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I want to point out a very important fact about buying a home, especially when trying to provide for your wife, and children, it is important to find a wonderful home, in a great neighborhood, near to good schools, away from traffic, crime and noise, surrounded by good people who may have children the same ages as your own, in your price range, and available at the same time you need to buy a home. Yes, from a fathers perspective, this is a very emotional decision to make and it takes a lot of time, energy, and looking to find a home for your family that fits all your wants and needs and assure that your family will be happy and secure. The idea that we should just buy another, disregards all those factors that made this house, not just a house, but a home for a family for the next couple decades. Realtors on the other hand do not have any emotions wrapped up in this purchase, but rather have their commissions at stake. So, please do not disregard this purchase as just a dollar amount or just an object we are buying like a car, as that is the furthest from the truth.
So, lets put things in perspective:
1) We offer full price with ALL the terms, closing date, etc. exactly how the listing agent initially requests.
2) He and/or the seller respond with a counter offer requiring us only to pay more than everyone else AND to waive the appraisal contingency. So, they have AGREED to sell us the house under these new terms, and that is in writing in their counter offer.
3) The listing agent/seller indicates that if we do not accept to buy the home under their new terms for us they will just go out and sell the home to someone else under their original terms.
Is that discrimation? Telling one party they are more than happy to sell the home to them but they have to pay a higher price and waiving contingencies when no one else has to. This is what we are talking about.
Now, if you do not think that is discrimination, what do you think would happen in every courtroom in america if after what I just said, I also let you know that we were a gay couple, or african american, or muslim. And the listing agent/seller offered to sell the home to us but we had to pay a premium above and beyond everyone else. This is what we are talking about.
...Is that discrimation? Telling one party they are more than happy to sell the home to them but they have to pay a higher price and waiving contingencies when no one else has to. This is what we are talking about.
Now, if you do not think that is discrimination, what do you think would happen in every courtroom in america if after what I just said, I also let you know that we were a gay couple, or african american, or muslim. And the listing agent/seller offered to sell the home to us but we had to pay a premium above and beyond everyone else. This is what we are talking about.
It's not discrimination unless it falls under the Fair Housing Act definition of discrimination:
Title VIII of the Civil Rights Act of 1968 (Fair Housing Act), as amended, prohibits discrimination in the sale, rental, and financing of dwellings, and in other housing-related transactions, based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, familial status (including children under the age of 18 living with parents or legal custodians, pregnant women, and people securing custody of children under the age of 18), and handicap (disability).
If you belong to one of the protected classes and could prove that the seller is asking for more because of your status as defined by the Act, then you may have a case.
Otherwise, the seller is not breaking any laws, and can negotiate whatever deal they want with each prospective buyer.
If you think otherwise, then consult with a lawyer.
I want to point out a very important fact about buying a home, especially when trying to provide for your wife, and children, it is important to find a wonderful home, in a great neighborhood, near to good schools, away from traffic, crime and noise, surrounded by good people who may have children the same ages as your own, in your price range, and available at the same time you need to buy a home. Yes, from a fathers perspective, this is a very emotional decision to make and it takes a lot of time, energy, and looking to find a home for your family that fits all your wants and needs and assure that your family will be happy and secure. The idea that we should just buy another, disregards all those factors that made this house, not just a house, but a home for a family for the next couple decades. Realtors on the other hand do not have any emotions wrapped up in this purchase, but rather have their commissions at stake. So, please do not disregard this purchase as just a dollar amount or just an object we are buying like a car, as that is the furthest from the truth.
So, lets put things in perspective:
1) We offer full price with ALL the terms, closing date, etc. exactly how the listing agent initially requests.
2) He and/or the seller respond with a counter offer requiring us only to pay more than everyone else AND to waive the appraisal contingency. So, they have AGREED to sell us the house under these new terms, and that is in writing in their counter offer.
