Why are some people afraid of being alone? (introversion, issues, relationship)

[sweetdreams2013]

Originally Posted by hawk101

Humans as a rule in nature weren't designed to live solo , we were designed to have a mate for life, breed and have a family and tribe.
A lot of bird species mate for life and with some if one dies chances are the other one will too soon after, broken heart.
So it's no wonder a lot of people living alone miss true companionship.

What gave you this idea besides ideology?

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by hawk101

Humans as a rule in nature weren't designed to live solo , we were designed to have a mate for life, breed and have a family and tribe.
A lot of bird species mate for life and with some if one dies chances are the other one will too soon after, broken heart.
So it's no wonder a lot of people living alone miss true companionship.

I get real sick of this “no man is an island” garbage people pass around. I’ve been alone most 99% of my life. I’m doing fine, I don’t need a ing companion. I’d like one ideally but Diss is fine doing life solo because he is used to it.

People get afraid of being alone being of hundreds of years of socializing that if you are alone you have failed. Plain and simple.

[gazzaa2]

Originally Posted by hawk101

Humans as a rule in nature weren't designed to live solo , we were designed to have a mate for life, breed and have a family and tribe.
A lot of bird species mate for life and with some if one dies chances are the other one will too soon after, broken heart.
So it's no wonder a lot of people living alone miss true companionship.

If you're talking biology we were designed to mate with as many people as possible to prolong the species. That's where the insatiable male sex drive emanates from. Women were designed to mate with the best possible male (for genetics for their offspring) and men to spread their seed (the biological version of 80/20).

It's mating with just one person for life that is actually unnatural and without strict religious upbringing and beliefs or draconian divorce laws then marriages tend to end. Those strict religious marriage things are there is to stop people giving in to their nature.

The thing is societies and communities are better off with strong family units. From individual point of view you're often going against your nature staying with one person and liberal divorce laws/lack of religion etc leads marriages to end.

[zentropa]

Nothing wrong with being alone. It works out well for older people who have raised families and experienced relationships and sex thoroughly and have moved on to another life stage of complete independence.

However, I don't consider it particularly healthy for a person to go through life having never once experienced physical intimacy or emotional closeness with another person.

[hawk101]

That was just from some docco .
And yeah l also agree with some of the other stuff said here too, blended in with bits and pieces.

[hawk101]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

I get real sick of this “no man is an island” garbage people pass around. I’ve been alone most 99% of my life. I’m doing fine, I don’t need a ing companion. I’d like one ideally but Diss is fine doing life solo because he is used to it.

People get afraid of being alone being of hundreds of years of socializing that if you are alone you have failed. Plain and simple.

Hey , live how you wanna live no skin off my nose.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by zentropa

Nothing wrong with being alone. It works out well for older people who have raised families and experienced relationships and sex thoroughly and have moved on to another life stage of complete independence.

However, I don't consider it particularly healthy for a person to go through life having never once experienced physical intimacy or emotional closeness with another person.

So now I have to have prior experience to opt out of dating and relationships?

Not everyone has a choice of whether they get into a relationship or not. Someone had to actually want you for that to happen. No one wants me right now so I don’t have that choice and I’ve accepted that and tried to make a life on my damn own and will continue to do so.

[SWFL_Native]

It feels natural for me to be in a marriage. If I were alone I’m sure I’d adjust but really I never want to. It’s not about fear more so than companionship. Being a team to help one another in life is far more powerful than just living for yourself.

[Bryant17]

I see by some replies that some think I mean scared to be by yourself, like live alone.

I mean not be in a relationship.

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by RosemaryT

The older you get, the less appealing living alone becomes.

Plus, we're all so very different. As another poster mentioned, I also get a little freaked by every squeak, rattle and noise in the house, but I am a trauma survivor, so I have good reasons for the "exaggerated startle response."

Living alone is great fun if you're young, but I think it loses some appeal as you get older.

Right now, I have a roommate and it's a blessing for both of us. That has been an answer for me.

Ooh, I don't know. In my opinion, the older I get the MORE appealing living alone becomes. Maybe I need to state what "older" means.

To me, in my youth, I was happy living around a lot of people. And that's why college dorms are successful cramming students into small communal living spaces. And by and large they're happy with it.

Older adults (40s) wouldn't stand for that.

And then much older adults, IMHO, in their 70's and beyond, REALLY don't want to be moved from their homes and placed in really luxurious independent living facilities, nor do they want to make new friends and certainly not new romantic companions.