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Originally Posted by Alexad1133
I’ve been always energetic in a different way. Since I was a child I would be active most of the day and I used to sleep late and wake up active in the morning. As I remember, I would always return from the school active and full of energy while the other kids would feel sleepy. I would sleep only for 5-6 hours. It wasn’t a trauma since I never allowed anyone to bully me and my early childhood was beautiful and I was taken care of in all aspects. I was raised to love, accept and protect whoever was in need.
I was always seen as an awkward because of this. I could solve most of the issues, physically and mentally without taking much time.. but I’ve been ignored. Then as the time goes, I grew and went through puberty(earlier than most) and my sex drive is high in an abnormal way too. My sex drive is still high and active like a teenager and I’m aroused 24/7. Sadly, I don’t seem to understand the source of my energy.
I’ve searched a lot and it has no relationship to trauma because I never had a severe traumatizing experience that caused this change. All I remember that it occurred naturally.. But no one seems to understand this.. I even tried many different therapies and nothing has changed.
I’ve been hurt by this. I would stay alone because no one would stay active all day. I’ve tried literally everything and nothing worked to stop this but each time I would get more active. I tried fasting and my energy increased. I’ve done checkups and nothing was abnormal but the doctors would say I’m healthy.
I’m just curious. Is it possible that genetics has such an influence?
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Interesting question you pose, OP. I have also been possessed (until very recently) with a seemingly unending source of energy; however, I would consider my sex drive as typical throughout my life.
I used to think that my 'childhood trauma,' oldest female in an often violent, alcoholic family, where I had to essentially raise my sisters and brother (or at least, take care of them and make sure my mother didn't burn the house down) and which created a chronic generalized anxiety disorder, was the source of 'all my energy.' But I have been this way my whole life, so I think that's really only part of it. Energy is my God given gift, if you believe in that sort of thing.
I found this 'quality' most troublesome in work environments. In addition to having energy, I am conscientious and a bit of a perfectionist. I ask questions, I want to do things the right way, if interested in a particular topic, I'll do my best to learn all there is to learn about it, etc. When I first started at a very high pressure job, people told me rumor had it that I was 'on something' because I was so engaged, asked alot of questions, etc. I was horrified!!! That particular job turned out to be my best job in life...the one I loved the most, and to want to excel at that, with that accusation floating in the background, well....you probably know how that feels.
In another position, at the same organization, a LT. supposedly referred to me as 'high maintenance,' because if I had nothing to do, I would ask him for things to do. AYFS?? I never liked that guy. He used to wear his pants hiked up to his nipples.
And when I moved to VT and suffered the depression of changing to a completely new environment, I had a counselor tell me (yes, she said this), "you might be too much sunshine for some people."
I had to let that go and, as was typical for me, just did my best in whatever work I engaged in. Not my problem that I sometimes seemed to make people look bad because I have enthusiasm and interest. Jeez.
Unless this is interfering with your life, OP, I say you do you. If it's troubling you, go talk to a professional and see if some further assessment is needed. I've done this one and off in my life. It is not ME. It is THEM.
This is the way I am. Stay strong. sorry this is so long but I can totally relate.