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I just resigned from my job due to a mental breakdown of sorts. I have been offered two new jobs at different companies that I will start in January. However, I am still trying to deal with issues from the last job. Suggestions on what I can try? Any insight based on what I went through?
Details below:
1.) ignored by my boss and ignored by colleagues. I work in an industry where if something doesn't pass testing it can go into someone's body. Since day one it got me sick at night because I was the only one saying that we need reject the product to go to vendor and find out what is going on. Two months after me pushing for a clear investigation and path to action by first contacting the vendor, it gottest the material in compliance". I am not on board - plus the fact I work 9am to 9pm unnoticed and it is expected (rarely get credit but other people on my team get credit for less). No credit when things are thrown on me last minutes and I have till midnight that day to get it done. Finally the incoming team escalated and we found out vendor has done some shady number keeping on their side, and their product may be bad (they recommended our company not use it). So what happens, they are still pushing to have testing add to "test the material in compliance". I am not on board. their product may be bad (they recommended our company not use it). So what happens, they are still pushing to have testing add to "test.
2.) the fact I work 9am to 9pm unnoticed and it is expected (rarely get credit but other people on my team get credit for less). No credit when things are thrown on me lasy minutes and I have till midnight that day to get it done.
3.) Finally, I am pretty sure the other girl on my level on the team is having an affair with my boss. My boss that doesn't listen to anything I have to say and tunes me out while he plays on his phone. The new person who started and trained on everything wrote nothing down, spaces out,, ask questions,, and still doesn't know her job six months in.
4.)I've tried to bid out of department since it is a big workplace nine times, everytime being second choice. It has been really tearing at my self esteem and made me sad...so I took a risk and decided to apply for jobs out of my "best in industry" pharma company I work for whom love to preach iclusivity, but doesn't treat you like a human. It especially saddened me there was a womans seminar and almost all team members go to go except me.. they they had the nerve to make a meeting about it afterwards for the women and men that didn't go (mind you, the boss picks whether y I u go).
So now I have two job offers and not sure which to go to and how to prepare with leaving my current job. Its amazing, both are managment positions and could be good career moves. Since I'm se sensitive to being ignored, it will be a good lesson as I go into management to not be that manager (only talk to my favorites or other directors so they can get ahead). Still, how do I reset (besides washing my hands of bad decision making at the job I'm leaving)? How will I know which job would be the right move at this time in my life.
It seems to me that you have been in a high stress job in a company that takes you for granted and have been pretty much vindicated with your choice of roles that involve advancement into management.
The politics you mention aren't unusual in large corporations. See: the Peter Principle ("everyone rises to the level of their own incompetence"). Nor is the falsity unusual. It is about making money, and safety, integrity or common sense be ... well, a word starting with d that I probably can't actually use.
I don't know what you mean by "prepare for leaving". Give them reasonable notice, not more than two weeks, be honest in exit interviews about your reasons for leaving. I would only suggest that since people's safety is at stake, don't waste your breath talking about how you felt ignored or marginalized. Instead, focus on their systemic failures to insure consumer safety.
By your own admission you're "sensitive" to being ignored, so don't cast this in a light that will make it easy for them to dismiss your concerns as illegitimate hurt feelings.
Still, at the end of the day, understand that they will probably do nothing and all you can do is blow the whistle and make a point, even if it gets ignored.
It would be impossible to advise you on which of your offers is the best one without more info. Sometimes it's hard to know with any certainty. Life doesn't always provide that. If it seems like a tossup as to pros and cons of the two, then literally make it a toss-up -- flip a coin and go with one of them.
