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Hi,
I became friends with someone and once I started getting to know her deeper, I figured out she was super closed off to relationships, had a very hard time trusting other people, was scared of being hurt so she pushed people away, was completely disconnected from her emotions. I did some research and it seemed like her attachment style is fearful avoidant. But with the few psychology classes I had in college, I think attachment styles are related to our relationship with our parents which hers is great. Can't this type of attachment be triggered by something else later in childhood. I know she has been bullied a lot in elementary school, never had any close friends and lots of friends have left her. Could that have triggered it?
It doesn't always have to be something big. Even a steady negative influence from bullying can do it to someone. Have you asked her what makes her feel that way?
Hi,
I became friends with someone and once I started getting to know her deeper, I figured out she was super closed off to relationships, had a very hard time trusting other people, was scared of being hurt so she pushed people away, was completely disconnected from her emotions. I did some research and it seemed like her attachment style is fearful avoidant. But with the few psychology classes I had in college, I think attachment styles are related to our relationship with our parents which hers is great. Can't this type of attachment be triggered by something else later in childhood. I know she has been bullied a lot in elementary school, never had any close friends and lots of friends have left her. Could that have triggered it?
What kind of loss has she experienced in life? You say lots of friends have left her. Has she ever been married? Have kids? Maybe even had pets die? She may have decided that the loss is so painful, and the only way to avoid loss is to not get attached.
I kind of feel that way about female friends (I am female). I've never been burned by a guy, but wow, some women will turn on you on a DIME.
I don't care if I ever have another one! Very casual is just fine from now on.
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