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Hi, I had this problem long ago but only now it grew to stage where it agitates me. Let's say that we have Bobby who made me harm some time ago. Let's say that I got some news about him. It doesn't matter what kind of news I got, the important part is that I now have thoughts about Bobby. Right after that lets say that I went to play 5'th Bach symphony on guitar. While playing, in my recent memory I still have image of Bobby and his nasty deeds. Now lets say that I finished this training session of playing symphony on guitar. After 10 days if I take guitar now nothing happens, if I play lets say "Green sleave" nothing happens BUT if I play Bach 5th symphony my brain immediatly reminds me o Bobby and his nasty deeds therefore any time then I try to play this Bach 5th symphony i get a bunch of negative emotions and can't concentrate on playing/learning to play. In short: once image of Bobby got associated(in my brain) with bach 5th symphony I dont really enjoy playing it on guitar.
This was just an example, my real problems is that I got a lot of associations of bad life expierence with things that I enjoy. Therefore if I try to do something that I do enjoy in bad mood i risk to make a neggative association. In turn if don't do things that I enjoy I risk to live in "pale" life.
Do you guys know some techniques to "forget" bad associations that accidentally got binded to things that I enjoy?
Edit: also I do welcome long articles about this phenomena.
Last edited by Ripian; 01-04-2019 at 01:49 PM..
Reason: extra info
I recommend seeing a talk therapist, or older trusted friend, to help you talk through your emotional reaction to “Bobby”. It seems to me the problem is how you think about him. If you could somehow discharge those feelings, you might find relief. In other words, you could discuss how you feel wronged by him, and that you are tired of him living in your head. Sometimes expressing feelings helps release them.
Another thing to think about trying, is to play the 5th with unusual intensity, imagining all the time you are playing it so well that you impress Bobby, who is in the audience, with your skill.
In other words, you substitute a better image in replace of the negative thoughts.
Yes. I know some techniques for forgetting bad memories, and I think you are very smart for wanting to do so.
What has worked for me:
1) Prayer. I pray that I will forget bad memories (and I have a lot of them - and it works - I wasn't sure it would).
2) EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - Tapping. You can view it on YouTube. I like Brad Yates. You can tap "Even though I have bad memories, I totally and completely love and accept myself" on particular acupressure points.
3) CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (and some of the newer forms) - look up a therapist who can help you reprogram your mind.
I recommend seeing a talk therapist, or older trusted friend, to help you talk through your emotional reaction to “Bobby”. It seems to me the problem is how you think about him. If you could somehow discharge those feelings, you might find relief. In other words, you could discuss how you feel wronged by him, and that you are tired of him living in your head. Sometimes expressing feelings helps release them.
Another thing to think about trying, is to play the 5th with unusual intensity, imagining all the time you are playing it so well that you impress Bobby, who is in the audience, with your skill.
In other words, you substitute a better image in replace of the negative thoughts.
"Talk therapy" just entrains the memories deeper into your brain - it is the reverse of what this guy wants to do.
Thanks guys. I will try methods that you presented. But just in case what if they wont work in long term? I mean I speciffically want ot unbind/disassociate bad memories from activities for long term. I mean by using some "self calming talk" method I can temporarily forget/dont pay attention to this bad memory whle doing activity, but it only blocks it and doesnt unbinds memory. I mean I am a bit tired of this 20 minutes "self calming talk".
Also I found out that even then I logically prove to my self that this certain bad situation is in past and is irrelevant now, it still seems that my emotional side doesnt understand this. In other words while I got an argument for my logical side that last forever why I should discard bad experience, my other(emotional) side constantly forgets this argument and I need 20 minutes to reintroduce argument for emotional side that will only stay temporarily.
The only thing that has worked for me is to catch myself when the negative thought pops up in my head. Then start thinking of something else. I would start with thinking about the musical notes since that is what you need to focus on.
I have also read that it is not enough simply to think about something new. We have to change the environment as well.
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