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Why would it be important to get an ‘agreed upon concept’ through to someone who ‘refuses’ to accept your way? I agree - it would be exhausting, not to mention a complete waste of time.
Because often these are people who created the thread and are seeking the advice, but refuse to listen or consider the possibilities that people are suggesting. And in some cases, they create multiple threads over time with similar topics.
Alternatively, it may also be a desire to control the dissemination of inaccurate or bogus information. If I created a thread on the Relationships forum accusing women of being users in the relationship dynamic (side note: I don't even remotely agree with that), I'm sure it would be a greatly contested topic as opposed to people just ignoring and keeping their distance. We all know that that assertion is not universally true, but a lot of people would engage in refuting that misinformation regardless. So it's a good question...why do people feel so inclined to refute misinformation when most of us accept that it's bogus/overly negative and pessimistic? Now we're delving deeper into the human psyche.
There are great acts of selflessness and kindness on the internet, and people who are unspeakably cruel to others who are in a very difficult situation!
I agree. People should take posts and opinions less personally - and focus more on what is being said rather than trying to judge who is saying it (and there would be a lot less cruelty). Because the internet often creates a ‘pack mentality’ where people feel they are ‘justified’ to single out someone who doesn’t agree with them - or has a different background, or whatever. If someone respects themselves, they can respect another opinion and walk away (even if they don’t agree). That’s the way in the real world. Problems arise when people ‘congregate’ and attempt to force opinions on (or judge) others. This only happens online.
Last edited by CorporateCowboy; 04-03-2019 at 12:02 PM..
There are also so many people online who are uninformed, ill-informed, lacking in education, have barely a high school education, and lacking in knowledge -
but so many of these people are not aware at all that they are uninformed or ill-informed or lacking in knowledge.
Combine that with the crackpots, mentally disturbed, eccentric and odd, and there is a situation.
I agree. People should take posts and opinions less personally - and focus more on what is being said rather than trying to judge who is saying it (and there would be a lot less cruelty). Because the internet often creates a ‘pack mentality’ where people feel they are ‘justified’ to single out someone who doesn’t agree with them - or has a different background, or whatever. If someone respects themselves, they can respect another opinion and walk away (even if they don’t agree). That’s the way in the real world. Problems arise when people ‘congregate’ and attempt to force opinions on (or judge) others. This only happens online.
I would never judge someone for being depressed or anxious (I've suffered from that at times as well, so I can relate), but I would not hesitate to judge their opinion as being misinformed or myopic or skewed by their situation/condition. This is especially the case when they undoubtedly insist that their experience is the norm rather than the exception.
I agree with the 'pack mentality' comment. I observe this a lot.
That's because we're talking about numerous characteristic/personality types and not just one singular type. I didn't even originally bring up the case for autism, as my focus was more on people who possess unconventional or dark/gloomy/extremely pessimistic worldviews.
I very much agree that it's easy to get mired down in an abundance of people who are incessantly negative (and it's contagious, as I often discuss with clients with depressive symptoms...negativity begets negativity).
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My original point was that online communities seem to be a breeding ground for these types of people, because they seem to control the narrative and are the loudest voice.
Breeding ground, or likely repository, though?
I'm not sure about controlling the narrative or being the loudest voice. I think that's more in the eye of the beholder. If you develop a good sense for who and what are the likely offenders and topics, you learn who to avoid, and to seek out conversation with others on other threads, etc.
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Whenever I go to a social function in the real world, most people aren't sitting around moping and talking about all the worst possible outcomes that we face as a society.
Nope. Because social conventions generally preclude it, or at least provide an inhospitable environment for it (though this is dependent upon situation and context, too...I think if you walk into the local diner in my hometown at any time, you will find a corner table occupied by the same collection of old coffee-drinking cronies who sit there and ***** about anything and everything all day long, and have for years...like begets like).
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Who wants to be immersed in that constantly? It's anxiety inducing and depressing even if you aren't inclined to be a depressed or unhappy person. And before it is suggested, yes, I do disengage and step away from it. Often, as a matter of fact. I'm just recognizing it and 'saying it out loud' for the sake of discussion.
Fair enough, and I don't disagree, re: constant immersion in negativity (it's a good reason for me to stay off local news media comment sections, for instance). I do think that you don't HAVE to be immersed in it constantly because you choose to use online discussion forums. It just might be more a case of choosing different forums.
I would never judge someone for being depressed or anxious (I've suffered from that at times as well, so I can relate), but I would not hesitate to judge their opinion as being misinformed or myopic or skewed by their situation/condition. This is especially the case when they insist that their experience is the norm rather than the exception.
I agree with the 'pack mentality' comment. I observe this a lot.
They may be misinformed - but I don’t waste my time judging it - lol. I’m always amazed at the amount of time and effort put forth by some to attempt to change someone else’s mind or prove they are ‘right’ because the other guy is ‘misinformed’. That, by definition, seems ‘deranged’ to me (and only happens online).
They may be misinformed - but I don’t waste my time judging it - lol. I’m always amazed at the amount of time and effort put forth by some to attempt to change someone else’s mind or prove they are ‘right’ because the other guy is ‘misinformed’. That, by definition, seems ‘deranged’ to me.
Deranged? Did you forget that we’re on a forum where people literally discuss their opinions, which often includes expressing dissent to those you don’t agree with? Do you just skip over the opinions that you don’t agree on and only engage those you do?
If that’s the case, then why are you spending so much time on this thread trying to “get your point across”? It seems that maybe you aren’t above all this as much as you’d like to think.
Deranged? Did you forget that we’re on a forum where people literally discuss their opinions, which often includes expressing dissent to those you don’t agree with? Do you just skip over the opinions that you don’t agree on and only engage those you do?
If that’s the case, then why are you spending so much time on this thread trying to “get your point across”? It seems that maybe you aren’t above all this as much as you’d like to think.
I said a repeated behavior (seen only online as it pertains to this thread) ‘seemed’ deranged; I did not call anyone deranged (as this thread does). Expressing my opinion vs. ‘trying to make someone see I’m right and he is misinformed’ are two very different things. Forums are for all opinions - and that includes those who are ‘misinformed’ in your eyes.
I said a repeated behavior (seen only online as it pertains to this thread) ‘seemed’ deranged; I did not call anyone deranged (as this thread does). Expressing my opinion vs. ‘trying to make someone see I’m right and he is misinformed’ are two very different things. Forums are for all opinions - and that includes those who are ‘misinformed’ in your eyes.
Well, I stand corrected then. I was under the impression that you might believe I’m misinformed on this subject thus explaining your recurring visits to counter my comments.
Well, I stand corrected then. I was under the impression that you might believe I’m misinformed on this subject thus explaining your recurring visits to counter my comments.
Don’t take forums so personally. I wasn’t even aware it was you I quoted several times. If something is of interest (or I strongly agree or disagree), I will contribute. Opinions are for everyone. But as it relates to this thread, I do think some people ‘congregate’ and try to forcefully impose their opinions on others - out of boredom, depression, feelings of inadequacy, being ‘deranged’, who knows? The point is, though, these people are everywhere (and not just online).
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