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Your post sounds much too young for a grown man's. It's more like a post by a teenager.
As for being socially stunted because you're an only child, that's not true. My mother was an only child and was more social and had more friends than any of us (her kids) did. She had to make friends & be social, since she didn't have playmates at home.
I suspect your religious training has held you back in learning about people, and liking them. Maybe not, but that's my guess.
As for women being boring (females your age are women, not girls), it's possible it's who you are meeting. If you are meeting women with limited exposure to the world and other people, they, like you, haven't fully developed their personalities and interests yet.
There are a lot of rationalizations in the OP. You know you don't have to marry the first girl you date. And dating is a way to get to know these strange life forms you are unfamiliar with--women, to be exact.
Yes, exactly. Remember, OP: You don't have to marry or even get serious with the first girl you date. In fact, you don't owe her anything other than human decency. I myself didn't realize that, when I was with my first girlfriend at age 18. I was so elated by her showing interest in me, plus I didn't think I'd have another chance at a relationship again, that I totally jumped the gun and grabbed on to her like a drowning man to floating driftwood. I completely ignored the yellow flags---signs that I had nothing in common with her and didn't find her attractive to boot, even though she wasn't detrimental to my life. (If she were, they'd be red flags.) I dated her anyway, due to my "scarcity mindset", and even worried how I'll introduce her to my family. We fizzled out the next semester with minimal bitter feelings, making it a moot point.
You need to give yourself permission to set boundaries and make hardline rules. No one else will give it to you. Do you like women with long hair? Guess what? It's OK to politely turn down a woman with a pixie cut. Maybe don't tell her why you're rejecting her, but there's nothing wrong with saying "I'm not feeling a connection". Women say that phrase all the time, with it being code for "I'm not attracted to you".
Want to get to know women as people? Join Meetup. You'll be spending time with them in a relaxed group setting. And since you're in the same groups, you'll have shared interests from the get-go. Like, no one joins a salsa dancing group if they don't like salsa dancing. You can talk to them, you can even playfully flirt a little, just remember one thing: nearly all groups have an unwritten "don't creep on the women" rule.
Probably because more and more people are growing up as only children, without siblings of the opposite gender, and have no idea of how to interact with the opposite gender, much less marry.
Here's some replies to some questions on this thread:
1. I know for sure I am attracted to women, but not men. I often find women physically attractive but upon breaking the ice with them all my interest goes away as I find out superficial they are. I never have the same attraction towards men.
2. It is strange that people act as if marriage and having kids is necessary in life for happiness. I'm glad for people who start families, but they can only speak for themselves. Why tell people to conform to your ideal of happiness? It makes about as much sense as a multi-millionaire telling the world that they can't be happy unless they're like him and buy a Maserati and a yacht.
Don't get me wrong, I want Americans to have more kids. I want every state to look like Utah in terms of birth rates. But there's no shame in admitting you're asocial and therefore would not want to get married because you struggle with relationships, especially with those of the opposite gender.
3. And why is it that people assume married people are more social than unmarried people?
Don't get me wrong, I want Americans to have more kids. I want every state to look like Utah in terms of birth rates. But there's no shame in admitting you're asocial and therefore would not want to get married because you struggle with relationships, especially with those of the opposite gender.
3. And why is it that people assume married people are more social than unmarried people?
I'm not avoiding marriage because I'm struggling with meeting women; I'm at the age where every woman and her sister are in "catch and attach" mode, looking for an easy husband to settle down with. I'm avoiding marriage because I know how unhappy I'll be living with a wife. I know I'll spend half the time in the doghouse, or be screamed at for some perceived slight, like saying "good morning, honey" in the wrong tone of voice. "Happily married man" is a figure of speech at best and an oxymoron at worst.
Married people are more social? Hahahahahaha! 'Scuse me while I get a paper towel to blot the soda I sputtered on the keyboard from laughing. Every married man I know doesn't socialize. Or at least doesn't socialize outside of wholesome "couple things", like a romantic dinner with his wife. His social life died the day he let a woman move in with him. Before then, I admired the way those men socialized.
I grew up as an only child with very few male relatives, and I have had boyfriends since I was a young teen.
It's just you.
I agree that the OP should have learned about women from other sources, like book or magazines; even the forum rhyming with "Bread Bill" is better than nothing. But you're forgetting something extremely important: you're a woman! Most women can find a romantic partner with little effort, so in your case, lack of opposite-sex siblings is mostly irrelevant. It may not be the perfect partner, but it's still someone to be with. This is not true for most men.
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