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I hope you don't think all southerners are disengenuous. I always heard "well bless you heart" in the kindest and sincerst of tones. Frankly, I can't wait to hear it again.
We will be moving to the area sometime this summer, early fall. On several occasions while visiting, people have asked us our religion (usually within ten minutes of talking to us for the first time). We are not church going people and i VERY quickly found out that that is one fast way to end any discussion. This strikes me as a very personal question, but it seems to be the norm here in NC. I can accept this but it seems that the locals are not so accepting of a non church goer. (not very church like behaviour to me) Any suggestions as to how I could gracefully reply to such an intrusive question? I am tired of being looked at like I have the plague and quite frankly, am getting quite angry about this. I just want to scream :"I did my time, 13 years of private Episcopal school with services everyday. You only go one day a week, seems like you need to catch up to me!"
Suggestions?
Tell them you belong to all churches in the world because you are open minded about different beliefs. After this comment I doubt they will push their religion after all you are "open minded".... I don't do the church thing either. If the discussion ends then smile and seek out non church goers ( there are more of us than you think).
My neighbor commented the other day that he noticed we leave every Sunday morning early, and was wondering if we were going to church. I told him that my husband and I once were Sunday School teachers, and very involved in church when our children were younger. Now, however, since our children are grown, we no longer want to be a part of a church body, but find our spiritual needs met with good food and good conversation over Sunday Breakfast. I thanked him for the kind invitation. I have told this to many people in the past few years, and they never bring it up again.
This is really odd to me. I have never encountered a question regarding my religion or lack thereof since movin' here in August. I'm agnostic and I really don't care too much for many organized religions. No one has ever asked me about it nor has anyone ever had anything negative to say about my choices. Actually, I haven't run accross too many people who go to church. Must just be where I'm at and who I'm talkin' to I guess. But no one from work mentions it. And no one my age that I have met goes to church (I'm 26 btw).
I went to a so called "Christian" school all my life, so I can quote the Bible with the rest of 'em. Just don't believe it is all. To each his own. I don't make a public spectacle of myself mind you. I respect the choices of others. It has just never posed a problem for us here. I thought it might, but has not.
Regarding the sayin' "well bless your heart", even as a non- believer I can't find any offense in it. It's simply just a southern expression. And well, people gotta deal with their own issues, I figure why care what other people think of me. I don't live for them. Perhaps my heart needs some blessin' anyway.
I've found many locals here though that don't bother with the whole church scene. You just gotta go out and meet some folk.
I never had that happen to me in NC. But I would reply with "ask me my age while your at it" and just laugh it off. Don't dignify ignorance with an answer.
I never had that happen to me in NC. But I would reply with "ask me my age while your at it" and just laugh it off. Don't dignify ignorance with an answer.
The United States is a big country and there are going to be cultural differences. In some areas it isn't considered impolite to discuss religion. I personally feel uncomfortable when people tiptoe around politics and religion, because openness is one of the personality characteristics I most value.
I enjoy learning about others' points of view and I always enjoy a good discussion should the other person be interested in such a thing. And I never mind sharing my age. I'm 30 now, but know that whether I'm 44 or 58 or 67 it won't be a big deal to me for people to know how old I am. I've never understood why the age question was considered impolite?
The United States is a big country and there are going to be cultural differences. In some areas it isn't considered impolite to discuss religion. I personally feel uncomfortable when people tiptoe around politics and religion, because openness is one of the personality characteristics I most value.
I enjoy learning about others' points of view and I always enjoy a good discussion should the other person be interested in such a thing. And I never mind sharing my age. I'm 30 now, but know that whether I'm 44 or 58 or 67 it won't be a big deal to me for people to know how old I am. I've never understood why the age question was considered impolite?
I think job discrimination has a lot to do with age sharing. Some companies don't even want to interview anybody over 50 or even 45- at least that's I've heard. I think you'll understand why the age question is important when you're further along in the aging process. I still think it's possible for you to be discriminated against because of your religious preference.
The United States is a big country and there are going to be cultural differences. In some areas it isn't considered impolite to discuss religion. I personally feel uncomfortable when people tiptoe around politics and religion, because openness is one of the personality characteristics I most value.
I enjoy learning about others' points of view and I always enjoy a good discussion should the other person be interested in such a thing. And I never mind sharing my age. I'm 30 now, but know that whether I'm 44 or 58 or 67 it won't be a big deal to me for people to know how old I am. I've never understood why the age question was considered impolite?
I don't think it is impolite to discuss religion I think it is impolite to force one's religion on another person. I'm not saying that has or has not happened here in this instance. I tell everyone that I have no religion or that I believe in all religions or that I simply do not support organized religion and that I'm spiritual in my own right. If anyone wants to discuss it further that would be wonderful as I consider myself fairly knowledgeable on a few religions, and I too love to learn more (more about culture, but religion is part of that). However, for someone to judge me or put me down because I don't follow the "norm" well that isn't too nice now is it. I have friends of all different sorts of religions and never once has it gotten in the way of our friendships. Some people just have trouble seeing past your religion or politics. I figure that is their loss because I'm a great person to have as a friend. I also don't mind sharing my age or even my weight. I'm 26, 200lb personal trainer. heheeh. I just figured people didn't like sharing their age because they felt old, and they don't share their weight because they feel fat or something. People should love themselves more.
I went to a party and the first thing that someone asked me after being introduced was "So. . . where do you go?"
I had to stop and think about it for a while because I wasn't sure what they meant. Where do I go? Go for what?
They clarified to say "Where do you worship?"
My response to people that nosy is "I'm a paranoid agnostic". When they look at me kinda funny I say "I question the existence of God, but I know that out there somewhere there's a higher power out to get me."
I've lived here my whole life and have run into this question occasionally. I usually just tell them the truth: we don't. Luckily my current neighborhood is filled with other non church goers. We usually have a good ol' time at Saturday night neighborhood cookouts! :-)
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(not very church like behaviour to me) Any suggestions as to how I could gracefully reply to such an intrusive question? I am tired of being looked at like I have the plague and quite frankly, am getting quite angry about this.
I just want to scream :"I did my time, 13 years of private Episcopal school with services everyday. You only go one day a week, seems like you need to catch up to me!"
I also don't mind sharing my age or even my weight. I'm 26, 200lb personal trainer. heheeh. I just figured people didn't like sharing their age because they felt old, and they don't share their weight because they feel fat or something. People should love themselves more.
