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In a professional workplace it usually IS related to anger or frustration. Its a lack of control.
It can be, if relative to a lack of control - absolutely; point being, it would be addressed as ineffective communication with or without cursing, particularly if a regular occurrence. That said, obviously, anger doesn’t always play into the equation; many may throw in a curse word here or there as part of typical conversation. Hence the importance of context as well as the type of (professional) environment.
If you can understand what the person is saying, it's not ineffective. You may not like it, but it's not ineffective. And it may even be MORE effective than beating around the bush. Expecting someone to know what you're talking about when you're not being direct is ineffective. Maybe I don't have the context for your worldview and assuming I do is rather self-centered. Again, it seems like some of you can stand to benefit from knowing the difference between actual problems vs. imaginary problems.
If you can understand what the person is saying, it's not ineffective. You may not like it, but it's not ineffective. And it may even be MORE effective than beating around the bush.
There’s a difference between being direct or assertive vs. aggressive/angry/cursing, particularly professionally i.e. the latter may not be respected or taken seriously. People tend to tune out (or take a defensive stance against) the latter or judge one as being less (socially) intelligent; hence it’s a documentable form of ineffective communication in terms of resolution relative to a professional environment - or a personal one, for that matter except it’s (far) easier to be wrapped in our emotion relative to the latter.
If you tune someone out that's your choice and has nothing to do with another person no matter how much you think it does. Take responsibilty for how YOU choose to handle a situation. I've never assumed someone was less intelligent because they use profanity. Shock, perhaps. But there are a lot of slick talkers who are full of crap. Being able to speak the king's English shows you are well-trained. That's all it says. You ascribe meaning to it because that's how YOU think. Own your biases.
I hear you and disagree. I'm sure many people here have done WAY WORSE than posting a few curse words on a forum. Way, way worse. Immoral people love to get on a high horse about trivial things. Some people feel a way because they "follow the rules" and think other people are getting away with something they aren't willing to shoulder the risk for. Sometimes they don't even desire to do the thing they're casting judgment on. They just don't like that another person has the audacity to do it. Sounds like a personal psychological issue.
Note: my response is taking into account multiple behaviors I witness here and isn't just in response to you. Spend more time becoming the person YOU want to be instead of getting others to mold themselves into who you WANT them to be. The former is much, much harder.
That is a strange argument. Yes, people have done way worse than say bad words on a forum or anywhere else.
But the fact that mass murderers have existed does not mean that somebody who goes around punching people is ok because he hasn't killed anybody. The whole, "some have done worse, so merely kinda bad social behavior...well, it's relatively fine..." Not so much.
But these social rules do in fact tend to be enforced in a lot of spaces, this forum included. If you strongly believe that everyone here should have the right to post profanity and anyone who doesn't like it should leave, take that argument to the site's ownership and see how far it gets you. It's their house. Not yours, not mine.
And if two people are in a crowded family restaurant, and one of them wants to loudly spout profanity and vulgarity and another one does not, and each thinks that the other should just leave...who do you think is gonna get asked to leave? Which one? The one using the loud obnoxious language or the one quietly trying to enjoy their meal?
Furthermore, when someone who is behaving in a loud and belligerent way (which is what spouting profanity in inappropriate settings is) is asked to stop or to leave...9 times out of 10 they don't say, "oh, sorry, I didn't realize I was bothering you"...they take it as a glorious opportunity to start an escalated conflict, up to and including violence. To further assert themselves.
They know damn well that in loudly being profane or vulgar in setting where most people don't and aren't, they are trying to assert that THEIR presence and preferences count more than everybody else's. They are trying to take up space. And before you try to ask me how I'd know...I'd know. I've been that teenager and I've known plenty of people from that point well on up to adults--and drunk adults, a category I've got more experience with than I'd like, are prime offenders in this regard. But it's not really an effective power play, it's not cool or edgy. It's immature bully behavior.
Mind we don't blend this thread with the other one about "talking black" either, because they are not the same conversation. I've known plenty of people of color who don't want to hear a bunch of f-this and f-that any more than a white person might, and plenty of foul mouthed white people, too. Self control and courtesy, and being raised with some manners, that stuff is not about class or "the King's English."
I won't much respond to your talk about minding my own behavior, because first of all I do see that you're using the rhetorical "you"...but also because in any given moment I generally am doing that, I'm living my life with a determination to be as considerate and respectful to other people around me as I can. And not just, nor even especially, those in positions of relative social power either.
