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So go report it to HR. Why do you defend a movement that is at its root negative and at its core - victimhood.
He's a life coach. His aim is to make you rise above self defeating, negative thinking. Who do you think becomes a winner and the best they can be in this world and makes a billion dollars in their life time: the person who is filled with negative, resentful thoughts about how they've been put upon; or the person that is able to say I am beating everything and anything that comes my way no matter what? [snip]
You just suggested the very thing the metoo movement is about and that is report it, talk about it. Victimhood is a place of helplessness, but having been a victim and speaking out against a culture that enables it is anything but negative, it’s empowering movement towards change.
He doesn't get a free pass just because other people have done the same thing or worse. Why should he?
So where do you draw the line? Many of my male friends have made sexist jokes about women - should they be sanctioned? I've thought of sexist things about women from time to time - should I be punished for those as well?
So where do you draw the line? Many of my male friends have made sexist jokes about women - should they be sanctioned? I've thought of sexist things about women from time to time - should I be punished for those as well?
Now you are being disingenuous.
Surely you understand the difference between thought and action, and all the various degrees and permutations involved.
IOW, just to be clear- our thought processes can vary between a passing thought about how a person looks to continued thoughts about a particular person to repetitive obsessive thoughts about a particular person. You do get this, right? We may not always be able to control our thoughts, but we can, as (hopefully) healthy mindful adults, monitor ourselves, understand when we are having unhealthy thoughts, and act accordingly to either self-correct or get help from a qualified professional.
Sexist jokes among men will unfortunately probably continue until one man in the group is brave enough to stand up and say that such jokes are not only not funny and not acceptable, but an offense to their wives, daughters, sisters, and mothers. It is clear from your post that you will not be that brave person willing to stand up for the women in your life.
So where do you draw the line? Many of my male friends have made sexist jokes about women - should they be sanctioned? I've thought of sexist things about women from time to time - should I be punished for those as well?
It doesn't belong in the workplace. Or for me, it doesn't belong at anywhere. How about if you change the words sexist/women to racist/black... Would your thinking still be alright with you?
I just note to self "I would never hire a woman" and when transfer assignments come up--that make sense professionally-- I was glad to see all men there which was icing....
Wait, are you openly admitting to workplace discrimination?
See animalcrazy this is the big myth and one that many don’t seem to get, workplace sexual harassment and abuse happens to women and some men and it’s got nothing to do with looking beautiful (which is very subjective). He doesn’t have a valid point doesn’t matter how he delivers it.
I think you're right that many don't seem to get it. I think the point that he was trying to make is that there will be abuses as well. Look at how many women claim that their child was sexually abused by their father to win full custody of their child. These things happen, and I think that abuses with the Me Too movement could potentially happen as well. People can be a moral if they want to win bad enough.
I think that he did have a valid point. Not everyone is honest, and the human condition dictates that many of us fall short of being responsible.
I think delivery is important and there are many miscommunications that garner misinterpretation. We've all had it happen. We all have to be careful with our words. I had it happened a couple of months back when I expressed a concern about our country being run by mafia. My post was deleted and interpreted as trolling. What I saw as a valid concern the moderator saw as something different. So who is right and who is wrong?
The answer is we both are. The moderator was doing the best that they can with interpreting thousands of words that they do for free for us every day. I was right because I saw something months ago that is now being echoed in the news. We both walked different paths with different interpretations.
Is there anything wrong with that? No. What becomes wrong is if it's turned into something myopic and a power struggle. We all have to learn how to walk in someone elses shoes and respect an opinion even if we don't agree with it.
It doesn't belong in the workplace. Or for me, it doesn't belong at anywhere. How about if you change the words sexist/women to racist/black... Would your thinking still be alright with you?
I agree, but my question was what do you think should happen to people like my male friends who made sexist jokes or in the case of me who thought of these thoughts but took no action?
Quote:
Sexist jokes among men will unfortunately probably continue until one man in the group is brave enough to stand up and say that such jokes are not only not funny and not acceptable, but an offense to their wives, daughters, sisters, and mothers. It is clear from your post that you will not be that brave person willing to stand up for the women in your life.
Perhaps, but I agree there's a ton of injustice in the world and unfortunately, I don't have the capacity to stand up for every single one of them (even including the ones I'm a victim to myself as I'm a minority and POC) unless I don't want a life.
I agree, but my question was what do you think should happen to people like my male friends who made sexist jokes or in the case of me who thought of these thoughts but took no action?
Maybe do a little reflection on why you think those jokes are funny or why you have those thoughts about women. Is it just a dumb joke, or do you deep down think that maybe women are lesser or stupid or crazy? And do those jokes and thoughts affect how you treat women in the real world?
Maybe do a little reflection on why you think those jokes are funny or why you have those thoughts about women. Is it just a dumb joke, or do you deep down think that maybe women are lesser or stupid or crazy? And do those jokes and thoughts affect how you treat women in the real world?
Personally, I don't always agree with what my male friends say and I don't always think thoughts that are in line with what's socially acceptable but I do have the self control to treat women with respect in my actions. Isn't that enough? I seldom go out of my way to do stuff for others in this respect as I simply content living my own life on my own terms day to day.
Personally, I don't always agree with what my male friends say and I don't always think thoughts that are in line with what's socially acceptable but I do have the self control to treat women with respect in my actions. Isn't that enough? I seldom go out of my way to do stuff for others in this respect as I simply content living my own life on my own terms day to day.
Do you think it's enough? A lot of what's hitting home with many women about the #metoo movement is that we've moved through the world policing our thoughts and actions so as not to seem too this or not enough that. We're finding that for some of our male colleagues and peers, the expectation that they should also think about their words and actions and how they might affect others is dismissed as "PC nonsense". It's disappointing to think that the men in our lives would chuckle through a sexist (or racist or whatever joke) and not say, "hey, not cool."
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Would your thinking still be alright with you?
