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The greatest predictor of happiness / a sense of meaning & purpose is the presence of love and affirmation / validation in your life, in some form or other. And by that, I don't necessarily mean an intimate partner / lover. In fact overall it's easier to find belonging and shared purpose with more casual, simpler relationships without all the complicated cross-currents and undertows. If you're hindered by social anxiety or awkwardness, then reading or therapy in that area and practice should lead you to find interesting activities you can share with others, without the huge expectations and neediness you probably tend to project toward any potential romantic partner. You can then work on becoming the kind of person you'd like to be with someday, and then, paradoxically, you'll probably attract them to yourself.
What a great post! I hope the OP takes your advice.
Do you have hobbies? Things you enjoy doing? I know, that sort of thing or having a social life can be difficult if you're working nights and the activities you want to do/people you would spend time with will want to do so in the evening when you're maybe getting ready for work, not having time for events. But I would start there. Defining your happiness/"meaning" by other people can go south pretty quickly; people can let you down and if your whole self-worth is based on them, you'll be unhappy often. If, however, there are things that matter to you that will still be there when a significant other dumps you, a friend is busy, a family member doesn't pick up the phone (or, you're in lockdown during a pandemic...)... that will work out far better for you.
A lot of people don't live exciting lives, don't have their dream jobs, see their work as just a means to an end (paycheck), don't live the lives they would like to, etc. (And that's not even counting the people struggling to make ends meet with several jobs, who literally do not have the time/money/health/whatever to do more.) That's why life is often considered a "rat race." Yup, it sucks.
I recommend listening to (podcasts on YouTube) or reading Dr. Jordan Peterson. He talks alot about meaning...
you are young at 30. Not sure how many of us were solid in our path even then...do things that you enjoy and make you feel good (and are legal? LOL).....it comes......
Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient.
Find some friends. Join a club, or a baseball team, or something to get yourself involved with other people. Bowling!!!! go to the gym....ride your bike.....you get the drift....
I hear a lot about Jordan Peterson, so time I start listening to him and read his book.
I hear a lot about Jordan Peterson, so time I start listening to him and read his book.
Jordan Peterson a bit of a kook. Some of his messaging is palatable, but he has some fringe conservative viewpoints. The algorithms on YouTube send a lot of clips of his to my feed, which I typically ignore. He tends to resonate with the young men demographic who are struggling with things like relationships, career, etc. In other words, vulnerable men seeking out answers. He doesn't seem as predatory as some of those "self-help" gurus for lost young men, but I do tend to take what he says with a grain of salt. If you enjoy the "just pull yourself up by the bootstraps" type of messaging, then you might enjoy a lot of what he has to say.
Jordan Peterson a bit of a kook. Some of his messaging is palatable, but he has some fringe conservative viewpoints. The algorithms on YouTube send a lot of clips of his to my feed, which I typically ignore. He tends to resonate with the young men demographic who are struggling with things like relationships, career, etc. In other words, vulnerable men seeking out answers. He doesn't seem as predatory as some of those "self-help" gurus for lost young men, but I do tend to take what he says with a grain of salt. If you enjoy the "just pull yourself up by the bootstraps" type of messaging, then you might enjoy a lot of what he has to say.
Well, based on this analysis I would pass. I'll take a look, but maybe not a deep dive if that's his audience.
First you have a job. It's usually to find another current working one. All is not lost you are not condemned.
Second is sometimes one has to be satisfied being able to care of one self which proves difficult for too many. Life is not about a wall of awards, degrees, 2,3 kids and/or a white picket fence.
Keep working and yes invest money when possible, plant the seeds of a new job/career with courses, part time work etc. If your biggest issue is a malaise you are doing something right.
Well, based on this analysis I would pass. I'll take a look, but maybe not a deep dive if that's his audience.
I think it's only fair to give him a look. I don't think he's the worst flavor out there. But from my perspective, he comes across as a right-wing blowhard who is dismissive to systemic problems.
I think it's only fair to give him a look. I don't think he's the worst flavor out there. But from my perspective, he comes across as a right-wing blowhard who is dismissive to systemic problems.
I don't mind the right wing part, since I identify (my woke word of the day) as right wing. I may not be as extreme as he is, but I know surprisingly little about him. Never listened to him.
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go to the gym....ride your bike.....you get the drift....
