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No. A gracious lady would take the compliment with a gentle smile and a thank you. Some folks learn kindness .
We hear what we endear. And garnering a person as creepy for conveying a kind view isn't one of them .
Maybe it's not them so much as it is in the receiver being on negative guard. As your comment so easily demonstrated.
No.
What you are describing is the antiquated notion that women must always be gracious to a man, even if that man lacks boundaries and is being unspeakably rude to them.
The post I responded to said he pompously "taught" women how to behave. At work. Gross and creepy. Not even a little bit "kind". And not something anyone should accept with a "gentle smile". Not all "compliments" are just that.
A genuine compliment: "I like your dress!" "Your new haircut really suits you!" is lovely, and will get a gracious response. "You will not ignore me, I will teach you how to act when I repeatedly tell you you are real purty" will not.
Probably because women are so used to society thinking their looks are all that matter, that being complimented on our looks grows old. How about our brains, our accomplishments, our senses of humor, our talents, our attitudes or viewpoints... we could make a whole list.
Actually, no, I doubt we're all sitting around starved for compliments. And, I hate to break it to you, but even "ugly" women aren't desperate. Contrary to popular belief, they don't wait around to drool on any man who gives them any attention. Nobody wants a fake, creepy, odd, inappropriate, rude, whatever "compliment," no matter who they are. Don't be weird, don't be a creeper, don't be inappropriate, don't be fake, and you'll be fine.
I don't mind a sincere compliment, but I've never found myself longing for the opinion of a stranger.
One would think that both sexes would enjoy compliments on their appearance but it seems that women are far less receptive to them than men.
I've talked to female family members on this and read posts on Reddit from women and it seems that compliments like "you're pretty", or "nice clothes" makes them feel uncomfortable. Anything sexual is uncomfortable for them unless it comes from their SO.
Meanwhile I know male friends who wouldn't have a problem with it (since they seldom receive such compliments). The ones who have been told they're sexy seem to be proud. No sense of being uncomfortable.
Why the difference? Is it perhaps because men are so starved for them that when it comes, they can't help but feel proud? Meanwhile women receive so many remarks on their appearance from strangers and family members/friends alike that it can become annoying after a while.
I disagree, I never had any issue complimenting a female about their looks. It depends on what kind of compliment and the delivery.
What I find often is that most men are not good at complimenting. Saying a girl is "beautiful" is usually over the top. Majority of women do not find themselves to be beautiful because the see their imperfections everyday. So they don't like that word as much as telling them they have very beautiful eyes or hair. That they could agree on if you can find the part that gets their attention the most.
I have actually taught a few ladies how to take compliments by being honest, persistent, and supportive. In all cases, I could see they felt uncomfortable receiving compliments from me. I explained That my compliments are genuine and that I don’t give compliments unless they are deserved. I explained that it is courteous to accept compliments and that people who give you compliments are just being nice, and all they hope for is a polite ‘thank you†in acknowledgment.
In all cases, the ladies were quickly able to get to the point where they were no longer embarrassed or ashamed to receive a compliment, but understood the good intentions and sincerity of people offering them.
We got to the place where they would just say “thank you†to a compliment.
But you are right in that these ladies could not naturally take compliments. It was a learned trait to take a compliment without embarrassment.
Compliment people on their choices, not their attributes.
I would not say, "You look good in that skirt."
I would say, "That's a clever way of matching those colors."
I would think that any woman being told that by a strange man would immediately be suspicious. What man would notice the colors of a woman's outfit?
And I know I am not alone. This workmate took his kid into town and lost him. He went to the police station and they asked him what the kid was wearing. What a dumb question. The guy had no idea! That would be exactly me. For example, I have no idea what my lady was wearing when she kissed me goodby this morning. When I lose her in the supermarket (she wanders off without warning me) I have difficulty finder her because I don't know what she's wearing!
I would think that any woman being told that by a strange man would immediately be suspicious. What man would notice the colors of a woman's outfit?
Was it set as a necessary condition that they be strangers?
And actually, there have been a few times when a woman I didn't know has dressed strikingly enough that I've been able to compliment her choice of style. One time was a young woman who had adopted a 40s style outfit...clearly she wanted someone to notice it. I said, "That is a great outfit...you really nailed the look." She dimpled at that.
Quote:
And I know I am not alone. This workmate took his kid into town and lost him. He went to the police station and they asked him what the kid was wearing. What a dumb question. The guy had no idea! That would be exactly me. For example, I have no idea what my lady was wearing when she kissed me goodby this morning. When I lose her in the supermarket (she wanders off without warning me) I have difficulty finder her because I don't know what she's wearing!
I think your lady would appreciate it if you did notice what she was wearing. That level of obliviousness in a loved one is not appreciated by anyone. It's not a brag point.
Compliment people on their choices, not their attributes.
I would not say, "You look good in that skirt."
I would say, "That's a clever way of matching those colors."
The compliments that land are the compliments on the thing the person themselves is proud of. So while I wouldn't normally compliment a woman for wearing high heels, with my niece who was fourteen at a wedding that compliment landed because at 14 that was something she was proud of.
The compliments that land are the compliments on the thing the person themselves is proud of. So while I wouldn't normally compliment a woman for wearing high heels, with my niece who was fourteen at a wedding that compliment landed because at 14 that was something she was proud of.
Whoa, Nellie! I can think of things that a woman is obviously PROUD OF by the way they are displayed, but if some man who is not her boyfriend or husband comments on them, he may find himself in a heap of trouble.
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