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I have been to a couple of therapist. I found them to be a bit wacky themselves. One always had his dog--I guess he thought "pet therapy" and clients would appreciate a dog being around. Not me--I felt forced to be friendly to the dog, I wasn't there to be friends with his dog. He had mentioned on the third visit that he was unavailable for the next week due to flying out on vacation. On the next visit I made the mistake of asking him how his vacation was--he proceeded to talk about it for 20 minutes. I was the one that had to turn the conversation back to me. I never went back to him.
Has anyone here ever been in therapy only to eventually realize their therapist had more issues than they do. This has been the case with my last two therapists. I left the last one 10 years ago and have been doing just dandy on my own since. I realized this one had problems when it became clear she actually had a pretty specific image in her mind about what I should be doing with my life (getting an adjunct position at X university; consciously trying to get more friends in specific ways, etc.) When I said I wasn’t interested in her plan (when it was revealed after 2 months of therapy), she suddenly didn’t have room on her schedule for me anymore. Oh well, no great loss.
The therapist before that was really empathetic, but he told me one day about his belief in angels and other such things, and I felt like I had had enough at that point.
Anyone else have an interesting story along these lines?
Your first therapist sounds not so great. The second one sounds OK, I would love to have a therapist that believes in angels, but he probably shouldn't have told you about his personal beliefs unless it was relevant to what you were telling him.
Many people get into the mental health field because it's personal for them. They've had a history of mental illness themselves or a family history. A number of us go into it for what is commonly known as "me-search". You're looking for a way to heal yourself.
I decided to get into the field my second year as an undergrad due to episodic paroxysmal anxiety (panic attacks) that my parents had always minimized and had told me that I was over-reacting. I now had access to help and learned cognitive restructuring to deal with the issue. At 19, I finally felt free of them and this motivated me to want to educate and help others going through the same thing. The rest is history.
In all of my years of practice I've never spoken about my problems or personal life. I try to keep my private life private. No family pictures in the office. Just a pet picture or two.
I've been at CD for awhile and I've only lurked in this forum. I am really entertained by some of what I read and have to stop myself from responding, lol. I'll go back to lurking
The problem with most, if not all, therapists is that they live in a dream world, wearing perpetual rose-colored glasses. They believe that the world is a wonderful place filled with cute puppy piles and unicorns farting rainbows. When you tell them about something that's bothering you, they either try to gaslight you into believing it's not true, or ask you questions they should be smart enough to answer themselves, like "How did that make you feel?" They never actually help you solve the problem you bring to their attention.
As much as I hate those charlatans, I don't blame them for being the way they are. It's easy to live in a dream world when you make $100+ an hour not actually helping people, just asking them stupid questions. A typical therapist wouldn't last a day in the reality their clients live in on a daily basis. It's a "let them eat cake!" mindset.
The problem with most, if not all, therapists is that they live in a dream world, wearing perpetual rose-colored glasses. They believe that the world is a wonderful place filled with cute puppy piles and unicorns farting rainbows. When you tell them about something that's bothering you, they either try to gaslight you into believing it's not true, or ask you questions they should be smart enough to answer themselves, like "How did that make you feel?" They never actually help you solve the problem you bring to their attention.
As much as I hate those charlatans, I don't blame them for being the way they are. It's easy to live in a dream world when you make $100+ an hour not actually helping people, just asking them stupid questions. A typical therapist wouldn't last a day living a life their clients live day in and day out. It's a "let them eat cake!" mindset.
How many have you been to that you can generalize like this?
There are a wide variety of types of therapists with a wide variety of qualifications. At least in some states, any yahoo can call him or herself a "therapist."
When Florida first changed their laws for licensing psychologists, one guy got a license for his dog.
When Florida first changed their laws for licensing psychologists, one guy got a license for his dog.
It's plausible. Oftentimes, 5 minutes of petting a friendly dog can be more therapeutic than 50 minutes (a.k.a. therapy hour) of answering some quack's rhetorical questions.
Probably over half my clients actually initiate conversations about religion and spirituality themselves and it is a topic they choose to discuss. For some, grappling with issues of faith are among the main issues that bring them to counseling (and are consequently not things they necessarily are choosing to bring up with their spiritual leaders). It's definitely not always a topic it's clinically necessary to avoid.
As far as therapists disclosing personal beliefs, it may or may not be therapeutic, depending on the context and intent. Building the therapeutic relationship with trust-building and positive rapport is key to successful therapy, and often, some degree of self-disclosure is very important for this.
This came back to my memory because of the "OCD" thread (which I seem to have killed, sorry). The pdoc I saw for my meds told me the story of a patient he had who came to see him because every day while driving across the Brooklyn Bridge, he became convinced he had hit and killed someone, and he would stop the car to look around and under it to make sure he hadn't done so. The Brooklyn Bridge at rush hour is not a good place to stop your car, to put it mildly.
In talking to the man, the psychiatrist asked him WHO he thought he was killing, and the patient thought about it and replied, "It's a child. I think I hit a child".
Turns out the patient was a devout Catholic and a married father of four children. His wife was pregnant with the fifth. He was "killing" that child because deep down inside, he didn't want to have another baby, but his faith would not allow him to admit that.
As my pdoc said, "He didn't want another baby, and he couldn't say that to his priest, but he could tell a Jewish psychiatrist."
Sometimes the exploration of one's religion can unravel the problem.
In all of my years of practice I've never spoken about my problems or personal life. I try to keep my private life private. No family pictures in the office. Just a pet picture or two.
I've been at CD for awhile and I've only lurked in this forum. I am really entertained by some of what I read and have to stop myself from responding, lol. I'll go back to lurking
It's funny. In my training, grad program, ethics coursework, etc. everyone preached and reinforced "No personal pics in your office! No self-disclosure!"
Then, when interning at a large private practice with a huge staff of psychologists, social workers, LPCs, etc., I observed that nearly everyone kept family pictures, and most were judiciously self-disclosure-prone.
I, myself, am fairly pro-appropriate self - disclosure if it serves a particular therapeutic purpose, and isn't specifically counter - indicated...best judgment.
But I don't keep pics of my kids up, and don't indicate where I live. I also try to keep tabs on where clients work, and avoid going those places, if possible. Boundaries are good.
It would be interesting to see what drew practitioners to the field, though.
I interned with a late - in-life job changer (a widow interning in her 60s) who had an emotionally and behaviorally disturbed grandson, and she got interested while advocating for him. Also a woman whose younger brother had completed suicide after an addiction relapse. One was inspired by a grief counselor she saw when her dad died.
Personally, I was teaching special education, lots of adolescents with emotional and behavioral disturbance. More and more of my time was being spent in a quasi therapeutic role, versus instructional, and I thought, "This is a pretty good fit... I should get trained." I had also had a boyfriend who did cognitive behavioral therapy for BDD. I attended some of his sessions at his request as a support, and observed his therapist. I'd think, "Hey, I have this skill set and temperament."
I also had a parent who grappled with anxiety most of my upbringing, but that wasn't so much an inspiration as something I really only started to recognize once I was studying it intensely.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 08-16-2019 at 11:48 AM..
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