, but are now way too frightened to post their thoughts...
and believe me, there are tons of people who might not agree with you, but they disagree with class and come across as very caring people...there is also a whole lot of good here...
Thank you for that. I don't feel any type of way about it.
I think C-D is a place where people feel like they can easily come in here and win. That may work on Reddit or some other websites and we have a lot of fun here, as well as a lot of fun at other people's expense, but some people are seriously looking for answers to deep questions. Especially when it comes to where to live, or this city vs that city.
A lot of people get called out on C-D when there are actually people that know what they are talking about. Sooner or later, someone is going to put things into perspective. It is the nature of the internet. A lot of people can't take it so they troll and try to take the heat off of them. That may not have been their intention in the beginning, but that is how things end up in the end.
I've been around too long to lose faith in the internet or lose faith in humanity or anything like that. If I'm not on here I'm on some other site. I know a lot of people that have that stay away from the internet for that reason. Unfortunate but the internet is not the end of the world so I take it with a grain of salt.
Interesting thread - I have been on City Data for years, mainly as an occasional reader/lurker, but not always as a poster. I have to say the crowd is much tougher these days, and is getting tougher every year. I am not sure what happened to C-D, and other places of the net. Where they used to be friendly/inclusive places, they are breeding grounds for arguments. C-D is no exception, and I think maybe there is just an underlying angry sentiment in society where people feel their "safe space" is lashing out at others who are not in lock-step agreement with them. On the other hand, some posters can instigate arguments too. It's like they are seeking a provocative reaction. This forum has provided some solid information for me in the past, and I have tried to help others with relocation information or area information. However, if you linger too long and see arguments fester and posters get out of hand, it can just make a few minutes of trying to repel boredom by passively looking at the internet seem like a huge mistake.
Ha ha, talking to a C-D friend last night and we talk about a few that are relentless and forever picking at me,,pick pick pick...well, I said it's because some just love me so much. Turning things around, they can't stay away from my posts and info. It took some time but I can laugh at the behavior.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 06-06-2018 at 01:59 PM..
I would say, without unnecessary commentary (or adding fuel to the fire) on my part, the above posts speak volumes to the various reasons why and how [/i]we[/i] find ourselves in less than pleasant online discourse. JMHO
I answered Kara's question "Where did I ask why my thread went downhill? (It's not my thread!)" because I remembered that she had asked that very question recently in the course of this thread. I made no other comment on her or anybody else. I find your including me in your list of less than pleasant online discourse interesting, and frankly not particularly pleasant.
Why do people post question threads if they are not open to other viewpoints? The very point of a discussion forum is to gather varying perspectives. They're not all going to ring true for us, but I believe an open mind is essential for personal growth.
Last edited by Debsi; 06-06-2018 at 02:10 PM..
Reason: spacing
I answered Kara's question "Where did I ask why my thread went downhill? (It's not my thread!)" because I remembered that she had asked that very question recently in the course of this thread. I made no other comment on her or anybody else. I find your including me in your list of less than pleasant online discourse interesting, and frankly not particularly pleasant.
Why do people post question threads if they are not open to other viewpoints? The very point of a discussion forum is to gather varying perspectives. They're not all going to ring true for us, but I believe an open mind is essential for personal growth.
I think disagreeing is good, but to get lectured on your decisions and opinions. And told they are nonsense. ummmmm
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