Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The problem with most, if not all, therapists is that they live in a dream world, wearing perpetual rose-colored glasses. They believe that the world is a wonderful place filled with cute puppy piles and unicorns farting rainbows. When you tell them about something that's bothering you, they either try to gaslight you into believing it's not true, or ask you questions they should be smart enough to answer themselves, like "How did that make you feel?" They never actually help you solve the problem you bring to their attention.
As much as I hate those charlatans, I don't blame them for being the way they are. It's easy to live in a dream world when you make $100+ an hour not actually helping people, just asking them stupid questions. A typical therapist wouldn't last a day in the reality their clients live in on a daily basis. It's a "let them eat cake!" mindset.
Again, your contribution speaks more about you than it does the field.
It doesn't really sound like they have "issues" - particularly the guy who believes in angels, it sounds to me like you just can't handle a therapist who has different opinions and beliefs than you do on certain topics. You're never going to find someone who shares exactly all the same beliefs as you.
The more recent woman sounds like maybe she might have been a little bit controlling, but she probably felt those goals were the best things for your self improvement and for all we know, maybe she's right.
If one doesn't believe in the existence of angels, and their therapist pushes them to solving their problems in this way I don't see how it wouldn't be a good idea to find another therapist.
If one doesn't believe in the existence of angels, and their therapist pushes them to solving their problems in this way I don't see how it wouldn't be a good idea to find another therapist.
Yes.
But I didn't really read any indication that that's what occurred.
"Pushing" clients to solve problems in general is really fairly antithetical to the process of therapy, overall.
Also, angels don’t exist. Not a matter of opinion.
Eh, that's quite a rigid attitude you have there. I can see why being your therapist would be hard. You could closed minded and probably would not be open to a lot of suggestions they would make.
Some therapists work better for certain people than others. It's not easy to find a good one for yourself.
I think this may be the crux of the problem. Finding a good therapist is like finding a good financial planner. By the time you know what questions to ask, what red flags to avoid, etc. you probably don't need one.
Of course they had their own problems. I'd be MUCH more concerned if they didn't. I'm as good as one but that's because I too have had my own problems. The thing about having your own problems is that it gives you experience. And first hand experience is the best experience. So if you're concerned about a therapist having problems I say be more concerned about someone not having problems and not having a clue how to help as a result. A marine has to fire the rifle before being used to combat. A medic has to save a life before being used to doing that. A diver has to be used to swimming or they risk drowning. It's the same concept. Only a therapist is "used to the mind". A mind in general even if not your own. If someone "never had problems" then suddenly I'm thinking "they have no experience". Therapist or not.
Surprised you didn't know it's COMMON for a therapist to have had problems. They're actually actively sought out because of their first hand experience. Provided they show they can be unbiased and rational.
Of course they had their own problems. I'd be MUCH more concerned if they didn't. I'm as good as one but that's because I too have had my own problems. The thing about having your own problems is that it gives you experience. And first hand experience is the best experience. So if you're concerned about a therapist having problems I say be more concerned about someone not having problems and not having a clue how to help as a result. A marine has to fire the rifle before being used to combat. A medic has to save a life before being used to doing that. A diver has to be used to swimming or they risk drowning. It's the same concept. Only a therapist is "used to the mind". A mind in general even if not your own. If someone "never had problems" then suddenly I'm thinking "they have no experience". Therapist or not.
This is a very interesting post. It explains perfectly why all my therapists were such unhelpful nitwits. I'm sure they had laid-back "whatever!" parents who left them to their own devices. So they had no idea what it was like to be overprotected. And they were in their 40's or 50's, so they completely forgot how unpleasant being kid really is. So when I talked to them about my parents being too strict and/or not understanding me, they pretended to be my friend, but ultimately gave me the runaround and took my parents' side. I was perceptive enough to figure it out; they either didn't know that I knew, or they knew but tried to gaslight me out of it. Even most therapists I saw as an adult were mostly New Age liberal nutjobs: all about "feelings" and such, but nothing actually helpful. They'd probably find Woodstock '69 too conservative.
We definitely need stronger government oversight over what tactics and methods are valid therapy practices, and what are basically glorified gaslighting. Because even a high school dropout can ask people "How did that make you feel?", and pass it off as helpful.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 08-18-2019 at 11:04 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
