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I guess one of my ex girlfriends was like that. Totally wrong for me. She didn't like people, she came right out and said that. She perfectly normal at first and then went into a deep dark depression, which she seemed to hide from a lot of people, but not me.
I kept breaking up with her, and she kept getting me to forgive her and give her another chance, to the point my friends were refering to her as my kryptonite, and my g-friends were refering to her a my "Big".
The last time she got me back was so slow, controlled and planned it was obvious from start. She was plotting out every step, trying not to spook me. Like trying to build trust with an animal. And instead of being pretty scared(ok I joked to friends about my feet wouldn't move, she had me in her tractor beam, a meduse touch, remarks like that) i was touched in a strange way she was going to all this trouble.
Day one..simple contact, patiently waited off to the side while I was talking to friends to say Hi, once mission accomplished took off like a bat out hell. This after 3 months of silence between us.
Day two..right up in my face, how have you been? I moved, you should see my apartment sometime! You look great btw.
Day three walks by me and pilsberry doe boys me saying "hiya sexy"
At this point my friend Gina is offering to break a leg of mine, for my own good. Knowing what she's put me through before.
Day four: can I get a ride home with you? Making sure I notice landmarks, asked why, told in case ever needs to be picked up, come on pat, we're still friends at least, right?
Day five: don't see her, see girl I hardly ever talked to before starting conversation with me. Conversation leads to her. I look at girl and say "she sent you, why?" Wanted me to feel out how hurt you were, answer "very"
Day 6, can I sit here? Can you give me a ride? Wanna come up? Look how great this apartment is! Hey one across way is available. Look I want you to give me ONE LAST CHANCE.
By day 12 I was asking advice how to slip out gracefully.
The emotional vampire has a strange power over you, like your hypnotized or something. Oddly enough she's not the best looking girl, youngest, sweetest, nothing. That one just has the power, I cannot explain it.
I know these people. Actually, they are really several different subspecies:
1) The hardluck cases. You see these people on the message boards a lot. They are the ones who always are lurching from crisis to crisis, and from bad relationship to bad relationship. But, get this, IT'S NEVER THEIR FAULT. Every time you see a thread titled, "How Come All Men [Or Women] Are Cheaters/Non-Committal?" you know the OP is one of these people, because she/he doesn't have the necessary emotional rigor to analyze why they keep getting into these stupid scrapes/relationships in the first place. If they're in your real life, they always are coming to you because they want your advice. But they really never take it. And if you're the one having problems, just try and get one of them to return your phone calls, for they would be just too bummed by your problems to get involved.
2) The Indignation Brigade. Yep, you know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who disapprove of everybody and everything they say. The fractious types who are ready to seize on even the most innocent remark, deconstructing it so much that even Derrida would scream, "Give it a rest, already!" Their criticisms are typically petty, smug, and generally have to do with some social cause about which they've read in a book but didn't have the energy to really understand. They stand vigilant to critique everybody else's lives, and are relentlessly unforgiving of weaknesses in others--yet forgiving of weakness in their own lives. They are typically exhausting to be around, and usually have iffy hygienic practices. The problem with the Indignation Brigade is that you can't let your guard down for a moment, lest the harpy tries to scratch your eyes out over some unguarded word.
3) The Twelve-Step Program People. By this, I don't mean people who have just been through AA. I mean people who get carried away and think EVERYBODY should go through AA. These are the people who want to talk about their disease at the drop of a hat, never realizing that they've merely traded the addiction of alcohol or drugs for the addiction of talking about themselves non-stop. The only difference is that you can't tell one of these people to kindly shut the Hell up, because that would be--GASP--not supportive. These people will suck the life out of every dinner party and social gathering, eventually monopolizing the event so they can talk about the intrinsic drama of their struggles. People pretend to be interested, but after fifteen minutes, they're clawing for the exits.
4) The Psychology Majors. Not literally. But I'm talking about the ones who are constantly reading yet another self-help tome to make themselves happy. The irony of it all, of course, is that their own narcissism, the same impulse that makes them read countless self-help books, is what makes them unhappy, for they are continuously having to feed the beast of self-actualization. And when they talk to you, what they really want to do is talk about themselves. Finally, it is a terrible thing to be a parent of one of these people, for you will get blamed for the unhappiness of your children, no matter how many gymnastics practices and soccer games you attended, or how many childish whims you fulfilled.
5) The "Getting Back To Me" Crowd. These are the ones who live for themselves at all times. They don't understand simple etiquette and consideration for others. They don't return phone calls or e-mails. They are in it for themselves at all times and in every situation. Typically, they are pretty amoral, but excellent at rationalizing their self-centered actions through the elastic standards of psychobabble. These people can usually be identified by long and belabored explanations for past actions which, when boiled down to essentials, are pretty horrible. Yet, they've managed to prettify things with elaborate justifications. Run from these people as fast as you can, for you are their next victims.
6) The "It's All About Me" Crowd. Slightly different from #5, but worth talking about. They are the ones who think every conversation, every action, every word, or every omission is a reflection on their own presence in the world. These people are typically highly sensitive and spend enormous amounts of time wondering what the boss or the teacher meant by that remark in yesterday's meeting. They will devote endless hours turning over every definite article and participle in search of hidden meaning, and wonder what you think the other person meant by what they said. These people can only be stopped by hitting them upside the head with a 2x4. It's your only hope.
