It can definitely be harder to make friends outside of work or school. Moved down here 6 years ago for work and liked all of my colleagues (many around my own age) but I lived in Raleigh and they lived in Durham so it was much harder to hang out enough to become good friends. We were fortunate to find some people we knew from a prior stage of life and started hanging out with them but we also met some really close friends very randomly. We went to a dinner at The Piedmont Restaurant in Durham that was geared towards foodies and bloggers and discovered we had a lot in common with that couple and have become very good friends over the years, much of the bonding occurring over food. And it helped that we were all flexible in meeting up in Durham and Raleigh. Got invited to join a book club through them and met some other people. Then met a whole different set of people after having a kid through some mommy and baby exercise classes.
You mentioned in a prior post that you really liked food so that might be a way to make a connection. Keep an eye on the Mouthful blog, which is one of the best ways to keep up on all the food and drink related happenings in the area. There are typically lots of wine dinners at different restaurants and there is a big Brewgaloo in downtown Raleigh this upcoming weekend. Go to something you are interested in and be open and friendly to others and I think you'll find people to be quite open and friendly if you are.
As a tangential note to some of your other posts, I'm a little surprised no one has mentioned the possibility of living in Durham. Perhaps because your husband will be working in Raleigh or you specifically mentioned Raleigh but Durham is the most "urban" part of the Triangle. Definitely has more gritty areas but I feel like people who live in Durham really love it and are passionate about it. It's food truck central for the Triangle (nothing compared to Denver but you can't have expected that), the local farmer's market is one of the best around (Raleigh State Farmer's Market is the largest but has the most "traditional" items like kale, collards, sweet potatoes, etc while Durham and Carrboro have many more organic and exotic options) and the restaurant scene is quite lauded (especially by the New York Times). Lots of farm to table type of things, artisan bakeries, great Mexican, etc. Areas around downtown like Trinity Park, Duke Park, Old West Durham are popular with younger couples and pretty family friendly. Friends live in Rockwood Park area and love it - walking distance to Nana's, Local Yogurt, The Q Shack, Foster's Market and Gugelhupf, etc. You may not be enamored of the schools in Durham (some great ones, some not so great ones) but if you are pretty young and schools may not be a factor for several more years so now would be a time to explore and be in somewhere like Durham. Just a thought.
Good luck with your research and move! If you hang out here long enough, people will know better when you are joking/sarcastic although those emoticons do help!