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I just had my first appointment with a (Ph.D) psychologist yesterday, seeking short-term, solution-oriented counseling/therapy for some unresolved grief from recent losses as well as help making some major life decisions I'm currently facing and need to make SOON. I made it clear this was what I was after and that both my time and resources are limited.
However, I find I'm already frustrated with the pace and process.
The first "hour" turned out to be only 45 minutes, and that will be the norm. The entire time was taken up (beyond social niceties, which took up some) with questioning me about my distant past. At my age, that's ancient history! The goal is to get to know me and have a historic framework for future work, which is fine, but the questioning took FOREVER. The questions were asked very slowly, with lots of filler and examples given for each and pauses after for notetaking. Toward the end, I began anticipating the question (it wasn't hard) and jumping in with the answer to save time but, even so, we got no further than college, and I'm a senior citizen! I doubt the next hour will get us up to date, either, so there's two weeks and two payments, if not three, before we even begin to touch on my reason for showing up. These changes I'm contemplating and need help with need to happen within the next weeks and months, not years from now, even if I had the money!
In my view, a history could have been given in my own words in half the time OR a questionnaire sent out ahead of the appointment, if there are specific areas that needed to be covered. Even if we DID jump right into my immediate issues, there's a lot to unload and unpack in the last few months alone, and I'm not sure 45 minutes a week is going to cut it. To use an analogy, it feels like a "hobby" pace, and it needs to be my full-time job.
Is this method normal? Again, I signed up for short-term/goal-oriented therapy; not psychoanalysis (I actually had that in the distant past and could just tell him what the conclusion was to save time). Am I justified in being concerned that this method isn't going to achieve my goals? Is there another kind of therapist or therapy I should be seeking instead? It's quite discouraging, because I spent days choosing this one from a long list (I chose a "Dr." both for the validity of the credentials and the fact that it's partially covered by my insurance, whereas lesser-degreed "counseling" often isn't).
I do plan to discuss my concern with him next appointment, but -- again -- that will only take up time and set back progress even more!
Last edited by otterhere; 02-15-2022 at 01:48 PM..
Usually the first consultation is free and it's on the phone, for about 30 min. You say what you want to work on, for what you need help. And the psychotherapist asks a few questions to see if he/she can actually help you. If they don't offer you this on the phone, first, free consultation...then, they usually have a questionnaire online, that you fill out before you go there. You print the forms and go for the first session with it. They read in 2 min and then start to talk to you.
Short-term means about 4-8 max sessions. After each session you should feel better.
From my experience, as a patient, the short-term therapy can be very useful. You might want to try another practitioner. I did not continued with my first. I tried a few, some were not a good fit for me. Two of them were a complete disaster!
In my experience, I had a therapist similar to as you described. I ended after a couple sessions and found someone that was a better fit at the time. The second one didn't have all the forms/feel like a slow progress in the beginning. We just addressed what was the most immediate challenge. I wouldn't say it's typical necessarily (your current therapist), but a certain style of doing things.
I think what caught my attention in your post is you said, "However, I find I'm already frustrated with the pace and process. I need help making some major life decisions I'm currently facing and need to make SOON. I made it clear this was what I was after and that both my time and resources are limited."
When I had this feeling with a therapist it was a feeling of not being the right match (intuitive/gut feeling). It is important to find someone that "clicks" with you and is on the same page so you can get the support you need.
I think what I would do is have an initial call (free) 10 minutes with another therapist in the meantime and sorta interview them and get a feel if you "click" better with someone else or not, before you jump ship. I think that well help you make a decision on whether you should communicate to your current therapist or move forward with a better match.
He did require that I fill out pages of paperwork before the appointment, including experiences with counseling/therapy, any diagnoses or issues in the past, current medications, etc., which should have more than sufficed for what I'm interested in.
I'm not sure where my father worked or how my parents met is really germane...
He did require that I fill out pages of paperwork before the appointment, including experiences with counseling/therapy, any diagnoses or issues in the past, current medications, etc., which should have more than sufficed for what I'm interested in.
I'm not sure where my father worked or how my parents met is really germane...
Did it occur to you that having you go through all that paperwork isn't only for the therapist's benefit? It can also help clarify what YOU think you want out of the upcoming work. Reviewing all the previous therapy requires a sort of re-cap. Maybe not the part about your father's employment, but that does speak to early family history which in turn does affect the adult who develops because of it.
I am extremely clear as to what I want out of this experience (and I didn't object to the paperwork; the parental questions were part of the life review in conversation, as I said).
I have a MSW and what happened isn’t solution focused short therapy. You should have started the current session with what’s going on now with your life.
I have a MSW and what happened isn’t solution focused short therapy. You should have started the current session with what’s going on now with your life.
I agree, and I made my goal clear from the first email. Is it worth trying to clarify - again - and get him on board, or should I just bail and look for someone or something else? Would a clinical social worker be more efficient and effective in addressing my needs? This first encounter makes me think ANYTHING we do would be done at this "glacial" pace!
You haven't been to any kind of counselling in your life before, I gather.
If the psych doesn't know you then they can't help you with your needs and wants in mind.
Go to your community health center and ask for a counselor. That should be low cost and help at the same time so you won't be in rush. These things take time. I think in some cases the help is free.
He did require that I fill out pages of paperwork before the appointment, including experiences with counseling/therapy, any diagnoses or issues in the past, current medications, etc., which should have more than sufficed for what I'm interested in.
I'm not sure where my father worked or how my parents met is really germane...
Tell him therapy is not meeting your expectations and you must make decisions where time is of the essence.
I've been to several therapists, though, and all of them ask the background questions. I found the cognitive behavioral therapy approach most effective. 6-8 wks with once a week sessions.
Perhaps you don't need a therapist, but someone from an agency that deals with older individuals who can help you navigate next steps.
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