Quote:
Originally Posted by treemoni
This is said a lot, but there's an air of "we'll punish you" to it. Which is fine. But without having the entire picture or story (as is often the case), be careful who you decide to punish.
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I'm not personally in much of a position to punish anybody. I'm not a mod on any website. I'm not a boss of anyone at any place of business. Even my own kids are grown now. The only thing I still have is what anyone and everyone has, the freedom to engage or disengage. That's all. I typically prefer engagement, which is a big part of why it matters to me to respect the boundaries of other people. I can hardly chase them around demanding engagement, if I've bothered them enough that they have chosen to disengage with me, after all!
My kid, as I mentioned in an earlier post way up the thread somewhere, when he was like 7 or 8 years old, got banned from a friend's house because he was saying words that were not permitted in their family and the parents heard him. He knew their rules, and he disregarded them, and there were consequences. Knowing that family, I think it's very likely that he'd been warned before, though I don't remember (it's been quite a while now.) I felt bad for him, because he was miserable. His brother would still go over there, and their other friends would, and he could not join in. He cried. But he needed to learn that when you are in someone else's space, you do have to follow their rules, or you may not be welcome. None of us has the right or entitlement to be in another person's space, especially if we show them disrespect. So while he had my sympathy on an emotional level, I absolutely supported their decision.
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