Thank you for the for the advice. I am still struggling with which offer to take:
1.) Quality manager for a startup of 30 people who contracts out all manufacturing. I would have no direct reports as the contract manage -.I would be aliason basically. I was also told there is a chance of being sold or going public in 6 to 9 months.+
2.Quality Manager for the Northeast for a.compamy.that manufactures and distributes chemicals. I would have 6 direct reports who all seem friendly and hardworking and was told in interview that the place is very hectic and they are doing a lot of fire fighting. On the other hand, their is a lot of opportunity to improve culture and systems as per the manager
(Most of which I can start applying improvements Ive seem in other points of my career. Plus the most direct reports I've ever had so this would be a great opportunity
I'm going off topic here to address a deeper issue. Recovery from on-the-job PTSD requires more than a change of venue. It requires healing or similar problems will accompany you into your next venture.
It's an unfortunate fact. We have problems, even misbehavior, from others that thwart our good intentions. It's tempting, even seems crucial, to focus on them. In doing so we fail to address what damaged our self-protection, our resilience. That's a part of ourselves we can heal and improve.
This comes to mind as last night I was reading from Carl Jung and the many astute quotes he has given us about our Shadow side.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.” (Carl Jung)
Please do consider some time to take care of yourself before you re-enter the working world. Right now you need a door to healing.
My suggestion would be to take some time and go talk to a professional before accepting either of these positions. Many red flags in your post are saying you need to work out a few personal issues before taking on a new job. Asking for help would be good to do at this time before committing to another stressful situation. JMHO
Many do not have the luxury to quit, take a few weeks off for (expensive) therapy, THEN look for work. The anxiety of no income plus possible missed opportunities have to be factored in. Unless she's truly on the verge of a nervous breakdown, the perfect could be the enemy of the good.
Thank you for the for the advice. I am still struggling with which offer to take:
1.) Quality manager for a startup of 30 people who contracts out all manufacturing. I would have no direct reports as the contract manage -.I would be aliason basically. I was also told there is a chance of being sold or going public in 6 to 9 months.+
2.Quality Manager for the Northeast for a.compamy.that manufactures and distributes chemicals. I would have 6 direct reports who all seem friendly and hardworking and was told in interview that the place is very hectic and they are doing a lot of fire fighting. On the other hand, their is a lot of opportunity to improve culture and systems as per the manager
(Most of which I can start applying improvements Ive seem in other points of my career. Plus the most direct reports I've ever had so this would be a great opportunity
Yeah that's a tough one.
I've been through three mergers / acquisitions now, and while they CAN present opportunities, none of those three were good for me in the short term. I was not wanted by the acquiring firm in the first M&A (although eventually they did hire me, quite some time later, and wish they had done it up front). In the second one, all product development was frozen and they planned to just harvest our customers and data and shut us down by a certain date (though the date keeps slipping and now it looks like we might survive the experience after all). I then took a 2nd job as insurance, and within a few months they transferred me to a newly acquired division that is not very well run, and even the new / transitional leadership, ominously, quit. It is not all bad, there are upsides and opportunities as well, but it's also a lot of uncertainty and chaos.
(I am doing what's known as "overworking" which is possible only in the 100% remote work world; I'm working 60-65 hours a week, not entirely overlapping -- I would not recommend it for everyone and only for a finite period of time; I'm heading for retirement in a couple of years).
So while my impulse is to avoid the potential IPO or merger, the corporate world is merger-happy anyway, so there's no guarantee there isn't a merger in your future at the other place, either.
So I'd have a mild preference for (2) because no planned / imminent sale or IPO. But what do you mean by "six direct reports" -- six bosses? Or six people reporting TO you? If the latter, that's good experience to have on your resume and another reason to prefer (2). If the former -- sounds like too many chefs in the kitchen to me.
In situations where I have management responsibility I always try to ask questions about whether I have authority commensurate with my level of responsibility, or if I'm hamstrung in some way by Policy or Process, which corporations tend to favor over actually getting things done or, importantly, just doing the Right Thing. To me there's nothing worse than being responsible for something without authority. And in that second role, which you say involves [a] chemicals and [b] chaos -- not usually a good combination -- I would want to know that I can take actions needed to bring things under control fairly quickly without a bunch of people second guessing me.
