Do I have issues or am I just lying to myself?

[LLCNYC]

Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness

I will add another note: Because you are young, be careful - when you ask for advice on a forum like this, you are going to get the status quo, which is to pathologize you and your life - advice to medicate yourself - it's a Stepford Wife approach to life - the status quo.

If you are a free-thinker, do your own research, check in with yourself, and don't give your power and authority over yourself away to anyone!

Be very, very wary of psychiatrists - because their only role in life is to diagnose people with disorders and medicate them. That will not make for a happy life.

All human beings have challenges. We all have emotions and problems. Life is not easy. People get nervous - some get depressed. There are healthy ways to deal with these conditions.

The most important advice: Be true to yourself, take the best care of yourself possible, trust your instincts, don't medicate your feelings.

Orrrrrrrrr....you get people who tell you doctors are evil, oils cure cancer and drinking your own urine cures everything!

Works both ways.

OP- get a checkup with an MD before proceeding further.

[joee5]

Definitely a way too long first posting disorder IMO

[jaminhealth]

Originally Posted by LLCNYC

Orrrrrrrrr....you get people who tell you doctors are evil, oils cure cancer and drinking your own urine cures everything!

Works both ways.

OP- get a checkup with an MD before proceeding further.

Well, I got my first C-D chuckle for today.

OP: There is a lot of info in the Mental Health Issue in Health & Wellness area.

And we've discussed the MTHFR Gene Mutation issue. Many find out they have it and hence major depression issues.

Sleep is so critical and all the technology, good lord is all I can say. Sad.

The key is to find balance in one's life. From the start. A little bit of everything to become a well rounded person. My generation didn't grow up with all your technology and it took me a long time to "catch on" and I've come a long way from not even wanting to learn.

And still so much I don't care about but so enjoy this form of communication.

[ConfusedFattie101]

Well I can relate with a lot of things that you said but I instead of having OCD i was diagnosed by my therapist with PTSD. Not to mention some serious anxiety and previous battle with eating disorder. I have suffered 2 panic attacks in my life and last one was just 5 months ago. I'm 24 now but I started to suffer from depression and anxiety around the age of 16. Just reading that you wanted self harm is a big red light. You definitely need someone helping you out. You have to give yourself a break from your anxiety and this negative thoughts because if you don't change now and brush it off, they will get worse. I personally didn't find therapy very helpful but it might work for you! I did try antidepressants and I actually felt good on them but then after a month I was back to my anxiety and my doc said to increase dosage which I didn't want because the fact that I possibly couldn't function without medicine was making me even more anxious and upset. Is there anything in your life that you enjoy ? Perhaps some hobby ? Maybe dancing or weight lifting (personally love those 2) or maybe you like to draw or play guitar ? or maybe do some yoga ? It's good to have hobby and be passionate about something. Have something that is yours and no one can take it away from you...You mentioned that you don't feel your heart racing but you are aware when these bad thoughts are creeping in right ? Have you tried breathing technique ? if not you really should sounds so simple and stupid ....but trust me this have stopped my panic attack when i was alone driving on highway going 70mph. It's pretty simple take a very deep breath using your nose only (hold that air in for few seconds) and imagine a stop sign in your head ...that stop sign is your "ok I have to stop this thinking now"then exhale by mouth ...all this process should be slow and relaxed take as many breaths as you need focusing on that stop sign and you should feel better also bigggg help for me was guided meditation by Michael Sealey on youtube .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vx8iUvfyCY He has many different types also he has Deep Sleep Hypnosis which is great helping with better sleep. I like to put some scent in my room have a herbal tea and put my headphones on and listen. It did so much for me and improved my life so much more. You might think that that's stupid and pointless because that's what I first thought about it but once I got desperate and realized I can't go on I gave it a go and it was amazing anyway good luck trust this whole process relax and spent more time doing things you enjoy and I hope you will feel better