I know these people. Actually, they are really several different subspecies:
1) The hardluck cases. You see these people on the message boards a lot. They are the ones who always are lurching from crisis to crisis, and from bad relationship to bad relationship. But, get this, IT'S NEVER THEIR FAULT. Every time you see a thread titled, "How Come All Men [Or Women] Are Cheaters/Non-Committal?" you know the OP is one of these people, because she/he doesn't have the necessary emotional rigor to analyze why they keep getting into these stupid scrapes/relationships in the first place. If they're in your real life, they always are coming to you because they want your advice. But they really never take it. And if you're the one having problems, just try and get one of them to return your phone calls, for they're just too bummed about by your problems.
2) The Indignation Brigade. Yep, you know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who disapprove of everybody and everything they say. The fractious types who are ready to seize on even the most innocent remark, deconstructing it so much that even Derrida would scream, "Give it a rest, already!" Their criticisms are typically petty, smug, and generally have to do with some social cause that they've read in a book but didn't have the energy to really understand. They are typically exhausting to be around, and usually have iffy hygienic practices.
3) The Twelve-Step Program People. By this, I don't mean people who have just been through AA. I mean people who get carried away and think EVERYBODY should go through AA. These are the people who want to talk about their disease at the drop of a hat, never realizing that they've merely traded the addiction of alcohol or drugs for the addiction of talking about themselves non-stop. The only difference is that you can't tell one of these people to kindly shut the Hell up, because that would be--GASP--not supportive.
4) The Psychology Majors. Not literally. But I'm talking about the ones who are constantly reading yet another self-help tome to make themselves happy. The irony of it all, of course, is that their own narcissism, the same impulse that makes them read countless self-help books, is what makes them unhappy, for they are continuously having the feed the beast of self-actualization. And when they talk to you, what they really want to do is talk about themselves.
5) The "Getting Back To Me" Crowd. These are the ones who live for themselves at all times. They don't understand simple etiquette and consideration for others. They don't return phone calls or e-mails. They are in it for themselves at all times and in every situation. Typically, they are pretty amoral, but excellent at rationalizing their self-centered actions through the elastic standards of psychobabble.
Wow, you're good at this! I need to people watch more.
cpg there is actually a book called emotional vampires it isn't something that you just invented or pioneered all on your own....please let's give credit where credit is due....have a nice day
cpg there is actually a book called emotional vampires it isn't something that you just invented or pioneered all on your own....please let's give credit where credit is due....have a nice day
Ummm...it's the title of thread, Arty. I just expanded on the premise of the OP, not a book of which I am blissfully unaware. And, unlike you, I don't squander my time watching Dr. Phil, let alone admit to watching Dr. Phil. Let's see....which number on my list fits you best?
lol why are you getting defensive? I was only informing you. I like you and your posts. You are really cool.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Ummm...it's the title of thread, Arty. I just expanded on the premise of the OP. And, unlike you, I don't squander my time watching Dr. Phil, let alone admit to watching Dr. Phil. Let's see....which number on my list fits you best?
I know these people. Actually, they are really several different subspecies:
1) The hardluck cases. You see these people on the message boards a lot. They are the ones who always are lurching from crisis to crisis, and from bad relationship to bad relationship. But, get this, IT'S NEVER THEIR FAULT. Every time you see a thread titled, "How Come All Men [Or Women] Are Cheaters/Non-Committal?" you know the OP is one of these people, because she/he doesn't have the necessary emotional rigor to analyze why they keep getting into these stupid scrapes/relationships in the first place. If they're in your real life, they always are coming to you because they want your advice. But they really never take it. And if you're the one having problems, just try and get one of them to return your phone calls, for they would be just too bummed by your problems to get involved.
2) The Indignation Brigade. Yep, you know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who disapprove of everybody and everything they say. The fractious types who are ready to seize on even the most innocent remark, deconstructing it so much that even Derrida would scream, "Give it a rest, already!" Their criticisms are typically petty, smug, and generally have to do with some social cause that they've read in a book but didn't have the energy to really understand. They stand vigilant to critique everybody else's lives, and are relentless unforgiving of weaknesses in others. They are typically exhausting to be around, and usually have iffy hygienic practices. The problem with the Indignation Brigade is that you can't let your guard around for a moment, lest the harpy tries to scratch your eyes out over some petty offense.
5) The "Getting Back To Me" Crowd. These are the ones who live for themselves at all times. They don't understand simple etiquette and consideration for others. They don't return phone calls or e-mails. They are in it for themselves at all times and in every situation. Typically, they are pretty amoral, but excellent at rationalizing their self-centered actions through the elastic standards of psychobabble. These people can usually be identified by long and belabored explanations for past actions which, when boiled down to essentials, are pretty horrible. Yet, they've managed to prettify things with elaborate justifications. Run from these people as fast as you can, for you are their next victims.
Wow I'm into the Dracula of them. She gets me into her apartment starts complaining about people. You mention a name, she likes that person and I should be more caring of them. However a week later that person might be on her s-list.
She keeps you tense basically afraid to say anything for her retort on the subject. Doesn't return phone calls, breaks dates to the point i'm EXPECTING it and don't really make plans, even if it was her idea.
But I'm 3 months clean from her and have given friends permission to deprogram me at any sign of a relapse. LOL
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