Sorry Sonic, not reading all that. This has gone from general cursing to being about cursing on the forum--which is what the topic was probably always about. The psychological issue here is that some people don't like those who reflect their poor qualities back to them. This is more about those people being uncomfortable with someone who causes them to think about how THEY see the world. If I don't see the world as you do and don't agree with your view, something must be wrong with either me or you. Facing the fact that something may be wrong with YOU and not the person you're trying to force to see things your way is tough. But you can choose to respect the difference. The problem is, you don't respect it. And why is that? Rhetorical.
I will not be entertaining any more posts about cursing on the forum. That's not what the OP was about.
Sorry Sonic, not reading all that. This has gone from general cursing to being about cursing on the forum--which is what the topic was probably always about. The psychological issue here is that some people don't like those who reflect their poor qualities back to them. This is more about those people being uncomfortable with someone who causes them to think about how THEY see the world. If I don't see the world as you do and don't agree with your view, something must be wrong with either me or you. Facing the fact that something may be wrong with YOU and not the person you're trying to force to see things your way is tough. But you can choose to respect the difference. The problem is, you don't respect it. And why is that? Rhetorical.
I will not be entertaining any more posts about cursing on the forum. That's not what the OP was about.
I was talking about cursing in general, and how I think it just really depends on the situation. This is a situation, it's just one example of many possible ones.
But it occurred to me after I replied this last time, that a bit of "check myself" thinking was in order, because in a way (a point on which you're right, here)... Like I don't really go around expecting other people to care what I think. Caring about the comfort of strangers...well, it boils down to social or antisocial behavior. We all get to make those choices. Where anything I've said in this thread holds any weight at all is simply in the choices that I make for my own behavior, the things I tried to teach my kids when I was raising them, and the reasons behind either.
I might have opinions about what random strangers in the world do, but who cares? It would be a bit silly and a waste of effort, if I expected them to. If they care about the comfort of other people around them, they probably are not behaving in socially objectionable ways, so if they are cussing up a storm in the middle of a grocery store or family restaurant, they obviously don't care what anyone thinks of them anyhow.
Giving them some kind of reaction, is just playing their game, probably. /shrug
Because when I see this behavior, I feel like either they are being immature and edgy and therefore want attention, or they are trying to initiate conflict by setting up a situation where they might be confronted.
Its not considered part of normal discourse. Slurs related to bigotry like the N word or the other F word are not considered acceptable. gd is an affront to many religious people.
Yeah...that's a phrase I never say. I also hardly ever say "OMG" or any form like that. I was taught to never use the Lord's name in vain, and I just can't bring myself to use 'God' in casual conversation.
Giving them some kind of reaction, is just playing their game, probably. /shrug
Because when I see this behavior, I feel like either they are being immature and edgy and therefore want attention, or they are trying to initiate conflict by setting up a situation where they might be confronted.
Yes, I have also learned that a lot of people believe others are doing things for nefarious reasons when they are just being themselves. I suppose one comes to think that way if those are the people they hang around or they, themselves, have "acted out" for attention. I don't see curse words as threatening unless someone is actually threatening me.
Yes, I have also learned that a lot of people believe others are doing things for nefarious reasons when they are just being themselves. I suppose one comes to think that way if those are the people they hang around or they, themselves, have "acted out" for attention. I don't see curse words as threatening unless someone is actually threatening me.
Do you have any thoughts about the fact that there are places of business that would throw you out if you were loudly using a lot of profanity?
You seem to be saying that one's right to do so should be greater than anyone's wish to be in ANY space without a lot of profanity, and if anyone doesn't like it, they should "leave."
So there should be no spaces where a family can take kids and not have them hearing endless shouting of profanity, outside of their home? Not a playground, a family friendly restaurant, a grocery store?
I mean, worth noting, on the same level of social/antisocial behavior, when I had small kids I kept THEM from being a public nuisance, which I strongly believe that parents have an obligation to do. But it's like, my part of the deal in a restaurant is to keep my munchkins from running wild and bothering other people, then other people could refrain from cussing up a storm.
And yeah, like it or not, there are certainly places where acting like that will get you removed from the setting. I'm just a bit ??? about the idea that you seem to think that profanity is fine everywhere. But when I set out an example (like, here) you just go "I won't respond to that" and tell me you won't read my post because too many words or something. Then try and turn it all around to a pokey little attack on my character like you're gonna bait me into defending myself. OK, well, ~I~ am opting out, I will not reply to any "you're probably just a bad person" implied or explicit type of commentary. Good day.
So if you got kicked out of somewhere for cussing like a sailor, how would you react to that?
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