[ceiligrrl]

did you mention how old you are? only mentioned you are in high school. Like everyone else i believe, get thee some counselling. Start with your guidance counselor, no. truly. or your parish/church pastor. explain to them you can't seem to make your parents understand. Ask for them to help you get through to them. You are unhappy, drifting, not living your life to the fullest. And at your age, this SHOULD be the one time of life that should be totally care free and fun....but it is also the most difficult of all times.... you do need some help, that is for sure. So get some other adult your parents will carefully listen to in order to get an ally in your corner..... and realize that you aren't alone, or odd or hopeless. Right now you are just having a hard time. One great thing that keeps me most hopeful about you.... you have music. I too had a sometimes difficult childhood between my very abusive mother, a father embroiled in work, emotionally not all there.... but i had Beethoven, Schumann, Samuel Barber.... music kept me sane, that and art, dancing, but mostly it's the music that keeps us together, dontcha think? Yanno? there is this great song, by Aaron Copeland, called Laurie's Song. It's from his opera The Tender Land. I sang it at my highschool graduation. Maybe you can accompany a friend on your violin at your graduation. ??? I bet you could!!!! I'll include the lyrics here but i hope you will listen to it on you-tube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eWdjsKy_bE

Once I thought I’d never grow tall as this fence.
Time dragged heavy and slow.
But April came and August went before I knew just what they meant,
And little by little I grew,
And as I grew, I came to know how fast the time could go.
Once I thought I’d never go outside this fence.
This space was plenty for me,
But I walked down the road one day, and just what happened I can’t say.
But little by little it came to be:
That line between the earth and sky came beckoning to me.
Now the time has grown so short; the world has grown so wide.
I’ll be graduated soon. Why am I strange inside?
What makes me think I’d like to try
To go down all those roads beyond that line above the earth and 'neath the sky?
Tomorrow when I sit upon the graduation platform stand,
I know my hand will shake when I reach out to take that paper with the ribboned band.
Now that all the learning’s done, Oh who knows what will now begin?
Oh it’s so strange, I’m strange inside.
The time has grown so short; the world so wide.

bright bright blessings darlin'.... and oh, yes, lifelong survivor of depression here. you ARE NOT ALONE!!!!

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by hunterseat

Ah, the 1-post-10-rep-points bandit. Sends to be a pattern.

It IS a pattern; it's standard practice on C-D. The new-member registration is set up that way.

[k7baixo]

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

New posters get 10 points on their 1st post. That's standard.

Sometimes I wonder if the site owner doesn’t pay people to come up with these ludicrous first posts. Sheesh.

[sholomar]

I would start by taking a magnesium supplement... I'll go the easy route and just tell you to go to wal-mart and get magnesium citrate. Take 300 mg twice per day. If you get loose stools reduce to 200 mg twice per day. Do this for 2-3 months.

Once we're sure it's not that, you may need to get the professional help of a psychologist. Try not to let them put you on meds though. Meds are a slippery slope which will lead you dependent on them for life.

Mindfulness practice and the practice of accepting "what is" will help with these feelings. Don't try to fight the feelings... fighting feelings creates stress and anxiety... let the feelings flow through you as you go about your day. Somehow you programmed this anxiety and fear into your limbic system/subconscious mind.. it could be through childhood trauma or some kind of past experience that isn't even in your awareness, or just from bad thinking.. always wanting things to be different than how they are, complaining too much. The more you resist life, the more stress it creates. Also.. if you're hot and sticky, so be it.. learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.. your resistance towards the circumstances in your life is causing a lot of your feelings.

As far as thoughts, you should try to watch your mental chatter as a passive observer and change or "recontextualize" thoughts you are having so they are more positive. Instead of thinking "oh no not again I feel so shaky and depressed" you could think "oh this again... no big deal it's just my body/feelings acting up" ... instead of thinking "oh I'm so hot this is terrible" think "it's going to feel so good when I get home and take a cold shower"

the more you accept your emotions (and life circumstances), I mean really accept them, the less hold they will have over you and the anxiety and fear will gradually subside, assuming you have proper thinking and a positive outlook. Also keep in mind that nobody is happy/cheery all the time, so don't beat yourself up thinking you need to be. Social media gives the impression that everyone is constantly happy, constantly having the time of their lives.. they are only showing you what they want you to see.

It helps to get yourself out of your head as well.. go out there and have fun, create positive experiences, or use visualization to visualize positive experiences. You don't want to get stuck "ruminating" over your emotions, constantly focusing on them or obsessing over them.. let them pass like they are clouds in the sky if you can. It takes practice. Get a boyfriend that makes you laugh and brings a positive outlook into your life rather than one that is himself depressed or anxious... did I just say that? The guy who wanted a woman to come and "save" his depressed and anxious ass? Oh my. Be careful though because some men will take advantage of depressed women.. life is kind of one big struggle for dominance, as designed by mother nature. The weak often get taken advantage of.

There's a lot to explain that I can't even get into in a single post. Actually typing it out and editing it has made me realize a few things about myself and the changes I need to make.