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Lived here 16 years with my sweet Southern husband.
I'm not sure what "Southern culture" is. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what it is.
Don't talk to me about manners. I was taught good manners, and I taught my children.
We eat mostly Asian food.
I know my family history all the way back to about 1762. But really, who cares? Everyone came from somewhere.
I drink green tea, not sweet tea.
I am soft spoken. I'm not a loud person. Is that Southern? I don't think so; I've always been that way.
I've read on city-data, from a Southerner, that it is Southern to stop for funeral processions. Nope. We did that in the North.
I am friendly. I talk to people that I meet casually: in stores, restaurants, wherever. It was just as easy to strike up conversations in Rochester, NY, as it is here. So is that Southern? I don't think so. To me, it's just normal.
In the paper, I read that a Southerner thinks mothers wearing corsages on Mother's Day is a Southern thing. Nope. We did that in the North.
I remember Oprah, years ago, saying it was a Southern tradition to put paprika on potato salad. People came out of the woodwork to tell her NOOO! Everybody puts paprika on their potato salad.
Last year, I wanted to publish a Southern cookbook to use as a community fundraiser for our neighborhood. I designed a gorgeous cover. But I had to drop the project because I couldn't get enough Southern recipes from the neighbors.
Many neighbors have been here for a long time, but the majority of them are not Southern. Not enough Southerners to provide me with Southern recipes.
It all makes me wonder what "Southern" is, now, in 2009, in the Triangle.
I haven't had an answer to that yet.
So it's hard to "learn the ways of the South" for newcomers, I think, in the Triangle. Of course, NJ/NYC culture is different from Triangle culture. I think it's more of an "overpopulated" versus "not-as-populated" issue as discussed elsewhere.
I don't think that most Northerners think Southerners are backwards.
Because Northerners think of the entire country as "theirs" (as one country and not so much North/South), they will never shut up and put up. They will always suggest better ways of doing things. That's why we've grown as a nation.
It's the American way.
Last edited by lovebrentwood; 07-08-2009 at 09:05 PM..
The part that is funny is the reason this area was rated high and considered an attractive area to live is because of the way it was before the waves of people came swarming to the area. It essentially had a quiet small town feel to to it. It will eventually reach a point where the tide will turn in a different direction.
(note paragragh break )
Obviously, progress happens and its a free country and I don't blame the people moving here trying to find employment - but it still saddens me to see the small town that my great grand parents moved to grow up so quickly. It has changed more in the last 5 years than at any point that I have seen.
The part that is funny is the reason this area was rated high and considered an attractive area to live is because of the way it was before the waves of people came swarming to the area. It essentially had a quiet small town feel to to it. It will eventually reach a point where the tide will turn in a different direction.
(note paragragh break )
Obviously, progress happens and its a free country and I don't blame the people moving here trying to find employment - but it still saddens me to see the small town that my great grand parents moved to grow up so quickly. It has changed more in the last 5 years than at any point that I have seen.
I'm pretty sure you could post this on every state forum within city-data and have people agree with you.
One typo (hint: the 'u' and 'i' keys are next to each other on a keyboard) just seems to be different then a complete disregard of common punctuation and lack of respect for the readers.
"Complete disregard of common punctuation and lack of respect for readers"? Are you serious?
The original post was perfectly grammatically correct (or rather, if there were any errors they were so minor that I didn't and most other readers wouldn't catch them). Nor does it convey any disrespect. It is, in fact, an extremely respectfully and politely-written note -- one that I'm guessing could have been a strongly-worded rant. But, of course, one of the hallmarks of Southern culture is the value placed on polite behavior, at least in public.
Furthermore, you would do well to remember that the convention of leaving a space between every sentence or few sentences is a relatively new trend in writing that is specific to the internet and especially to internet forums. It is something that one would simply never do in more formal writing, or in letters, or the like, so if the original poster is new to internet forums (or simply has only used some of those that still preserve traditional writing conventions), s/he would not have known that s/he was expected to keep paragraphs kindergarten-short. (And yes, I realize that my own paragraphs in this reply are running on a bit by current standards.)
Finally, your first response raised my own NC-born-and-bred hackles when you misread the OP's indignation at being thought of as 'backasswards' as saying that s/he felt backasswards. That particular misreading, I think, gets to the heart of what the OP was saying: perhaps because s/he posted under the title 'country southern redneck', you seemed ready to jump to conclusions and dismiss the real feelings expressed.
ETA: Oh, and "troll"? Seriously? Someone posts a general but sincere and politely-worded criticism, you post a snarky and dismissive response, and you call the OP a troll? What world do you live in?
And by the way, if we're being nit-picky: one generally has a disregard for, not of something.
If you choose to move here, then I honestly wish the best for you. I hope you find it everything you hoped it would be. Making a move and being happy about it is often an attitude thing. If you think you may not like it or that those of us in the south are something less than you, then that is how you will see things. As a southerner, I have no problem with you moving here. All I ask is that you try to assimilate more than try to change us. Some of the things you may bring to the area are positive, but one thing I cannot stand is an attitude that southerners are backasswards and need some straightening out. Please come here with an open mind and happy thoughts. Do your best to understand us and see how we do things. A suggestion or two is fine, but don't look down upon us thinking you know better. You don't. Part of making a new area work is to assimilate to some degree. Bring your culture, but also be accepting of others. Allow yourself to learn the ways of the south and find out why it is so great here. The more open minded you are to others, the more chance you will be happy. Things will be different for you, but that does not mean it is a bad thing. The results of anything are a matter of what you put into it.
May I make a suggestion? Please don't assume that all us Yankees think of all Southeners as some sort of collective.
I was commenting to my fiancee recently about my parents moving from Niagara Falls to a very small town in Virginia, on a peninsula that most people think is part of Maryland, in 1981. For many years, people would comment on the fact that we were "damn Yankees" and would attempt to enter into some type of conversation that always alluded to the Civil War. (The parents' kids never seemed to mind as many of us were great friends all through school). What most people seemed to care about was not the similarities between a family from the North and the families from the South, but the differences.
My fiancee and I have been starting to find Southern recipes to use as inspiration for our upcoming wedding reception. What has fascinated us both are the different sub-cultures within the Southern culture. For example, we will need to arrange for two types of BBQ to be served as our friends from Eastern North Carolina will not care for the BBQ that our friends from Western North Carolina eat, and vice versa. Personally, I can only have Charleston she-crab soup.
Every Southern state, and even different towns in the same state, have different recipes for potato salad, fried chicken, and iceD tea. Yet it is those recipes that make those states and towns have its own identity and it would be wrong for us to assume that since they were "the South" they wouldn't really care.
I apologize for my rambling and improper grammar, it is early and the coffee hasn't set in. I would just hope that you would direct your frustrations directly towards the Yankees that have insulted you instead of thinking of us Yanks as a collective and referring to us simply as "you." I promise we are not all like that, as I have found that respect for the differences of people is based much more on upbringing than geography.
Obviously, progress happens and its a free country and I don't blame the people moving here trying to find employment - but it still saddens me to see the small town that my great grand parents moved to grow up so quickly. It has changed more in the last 5 years than at any point that I have seen.
Good thing you weren't at Ellis Island. Maybe your ancestors came over on the Mayflower.
I was amused at reading the original post. During my first week in town all I heard about was 'another damn Yankee'. I still had the New York plates on my truck so the locals knew even without asking.
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