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People don’t care about what they say to me, they even people I’m close to so why should I continue being so nice? Often times, I want to express my feelings or make a sarcastic remark but I hold back in order to prevent people’s feelings from being hurt. I carry a lot of anger inside because of this. I feel people don’t respect me because I am too nice so how do I stop being too nice?
People don’t care about what they say to me, they even people I’m close to so why should I continue being so nice? Often times, I want to express my feelings or make a sarcastic remark but I hold back in order to prevent people’s feelings from being hurt. I carry a lot of anger inside because of this. I feel people don’t respect me because I am too nice so how do I stop being too nice?
I don't think that's a good choice. People really are often mean, and they don't care about how they hurt you. Still, long term I think it's better to chose kindness, and try to remember that if someone says mean things, it's their failing, not yours. It's hard, I know. I am very sensitive and get my feelings hurt pretty easily.
You and my wife. Boy, she can snap at me, but the rest of the world gets a spoonful of sugar (and she's treated like a doormat because of it).
I've been helping her get good at telling me off (lol, not intentionally, but You be i a relationship for nearly 20 years... it happens), slowly she's getting better with annoying co-workers. I mean that the co-workers are already anoying, not that she's annoying them.
Honestly, your "rough" will still be gentle if you're anything like my wife. You'll be hard pressed to hurt anyone's feelings, people will mostly be Confused at the change. Obviously, don't break out into cursing like a sailor, but don't worry about hurting the feelings of those who hurt/anger you. Practice on the next telemarketing call you get.
People don’t care about what they say to me, they even people I’m close to so why should I continue being so nice? Often times, I want to express my feelings or make a sarcastic remark but I hold back in order to prevent people’s feelings from being hurt. I carry a lot of anger inside because of this. I feel people don’t respect me because I am too nice so how do I stop being too nice?
You hold back your comments, OP, because you are taking the high road
I know your feelings, we all do. But you make a choice....go down to their level, or rise above them.
Learning assertive behaviors, not aggressive ones, will help you get more respect.
People don’t care about what they say to me, they even people I’m close to so why should I continue being so nice? Often times, I want to express my feelings or make a sarcastic remark but I hold back in order to prevent people’s feelings from being hurt. I carry a lot of anger inside because of this. I feel people don’t respect me because I am too nice so how do I stop being too nice?
Embrace the nice ...not the anger
11yr in the Marines, 15 yrs in the Army , another 10yrs civilian sector, I still can't be mean.
It's who you are, there are or will be people who appreciate it.
Still I would hope every once in a while you can get some praise for it.
find an outlet for your anger (I prefer to call it frustration)
I put a speed bag up in my garage, after years of practice/frustration venting I can get that thing going as good as a professional boxer....yet...I would never hit anyone.
People don’t care about what they say to me, they even people I’m close to so why should I continue being so nice? Often times, I want to express my feelings or make a sarcastic remark but I hold back in order to prevent people’s feelings from being hurt. I carry a lot of anger inside because of this. I feel people don’t respect me because I am too nice so how do I stop being too nice?
Find your part in all this.
You have a habit of placing yourself in harm's way.
Your anger arises from fear.
What is the underlying fear?
That they will not like you?
If so, why do you need them to like you so much that you put yourself in harm's way.
Are you over relying on other peoples approval.
Approval seeking is a form of dishonesty.
People don’t care about what they say to me, they even people I’m close to so why should I continue being so nice? Often times, I want to express my feelings or make a sarcastic remark but I hold back in order to prevent people’s feelings from being hurt. I carry a lot of anger inside because of this. I feel people don’t respect me because I am too nice so how do I stop being too nice?
This is the worst Idea I have read about in ages!
I'd suggest the following.....
1. Don't change much...unless it is purely your insecurity that is hurting you (chip on shoulder).
2. Avoidance and Quiet are under-rated - stay away from those who really don't have much to offer - this is true whether they are related to you or not (with possible exceptions for parents and children in need).
One cannot change their basic human nature. It's best to try and use your gifts to your advantage than to try and become like lesser people.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,635 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50665
OP, can you be clearer about what you're talking about? With a couple examples?
In my crowd, you don't get taken advantage of if you're "too nice". And you'll get shunned if you're prickery and sarcastic. Because there's no need to be.
I've been in other crowds, when I was younger, where if you don't show a side of yourself that you can be a little tough and combative, yes, you'll be taken advantage of.
Get out of that crowd and in to a better one.
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