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It has been one year come Sunday/Monday 2am, that I lost my little soul-mate Nugget at the young age of 5. It has been a difficult year, and I lost my Mom October 29. But as she had suffered with Alzheimers, for her and us it was a sort of mixed blessing. Yet, I missed Nugget being there to make me smile again as she did when I lost my Dad 2 years earlier. I still have her pictures locked away, I cannot look at them yet. The night spent at the emergency vet out of town is still so vivid in my mind, and comes back to haunt me at night. I am still bitter and angry. I hide it from everyone, as no one would understand my grief lasting this long. I don't either, but it has, and I miss her so much. I don't cry as often, but I still cry. My husband knows better than to remind me of her, as I will just walk away. I hope some day I will be able to remember the good times, but I'm afraid that is far away still. I try to give comfort to others, hoping they will find healing from this pain.
So, Nuggey baby, Mom misses you more than words can say. You will always be my treasure. Wait for me at the Bridge, my little love. You can play with Lucky, the two Missys, Tattoo, Chichi, and Roxie. Someday, I will scoop you up in my arms and have you lick me silly once again.
I Want to Learn More About Nugget and What Was so Unique about Him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3chidogs
It has been one year come Sunday/Monday 2am, that I lost my little soul-mate Nugget at the young age of 5. It has been a difficult year, and I lost my Mom October 29. But as she had suffered with Alzheimers, for her and us it was a sort of mixed blessing. Yet, I missed Nugget being there to make me smile again as she did when I lost my Dad 2 years earlier. I still have her pictures locked away, I cannot look at them yet. The night spent at the emergency vet out of town is still so vivid in my mind, and comes back to haunt me at night. I am still bitter and angry. I hide it from everyone, as no one would understand my grief lasting this long. I don't either, but it has, and I miss her so much. I don't cry as often, but I still cry. My husband knows better than to remind me of her, as I will just walk away. I hope some day I will be able to remember the good times, but I'm afraid that is far away still. I try to give comfort to others, hoping they will find healing from this pain.
So, Nuggey baby, Mom misses you more than words can say. You will always be my treasure. Wait for me at the Bridge, my little love. You can play with Lucky, the two Missys, Tattoo, Chichi, and Roxie. Someday, I will scoop you up in my arms and have you lick me silly once again.
3 chidogs,
I'm so sorry you just lost your mother. I wish I'd known sooner just so I could be available for you. No one will know what you gave to your mother and what got depleted in you. I offer you my sincere empathy.
Sometimes when people have to deal with tragedy after tragedy, not because they want to, rather they have no choice, because real life events just keep happening to different people, we stuff our own grief to take care of the next semi-urgent situation. From an outsider's POV, it seems you've had a lot to handle in a rather short.
I have no problem understanding why you have a more complex response to the loss of Nugget. When you try to give comfort to others here, part of you is giving it to yourself, IMHO. I hope me sharing that thought doesn't upset you. If it does, I apologize as I don't mean it that way.
At times it seems like no one else can possibly offer any comforting words or lend their support in the right way. I'm stumbling my way through this too.
I just want you to know that I care about you and appreciate so much the support you've given me. I'm here if you want to talk. Sometimes it's so complex losing too many loved ones within a short period of time, or losing too many dreams, hopes and other things we thought would always be. Just take it one step at a time.
Your grief will come out in one form or another. I hope that you can tel; us more about Nugget, if you are up to it. I don't know the timing of your mother's Alzehiemer's DX, but wonder if you had any time to grieve about Nugget before being thrust into another major care-giving role?
I apologize in advance if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intent. I wish for you to gain even one step of healing in your journey.
Thank you for the note! I think I blew it here and need you to clarify. Nugget was a female or male?
As chaseystarz wrote, we are all here for you. Like I've written to others, tears are just emotions being shared with others. Sometimes you don't have to say much just tell people what you are doing or dealing with the day.
Tears do help heal.
I'll get back to you with a PM a little later. Know I'm thinking of you...
I posted this in another thread, but feel it is so appropriate for you:
Tribute To A Best Friend
Sunlight streams through window pane
unto a spot on the floor....
then I remember,
it's where you used to lie,
but now you are no more.
Our feet walk down a hall of carpet,
and muted echoes sound....
then I remember,
It's where your paws would joyously abound.
A voice is heard along the road,
and up beyond the hill,
then I remember it can't be yours....
your golden voice is still.
But I'll take that vacant spot of floor
and empty muted hall
and lay them with the absent voice
and unused dish along the wall.
I'll wrap these treasured memorials
in a blanket of my love
and keep them for my best friend
until we meet above.
Thank you all. I appreciate your words very much. And Thursday, I have saved that touching message. It is truly beautiful.
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I Want to Learn More About Nugget and What Was so Unique about Him.
I'm here if you want to talk. Sometimes it's so complex losing too many loved ones within a short period of time, or losing too many dreams, hopes and other things we thought would always be. Just take it one step at a time.
