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You know the type.
Size and weight comparison.
Skin comparison.
I suppose it could be beneficial from a psychological standpoint.
"I may not be a model type knockout but at least I'm not a pimple faced fatty".
"I may have a little bit of a spare tire going on but that guy over there has a belly so large that he can't see his feet.
Are you one?
And taking it one step further.
In social gatherings or even picking friends, do you surround yourself with people that may not be as aesthetically pleasing to the eye but it makes you feel better about your appearance?
I think pretty much everyone compares themselves to others, it's just a matter of degree. I like to say everything is relative. Eg. using a sports analogy, in baseball if your batting average is .300, that means you basically fail 7 out of 10 times you try. However, when you realize most players fail at least 7.5 times out of 10, you're deemed a success. So success is determined based on how you perform compared to others. I think it's just human nature but there comes a point (different for everyone) where it does become unhealthy.
In a way life is like sports in that success is defined by society when comparing your situation to others. However, it's also different in that you have the power to define what you consider successful and also whether you are happy or not. In sports if you aren't successful you won't be playing for long, but in life if you're not successful according to society's standards, you can still consider yourself a success and be happy. I've known people who are in their 30s or older, single, no kids, live at home, and whose main hobby is playing video games, who seem happy as can be. So while they might not be considered "successful" when compared to others, they are happy, which to me is all that really matters.
To answer your second question, no. I don't chose my friends based on appearances.
No, I'm not one of them and I don't understand the point of your post. What is the reason for posting it? Are you just looking for something petty to complain about or are you really wanting to know if other people on this board are the same as the people you are criticizing? Do you really expect anyone here to confess "yes, I'm one of those deplorable, mean spirited people and I'm proud of it"....
Are you having problems and getting bullied or ragged on by other people who fit your above descriptions? Are you looking for helpful suggestion about what to do to make yourself look more aesthetically pleasing to the eyes of the people giving you a rough time about your appearance? Do you want to please those kinds of people?
If you don't want help for yourself and don't want to please those people then again I ask, what is the point of your post? What do you want?
.
I agree. I never understand these sorts of posts and what is hoped by sharing them.
You know the type.
Size and weight comparison.
Skin comparison.
I suppose it could be beneficial from a psychological standpoint.
"I may not be a model type knockout but at least I'm not a pimple faced fatty".
"I may have a little bit of a spare tire going on but that guy over there has a belly so large that he can't see his feet.
Are you one?
And taking it one step further.
In social gatherings or even picking friends, do you surround yourself with people that may not be as aesthetically pleasing to the eye but it makes you feel better about your appearance?
You sure have some odd ideas about things.... and no, we DON'T know the type!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lluvia
You know the type.
They're usually borderline anorexic or totally into fitness but don't hesitate to bring in & load up fellow office workers with high fat high sugar garbage.
They won't dare indulge themselves but love watching you stuff your face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lluvia
You know the type.
There's nothing too small that won't set off an alarm and be reported usually in a high pitched scream or yell.
So why?
Not all children behave this way.
Is it an attempt to get one up on a sibling?
A cry for attention?
Is this behavior something encouraged by the parent perhaps subconsciously?
As a parent, do you encourage or condone mommy button pushing?
I suppose it could be beneficial from a psychological standpoint.
To the contrary, it’s harmful in terms of one’s relationships. It’s evidence of a weak sense of self or purpose as it relies on continual external sources in order to stabilize. Such folks inevitably compare themselves to those who are more attractive, wealthier and so on as well; hence, they must also ridicule/harp on those folks by finding flaws, real or imagined, in order to ‘win’ in every scenario. Hence, it’s a bottomless psychological pit; they’re often perceived as negative, angry and/or needy as they are incapable of adjusting their self-esteem from within (or being happy, in and of itself, with who they are).
Quote:
Originally Posted by irootoo
The problem with comparisons is that they always end up with one person "winning" and one person "losing."
Yeah, and the one who compares is the one who inevitably loses.
Good Lord! I choose my friends based on how much we have in common, and their ability to sustain an interesting conversation. You might be surprised, how rare a quality in the US the ability to have an interesting, stimulating conversation is. If I also had to filter for looks? I'd have virtually no social life or friends.
What if your friends found out you chose them for their inferior looks to make yourself look better by comparison? How do you think they'd feel?
No kidding! I don't even get the luxury of "choosing" friends. It's just who I happen to interact with, live near, have common interests, etc. That's all happenstance. The only "choice" is maybe not going to social events that feature people I'm not comfortable with. But that "comfort" is based on personality, not looks.
Comparing can help, sometimes. We have new neighbors who have become good friends. She is very large on top (and bottom) and goes bra-less. I admit to being shocked. But then I thought, "Well, if SHE can pull it off, maybe I can"....so the upshot is very "freeing".
What is that song: "Conventionality belongs to yesterday...."
(I just discovered this feature on Google---it's Frankie Valley doing "Grease", LOL)
You know the type.
Size and weight comparison.
Skin comparison.
I suppose it could be beneficial from a psychological standpoint.
"I may not be a model type knockout but at least I'm not a pimple faced fatty".
"I may have a little bit of a spare tire going on but that guy over there has a belly so large that he can't see his feet.
Are you one?
And taking it one step further.
In social gatherings or even picking friends, do you surround yourself with people that may not be as aesthetically pleasing to the eye but it makes you feel better about your appearance?
Well, people compare themselves with others for different reasons. To get better, to feel better, to motivate themselves, a really long list really.
You're practically doing it with this post too. You're indirectly comparing yourself with the people who do it for other reasons. What's your reason for doing it?
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