Scoffing at "weirdness" makes no sense (inability, narcissistic, men)

[pathrunner]

Originally Posted by Phil75230

The belligerent person is probably more of a threat than an eccentric oddball. It's ultimately not a matter of whether it makes sense to the majority. The issue is whether that behavior signals a deliberate effort to hurt or demean others. If it isn't doing so, then it's hard for me to see how that can signal potentially dangerous behavior. At most, they probably deserve counseling or medication (although we should be careful here, because sexual orientation and gender identity used to be considered dangerous in the not so distant past).

In fact, my inspiration for this thread is precisely the social and professional changes that (very justifiably) shifted from "deviant" to "normal" differences in sexual orientations and gender identities. If society proved be so off-the-mark so about stigmatizing these two identities, then why not about other matters, even in 2022? In fact, neurodiversity is getting more and more attention in recent years. Thus, there's a campaign to destigmatize high-functioning autism and probably other kinds of mental differences, too.

I will likely be excoriated for this: I am experiencing an issue in the workplace with a high-functioning neurodiverse person. I can tell that management doesn't know how to solve it. They have rights, as wel they should, but in my mind not when it interferes with efficiency and employee morale. This particular person targets other employees and it's unpredictable. In my mind, it goes beyond "special needs" and into potentially dangerous territory. And when it affects the ability of more than one other employee to do a good job because they are upset, that's not good either.

[treemoni]

It's so hard for some people to ignore others. Many "problems" can be solved instantly if people exercised their right to mind their own business.

[modest]

Originally Posted by pathrunner

I will likely be excoriated for this: I am experiencing an issue in the workplace with a high-functioning neurodiverse person. I can tell that management doesn't know how to solve it. They have rights, as wel they should, but in my mind not when it interferes with efficiency and employee morale. This particular person targets other employees and it's unpredictable. In my mind, it goes beyond "special needs" and into potentially dangerous territory. And when it affects the ability of more than one other employee to do a good job because they are upset, that's not good either.

If the outcomes from someone's abnormal or "weird" behavior are having a serious, quantifiable, and detrimental impact on others, then it's a credible risk. Wouldn't you agree?

If your colleague simply had some quirks like a weird dress style, but was an otherwise productive and compatible member of the team, there'd probably be nothing more than an acknowledgement that they're quirky or different without much ado.

[Phil75230]

Originally Posted by pathrunner

I will likely be excoriated for this: I am experiencing an issue in the workplace with a high-functioning neurodiverse person. I can tell that management doesn't know how to solve it. They have rights, as wel they should, but in my mind not when it interferes with efficiency and employee morale. This particular person targets other employees and it's unpredictable. In my mind, it goes beyond "special needs" and into potentially dangerous territory. And when it affects the ability of more than one other employee to do a good job because they are upset, that's not good either.

Originally Posted by modest

If the outcomes from someone's abnormal or "weird" behavior are having a serious, quantifiable, and detrimental impact on others, then it's a credible risk. Wouldn't you agree?

If your colleague simply had some quirks like a weird dress style, but was an otherwise productive and compatible member of the team, there'd probably be nothing more than an acknowledgement that they're quirky or different without much ado.

In all fairness, if the person truly does damage the workplace morale by consciously and deliberately causing non-defensive hurt, harm, or degradation of others dignity (that includes deliberate sabotage of co-worker's work) -- then there is a substantive problem.

By contrast, if that low morale comes from the co-workers having a mere personal distaste of style/aesthetics alone, then the co-workers would be wise to adjust their attitudes. If a 1980s-90s workforce had to adjust to openly gay or lesbian cowoerkers, then they can adjust to a strikingly odd eccentric behavior (namely by questioning whether traditional definitions of "abnormal" and "socially unacceptable" behavior actually make sense, as opposed to being just cultural upbringing or conditioning).

[CorporateCowboy]

Originally Posted by modest

Who is to say what is weird or not weird? Is being gay weird? Some seem to think so. Is going to church and praying to an invisible deity weird? Some seem to think that as well.

Homosexuality was never (even) part of the discussion, was it? The OP was speaking to public behavior; and while I would never pray to a nonexistent (although you say invisible) deity, I think the majority of people wouldn’t find it socially awkward/weird for one to do so in a church. Is that not the place for it?

That said, all of us have thoughts regarding what we feel is weird/aggressive/socially inept behavior - particularly relative to our personal interaction with friends, (potential) dates/relationships, colleagues, family and so on. I consider social intelligence to be a key factor in one’s psychological health.

[Phil75230]

Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy

Homosexuality was never (even) part of the discussion, was it? The OP was speaking to public behavior; and while I would never pray to a nonexistent (although you say invisible) deity, I think the majority of people wouldn’t find it socially awkward/weird for one to do so in a church. Is that not the place for it?

That said, all of us have thoughts regarding what we feel is weird/aggressive/socially inept behavior - particularly relative to our personal interaction with friends, (potential) dates/relationships, colleagues, family and so on. I consider social intelligence to be a key factor in one’s psychological health.