Sometimes in this context a good principle to keep in mind is "things are the way they are because they got that way", meaning, you want to understand the WHY of the chaos ... is it simply inept management by your predecessor, or something systemic, like the company culture cuts all kinds of corners? Sadly you may not fully know until you get there. The people you're talking to may THINK the problem was your predecessor, even while the problem is THEM. You want to sniff out issues like that early on, so you don't get into the position of being blamed for problems coming down from higher levels. You want some sense that they are serious about solving the problem and not just "shaking things up" and hoping it works.
Finally consider the size of he company. I've generally done better working with clients / employers who are smallish, under 100 or even under 50 employees. I find myself in a couple of giant mega-corp roles now because of those blasted mergers. Think about whether you might have less micro-managing and clearer lines of authority and less stress in a smaller firm, preferably a private firm that isn't just grooming itself to be sold but is focusing on adding real value. Your mileage will vary with your personality and your industry, but it's something to think about.
...So now I have two job offers and not sure which to go to and how to prepare with leaving my current job. Its amazing, both are managment positions and could be good career moves. Since I'm se sensitive to being ignored, it will be a good lesson as I go into management to not be that manager (only talk to my favorites or other directors so they can get ahead). Still, how do I reset (besides washing my hands of bad decision making at the job I'm leaving)? How will I know which job would be the right move at this time in my life.
I say the right choice of the two is the one where you will be most comfortable, even if it means less compensation.
As for resetting, I think getting as much rest as possible between now and when you start your new job is important.
I'm going off topic here to address a deeper issue. Recovery from on-the-job PTSD requires more than a change of venue. It requires healing or similar problems will accompany you into your next venture.
It's an unfortunate fact. We have problems, even misbehavior, from others that thwart our good intentions. It's tempting, even seems crucial, to focus on them. In doing so we fail to address what damaged our self-protection, our resilience. That's a part of ourselves we can heal and improve.
This comes to mind as last night I was reading from Carl Jung and the many astute quotes he has given us about our Shadow side.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.” (Carl Jung)
Please do consider some time to take care of yourself before you re-enter the working world. Right now you need a door to healing.
Interesting application of Jung. It seems accurate, but might lead to the long way around the barn. The core appears to be a self-esteem issue. Leaving a job for cause involves a certain amount of introspection, but with functioning self-esteem there is a larger component of "screw them, and their stupid problems, time to move on."
There are any number of management books that might be as helpful as psychological counseling here. The self-esteem issues are being triggered by not fully understanding competence and incompetence in management. This knowledge is particularly important if the OP is considering a position with a larger supervisory role. Once a person recognizes that a self-esteem issue is being triggered by the issues of someone incompetent at their job, those issues tend to evaporate on their own.
I will say that a strong sense of self-worth is vital if planning to supervise others. Part of that involves understanding one's shadow, but a greater need is to not take on the shadows of other employees or bosses.
I understand that healing is a necessary luxury some feel they cannot afford. Perhaps we've all ignored early warning signs of trouble down the road and pushed through because "that's how you do it and money is important." We know there's got to be a balance between self-care and making a living.
Sometimes that gets out of whack for a while and it takes longer to prepare to return to work. I say this because of the general reluctance to put self first in these situations. What will people think? It means I am broken, weak? I'll get behind, etc.
If it's just a blip in our normal struggle of getting it right, we may not suffer consequences from diving right in again. If it's more than that - a warning sign that something needs addressing, it is well to heed it the first time it catches our attention
So I'm thinking we don't know what "a mental breakdown, of sorts" means in this context. It doesn't clearly define how that was determined. Was there hospitalization or a diagnosis? Was a remedy prescribed? Is it being followed with success?
Or was it a tantrum at work, a weekend of tears and some anger? Or something in-between?
Since mental health issues are currently of deep concern everywhere and often hidden those would be worth exploring before I could give any suggestions.
Either that or I'm a hammer and everything looks like you-know-what. LOL
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