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We just put down our 12 year old Chesapeake Thursday afternoon. And yes, we're feeling pretty destroyed around here, too. We did so much together that there's hardly anywhere, except maybe the store or office, that doesn't trigger strong memories, and hence tears. She had pneumonia, and maybe cancer, too. She was on 02 at the vet hospital for 3 days and was panting miserably. We made the decision almost immediately on our last visit. It was merciful. May we be so lucky to be sent of with such dignity. We probably won't be.
So Movin', we share your pain and know what you're going thru right now, too. It'll get better. Fond memories will outweigh the grief in time. Our dogs thank us both for such a noble thing we did for them-ending their suffering.
Making the decision to let our companion animals move on from this life with us is so painful and hard because we love them so much. They bring us so much joy and companionship that the thought of them not being there tomorrow can be heart-rending.
The decision to let them go is agonizing and we second guess ourselves but ultimately, we have to do what is in their best interest, not ours. Your dog's time with you was over and you made the ultimate, loving sacrifice to gently let him go with the peace and love that you gave to him for many years. Your heart may be breaking over the loss of your best friend but he'll always be with you in your heart.
The Dr. told me his condition was very grave and very serious and he may not last through the night. So I made arrangements to put him to sleep the following day at 11:30. You cannot imagine how tough that morning was, feeding him cheese while his tail wagged.
I don't feel his spirit here. I had him put to sleep at home. It really wasn't peaceful. Now I am thinking I betrayed him, in spite of the fact I took him to three Vets in 24 hours and got a grim prognosis. He was feeling very bad. His platelet levels halved overnight. There wasn't the right kind of blood for a transfusion or several, and I'd already put him through three surgeries in March/April and he spent three weeks in the hospital. Perhaps I was too hasty. Perhaps I should have let him live longer. He was a fighter and yet I made the call to put the shot into his vein to stop his heart. At any rate, the pain is getting worse, not better.
You did the right thing. Stop punishing yourself over it. It will take some time to realize it.....I am sorry....Carrie
I think both our dogs may have had a similar condition after I read your description. I put a post out there myself. My Princess showed no prior signs of anything wrong. Only that night did I learn that she had a mass in her abdomen that had burst, and that she was full of blood. Same thing as your dog in that her platelets were very low. They told me she had a very low chance, less than 10% of surviving the surgery, due to some condition they called DIC, and that if she did survive she'd be gone within a few months. She was a spry, happy, vibrant dog, and the thought of her suffering made me make a fast decision. I felt pressured to make the decision and just like you, I feel guilty. I think I should've let her have the surgery. Or done nothing but take her home to die. No matter what the scenario, would she have made it? No, not according to two other vets I spoke with afterward. You are far braver than I to stay with your dog till the end. I could not do it. I think I am too weak. We could not do any more than we did though.
When my kitty became gravely and suddenly ill, I was also faced with the prospect of having to make this terrible decision...but I couldn't do it. I tried everything, syringe-feeding, trips to the vet. for shots every day, lots of meds that made him feel worse...I wish now I had just let him go when they told me how sick he was. (Unfortunately, they had told me he had a 50/50 chance of recovery, so I felt obligated to go to heroic lengths to save his life), but in the end he died in the emergency center, just collapsed when they took him off the oxygen so I could move him to his regular vet. clinic (no 24 hour animal hospitals anywhere near me, so there was no other choice). I'm thankful the pain only lasted a week, but I just wish I could have had him at home in my arms when it happened...I will regret the meds and syringes for the rest of my life, even though I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. You definitely made the right choice...you were selfless and noble. It only takes one time going through what I went through to realize how emotionally draining and horrible it is to try to make them hang on...be at peace and God bless.
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