I brought up homosexuality (and transgenderism) because both used to be considered "weird" (and even worse). The point being that the contemporary majority can be wrong about certain things. If the societies of the past can be wrong about how they sized up the worth of LGBTQ+, then it's quite possible for present-day society to be wrong about other, highly disrespected, types of people. 1980, 2022, even any year future to ours -- makes no difference.

[modest]

Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy

Homosexuality was never (even) part of the discussion, was it? The OP was speaking to public behavior; and while I would never pray to a nonexistent (although you say invisible) deity, I think the majority of people wouldn’t find it socially awkward/weird for one to do so in a church. Is that not the place for it?

That said, all of us have thoughts regarding what we feel is weird/aggressive/socially inept behavior - particularly relative to our personal interaction with friends, (potential) dates/relationships, colleagues, family and so on. I consider social intelligence to be a key factor in one’s psychological health.

In the context of this discussion, yes. Some would describe those attributes/behaviors or whatever you want to refer to them as, as "weird".

None of these things bother me though, not even the things that I don't personally agree with. Again, my only criteria as I've outlined before is that as long as they're not forcing anything on others against their wills, harming anyone else, or causing destruction to property, it is completely irrelevant to me. At the end of the day, all I hope for is that people are doing what makes them happy in this life.

[treemoni]

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

Really, the only time my hackles go up is if I perceive the person might be dangerous. Sometimes that perception comes right away, other times, it's a perception that comes with time, and being around that person.

...and sometimes that "perception" is just wrong, and people need to be honest with themselves about what they're doing and why they're doing it. I'm going to share a personal example (something I don't do much of anymore because...reasons ) that's related to psychology.


I was recently in a taxpayer-funded research facility doing work. I knew why I was there and only needed help getting to a specific part of the building. Once inside, I asked for directions and proceeded to go where I needed. Other people were inside doing work and there was plenty of room for me to get comfortable without encroaching on someone else's "personal" space, so I sat in a far corner and set up my workspace. Well whaddaya know? After a while, an employee (she wasn't wearing anything identifying her as such but it was clear that's who she was) sat right next to me and started "working". I looked at her when she sat down but continued to mind my business because I was there for a reason. She ended up sitting next to me until I left, huffing and puffing every 5-10 minutes and shaking nervously in her seat...obviously annoyed that she had to babysit me. I got annoyed at her huffing and puffing after a while. The facility had plenty of room to accommodate her without her sitting next to me, but she chose to sit next to me. And she had the right to do that. But she and I both know why she was there, and she was visibly feeling some type of way about it. Me being me...I started to ask her directly if she worked there, but I decided to leave it alone. Why give her a reaction, which is what she wants? Instead, I did my best to ignore her (really hard with someone huffing and puffing everyone 5-10 minutes). I let her sit in her own nervous energy without saying a word. The best outcome would be for her to realize how ridiculous she was being, but people who act on their "perceptions" like that don't tend to reflect in those ways.


This is not an isolated incident, and it's quite annoying for me...minding my own business in taxpayer-funded places where people are annoyed at me for simply being there...but I just have to deal. They aren't going to change, and they are waiting for me to react so I can absorb all their negative energy and take on their emotional burden (of being ridiculous people for monitoring someone who is minding their own business). It's not easy. But you gotta let those people sit in their own discomfort. All that time wasted watching little ol' me. Guess she didn't have any real work to do.....

[CorporateCowboy]

Originally Posted by elnina

Being just weird and behaving socially unacceptable are two different things.

Perhaps you should define them first because I am not sure what you want to discuss.

I absolutely agree; this is my point as well.

Originally Posted by Phil75230

A) A typical intoxicated "belligerent drunk" college-aged party animal at a bar who otherwise has at least slightly above average social skills.

B) A non-intoxicated (in any shape or form) who is in a park, intending to get in a super-excited state of mind by listening to music on his phone, then runs around and yells like a hyperactive excited four year old child.

Your examples are relative to that which is considered ‘socially unacceptable’ (and potentially threatening/actionable as well).

Originally Posted by Phil75230

I brought up homosexuality (and transgenderism) because both used to be considered "weird" (and even worse). The point being that the contemporary majority can be wrong about certain things.

Most people don’t even know/notice (or care) someone on the street who is gay, why would they bother to ‘scoff’ at such? Hence, at the end of the day, it’s relative to one’s social intelligence and psychological health.

It is natural to assess/notice (sans scoffing) publicly erratic or aggressive behavior.

[modest]

Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy

Most people don’t even know/notice (or care) someone on the street who is gay, why would they bother to ‘scoff’ at such? Hence, at the end of the day, it’s relative to one’s social intelligence and psychological health.

I don't doubt it in San Francisco. . The Castro District is world renowned.

Sentiments can be very different in places like the Midwest, the Heartland, or rural areas, where these sorts of lifestyles or behaviors aren't as widely accepted or tolerated.

I know that you believe this to be an absurd, anti-intellectual reaction, as do I. But it happens, and it happens quite a bit depending on what part of the world you live in. In certain parts of the world, people of the LGBTQ community are still heavily persecuted.