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One would think that both sexes would enjoy compliments on their appearance but it seems that women are far less receptive to them than men.
I've talked to female family members on this and read posts on Reddit from women and it seems that compliments like "you're pretty", or "nice clothes" makes them feel uncomfortable. Anything sexual is uncomfortable for them unless it comes from their SO.
Meanwhile I know male friends who wouldn't have a problem with it (since they seldom receive such compliments). The ones who have been told they're sexy seem to be proud. No sense of being uncomfortable.
Why the difference? Is it perhaps because men are so starved for them that when it comes, they can't help but feel proud? Meanwhile women receive so many remarks on their appearance from strangers and family members/friends alike that it can become annoying after a while.
We like compliments just as much as the next person, we just don’t like being deluged by them. After a while it doesn’t come off as sincere or that’s there’s more behind them just just being a compliment. It can become embarrassing too. How many times am I going to have to say thank you or come up, with something to say after yet another compliment? You basically answered the question for your self...”It can become annoying after a while”.
It's one thing if someone compliments you, and then you both move on to your individual lives. It's quite another when someone compliments you, and then goes on and on.
Now...if you're someone who's receptive (for whatever reason) to getting 'hit on', then I would think one would appreciate the extra attention.
But say you're standing in line at Walgreens, and the woman behind you goes on and on about the color of your hair, and even tries to incorporate other people into the discussion? It's weird and annoying.
One would think that both sexes would enjoy compliments on their appearance but it seems that women are far less receptive to them than men.
I've talked to female family members on this and read posts on Reddit from women and it seems that compliments like "you're pretty", or "nice clothes" makes them feel uncomfortable. Anything sexual is uncomfortable for them unless it comes from their SO.
Meanwhile I know male friends who wouldn't have a problem with it (since they seldom receive such compliments). The ones who have been told they're sexy seem to be proud. No sense of being uncomfortable.
Why the difference? Is it perhaps because men are so starved for them that when it comes, they can't help but feel proud? Meanwhile women receive so many remarks on their appearance from strangers and family members/friends alike that it can become annoying after a while.
Its also possible the person who ends up uncomfortable or irate feels that way because they don't believe what they hear. Someone with lower self esteem or who is harshly self critical may be listening to an inner voice that sabotages the message. Telling them they are being lied to, that there's an ulterior motive in the remark, its not sincere, or not to trust the person.
Last edited by Parnassia; 07-08-2020 at 06:27 PM..
Women may be more alert to false compliments, or compliments that have an ulterior motive. Women don't mind genuine compliments ("nice outfit!", or "that's a really good color on you. It really lights up your skin tone", or "that's a nice pin you're wearing today"), but too often, compliments are deployed with intent to manipulate and flatter, with an ulterior goal in mind. And some compliments are really obviously fake, a canned line someone uses on all women they meet. Women can tell. It's just really painfully obvious.
Maybe most compliments men get from women are more genuine? Unless the woman is after a job the man has decision-making power over, or he's single and she's after him for his money, men may be less often in a position to receive fake or manipulative compliments. I wouldn't know. Just a guess.
I don't think I ever compliment women. I think complimentary thoughts and that's as far as it goes.
I very seldom get compliments from women. No one ever compliments me on my dress. Mmm.... I wonder why? I have been told I'm a scruff though. Does that count?
I don't think I ever compliment women. I think complimentary thoughts and that's as far as it goes.
I very seldom get compliments from women. No one ever compliments me on my dress. Mmm.... I wonder why? I have been told I'm a scruff though. Does that count?
Humans are fickle. Some have zero sense on how to accept a compliment . Others enjoy self deprivation.
Usually a genuine compliment is met with a smile and a kind remark, thanks ! Or wow how kind to say.
How the compliment is conveyed...tone, mannerisms are key.
I haven't the displeasure of meeting a male that scoffs a kind remark.
I have met some ladies who preen and boast how long it took them to you know...'ohhh this little ole thang'. Taint nothing really. When it's clear the person has a talent to whip up a complimentary outfit or style. Accept it without the downplay.
I do recall a male model who I had a business relationship. He would egg on how or where he got his outfit. I refused to compliment him or in any way acknowledge his looks. I don't give compliments to something so full already.... To this day I'm sure it ires him to not have someone be impressed. But what's to impress? It's superficial. *Yawn*
Seems like now would be a good time to differentiate compliments from strangers, as opposed to compliments from friends, aquaintances and family.
Plus, sometimes it depends how the compliment is given. For example let's say my boss says "What a pretty dress!" I'm OK with that. But what if my boss says "Wow! That dress hugs you in all the right places!" Ummm...not cool.
And then there are the backhanded compliments. "Blue is a nice shade on you. Glad you finally found a color that looks nice on you."
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