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IMHO, having some unresolved conflict with someone you have to deal with on a regular basis adds to your load of background stress. The more stressors you carry around the more tension they can create. Tension, anxiety, always feeling you have to be mentally "on guard" at any moment is tiring. There could be guilt wrapped up in it too. To suppress what you really want to tell someone for a long time takes energy. To resolve it is like being able to drop a burden once and for all. It is uplifting and freeing, which can make you feel better.
Have you ever done any backpacking? You lift a 50 lb backpack, set it on your back, and have to get used to carrying and balancing the weight. It takes a while to get used to it. When you finally take the pack off, you feel as if you will float away into the air. You won't, but it feels that way for a while.
Yes. What can also bring you peace was somebody drawing a clear line for you like your mother did. Hopefully, the next time you have a disagreement with your father, you draw a clear line for yourself that you will not cross with him.
Yes. What can also bring you peace was somebody drawing a clear line for you like your mother did. Hopefully, the next time you have a disagreement with your father, you draw a clear line for yourself that you will not cross with him.
This presumes that the OP was entirely at fault, when the responsibility for the ill will may lie on both sides.
My father and I had been at odds with each other for the last 4 months. We had a huge argument over something tha seems utterly ridiculous now.
Since Christmas was getting closer, my mother basically gave me an ultimatum, telling me I had to put an end to this silly disagreement.
We finally had a long conversation yesterday, it all ended with a big hug and it's all settled now.
When I woke up today, it was like a ton had been lifted off my chest. I couldn't remember being able to take such a deep breath.
Well, for one thing, it means a source of stress has been removed, so you're not living on stress hormones anymore. That's huge! Chronic stress hormones in the system has negative effects on health, especially long-term.
This presumes that the OP was entirely at fault, when the responsibility for the ill will may lie on both sides.
I think we're only responsible for our own actions and that includes taking responsibility for our own actions. The OP's tone struck that note with me.
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