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I’m actually noticing the opposite: less opinions, less presence.
When I first started working from home I noticed this. We used to get up and go to another room to have a meeting, break out into other groups to have other meetings, spend a lot of time bustling around moving from one place to another, getting coffee. I knew other people were there.
Now when there’s a Skype meeting, I see 20 “attendees” and only three or four people are actually contributing. It’s so much more obvious now, and it’s always the same few of us with anything to say. The same few making any decisions, having any opinions.
I almost want to ask those other 15 or so: “Have you just been sitting there your whole life without an opinion to express? I see your name on the screen, are you reading or something? Is it good enough to just show up?” But I won’t point it out. As it is, I usually end up saying something that brings the conversation to a halt. That weird silence where other people may be thinking: “Why is she such an ass?”
I find that everywhere. People not standing out, blending in, flying under the radar. Not wanting blame, so they’ll also sacrifice getting credit.
So no, I don’t miss many people, just the ones who make their presence known, have something to contribute, make a difference. A few people.
I almost feel mildly annoyed when other people try to engage me, except for my fiance, I do enjoy his company. But most other people feel...intrusive. Not severely, not enough to make me upset or nervous, just....like a mild disturbance I can't really be bothered with.
Love people and talking with them, but there are times when I need to retreat and decompress...I've been alone most of my life, and cut down my circle of friends....I"m glad for that...b/c some of them were gossips and very needy...but the friends who remain, are wonderful people and b/c I moved I do miss them.
Sometimes I to get some what annoyed when people want to talk and I"m in the much needed alone time...but have learned to be more accepting since I'm now retired.
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It is very, very weird. I've never been like this. I'm not necessarily complaining. I'm not seeing this as feeling good or bad, it's neutral, but it's DIFFERENT. I feel like I'm getting to indulge in and connect with something that I generally just...don't. At first the news and the...everything...felt oppressive to me. Then it didn't. Now everything is kind of "whatever." Meh. I'm here. The days blurring together like. It's almost pleasant actually, even if it's weird.
yup and it gets even better, b/c your learning to be confident within you, your spiritual self...you are learning who you are, what your needs are, without others telling you how you "must" think and feel. The hardest part about marriage is, if one of you expects the other to think and feel the same way of how a marriage should be. We all have our ideas about what a marriage should be, which is what we should find out before we marry, not after...lol
I am not marriage material....and that is why people should spend much needed time along before they marry, so they learn who they are...are confident in that person, enjoy the company they keep and realize their own hopes and dreams, and then, finding a mate who thinks and feels like they do, spiritually, mentally and physically.
I’m actually noticing the opposite: less opinions, less presence.
When I first started working from home I noticed this. We used to get up and go to another room to have a meeting, break out into other groups to have other meetings, spend a lot of time bustling around moving from one place to another, getting coffee. I knew other people were there.
Now when there’s a Skype meeting, I see 20 “attendees” and only three or four people are actually contributing. It’s so much more obvious now, and it’s always the same few of us with anything to say. The same few making any decisions, having any opinions.
I almost want to ask those other 15 or so: “Have you just been sitting there your whole life without an opinion to express? I see your name on the screen, are you reading or something? Is it good enough to just show up?” But I won’t point it out. As it is, I usually end up saying something that brings the conversation to a halt. That weird silence where other people may be thinking: “Why is she such an ass?”
I find that everywhere. People not standing out, blending in, flying under the radar. Not wanting blame, so they’ll also sacrifice getting credit.
So no, I don’t miss many people, just the ones who make their presence known, have something to contribute, make a difference. A few people.
Love people and talking with them, but there are times when I need to retreat and decompress...I've been alone most of my life, and cut down my circle of friends....I"m glad for that...b/c some of them were gossips and very needy...but the friends who remain, are wonderful people and b/c I moved I do miss them.
Sometimes I to get some what annoyed when people want to talk and I"m in the much needed alone time...but have learned to be more accepting since I'm now retired.
yup and it gets even better, b/c your learning to be confident within you, your spiritual self...you are learning who you are, what your needs are, without others telling you how you "must" think and feel. The hardest part about marriage is, if one of you expects the other to think and feel the same way of how a marriage should be. We all have our ideas about what a marriage should be, which is what we should find out before we marry, not after...lol
I am not marriage material....and that is why people should spend much needed time along before they marry, so they learn who they are...are confident in that person, enjoy the company they keep and realize their own hopes and dreams, and then, finding a mate who thinks and feels like they do, spiritually, mentally and physically.
I'm planning to marry a really good guy in July. We do live together, but maintain separate spaces in the house. And he is naturally an introvert, no question about it, so like even this last week, when we were both on a sort of vacation (he took it off work completely, I worked from home but only half-days) we still had plenty of time apart.
Despite my present aversion to socializing, or I guess...my surprising level of comfort with the absence of my normal social activity... My fiance is a strong exception. Being around him always makes me feel good, and he also doesn't mind when I take time and space to be alone. He is, after all, pretty happy to have his own alone time and he's good at entertaining himself.
It's weird after my ex... I keep bracing myself for my fiance to be mad about how I choose to spend my time, in one way or another...and he just isn't. He's so cool with everything.
I mentioned in the Relationships forum that if I were single right now, it would be a terrible idea for me to be on a dating site, trying to meet people online. My presently low tolerance for BS would make me pretty short tempered in such an environment, I'm pretty sure.
I'm planning to marry a really good guy in July. We do live together, but maintain separate spaces in the house. And he is naturally an introvert, no question about it, so like even this last week, when we were both on a sort of vacation (he took it off work completely, I worked from home but only half-days) we still had plenty of time apart.
Despite my present aversion to socializing, or I guess...my surprising level of comfort with the absence of my normal social activity... My fiance is a strong exception. Being around him always makes me feel good, and he also doesn't mind when I take time and space to be alone. He is, after all, pretty happy to have his own alone time and he's good at entertaining himself.
It's weird after my ex... I keep bracing myself for my fiance to be mad about how I choose to spend my time, in one way or another...and he just isn't. He's so cool with everything.
I mentioned in the Relationships forum that if I were single right now, it would be a terrible idea for me to be on a dating site, trying to meet people online. My presently low tolerance for BS would make me pretty short tempered in such an environment, I'm pretty sure.
well then, it sounds like you found yourself a keeper....I believe if I had met someone like that, I would have been fine, but I never did....they were always controlling and smothering and some there just wasn't enough time to tell....
Wishing you the best, sounds ideal for both of you...and that is what compatibility is, mentally compatible is a plus.
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