3) The listing agent/seller indicates that if we do not accept to buy the home under their new terms for us they will just go out and sell the home to someone else under their original terms.
Is that discrimation? Telling one party they are more than happy to sell the home to them but they have to pay a higher price and waiving contingencies when no one else has to. This is what we are talking about.
Now, if you do not think that is discrimination, what do you think would happen in every courtroom in america if after what I just said, I also let you know that we were a gay couple, or african american, or muslim. And the listing agent/seller offered to sell the home to us but we had to pay a premium above and beyond everyone else. This is what we are talking about.
What I bolded, underlined and made blue is your biggest problem. You are making decisions based on emotion. Take that out of the equation and you may see more clearly.
And now you are adding what if's. "What if I was Gay, AA., Muslim?" you are not though, you just don't like the terms they gave you.
Nope, not a violation of the FHA -- as stated -- you have to prove you are a member of a protected class AND that the membership in that class is the reason they are asking more from you. Discriminatory animus is extremely hard to prove, and it doesn't sound like you even meet the first part of the test anyway (member of a protected class).
Let it go. It will be much better for you and your family to just let it go. Spend your energy on finding another place. I wish you luck -- I'm sure the next place will be much better and that this is happening for a reason.
As someone that's looking to buy, why on earth do people get involved in all this drama? If you like the place, put in an offer, if it's not accepted, or countered with a higher price than listing and then conditions are added, agents are not responsive, your gut tells you that you're being played, whatever, then walk away.
Ignoring all the drama, you're in a situation where you offered more in the past for house than you're offering currently. Of course an agent is going to try to get you make that higher offer again since he knows you can - heck, maybe you'll even offer more than that if he keeps pushing. He's using all sorts of stuff to keep you off guard and distract you from the obvious, and it is working.
Here's how you fix this - remove yourself from all of the drama and send back your original offer. Heck, take the same percentage off your original offer as he added to the counter. Whatever it takes to let him know that you're not falling for the nonsense.
If it were me, though, I'd walk. If the seller & agent are this bad before you have a contract signed, imagine how hard it's going to be to get to closing. Go look at other listings for a few months. Maybe after the house sits unsold for a while longer the seller will be more reasonable.
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So, please do not disregard this purchase as just a dollar amount or just an object we are buying like a car, as that is the furthest from the truth.
No, that's exactly what it is. Don't let your ego get you in a situation where you have to "win" this, whatever that means. The agent has you figured out - that you'll do crazy things to "win" in a situation where the the agent has absolute control over the rules. Don't give them that sort of control over your life. You "win" by getting the house at the price you want, or leaving the seller stuck with the house and the agent with no commission when you find an even better house. Leave all of the nonsense revenge fantasies out of it and focus on buying a house.
Don't let your ego get you in a situation where you have to "win" this, whatever that means. The agent has you figured out - that you'll do crazy things to "win" in a situation where the the agent has absolute control over the rules. Don't give them that sort of control over your life. You "win" by getting the house at the price you want, or leaving the seller stuck with the house and the agent with no commission when you find an even better house. Leave all of the nonsense revenge fantasies out of it and focus on buying a house.
Absolutely perfectly stated. I hope the OP will read this and understand what everyone else has been TRYING to say.
Put the ego aside, make a FINAL offer and stick to it. Then walk if you have to. And forget everything else. You can't MAKE someone sell you a house.
Yes, from a fathers perspective, this is a very emotional decision to make and it takes a lot of time, energy, and looking to find a home for your family that fits all your wants and needs and assure that your family will be happy and secure. The idea that we should just buy another, disregards all those factors that made this house, not just a house, but a home for a family for the next couple decades.
A house is just a building. HOME is where you make it. HOME is not specific to one single building. Make your home somewhere else.
3) The listing agent/seller indicates that if we do not accept to buy the home under their new terms for us they will just go out and sell the home to someone else under their original terms.
I would think that the seller would be crazy to get in a contract with a buyer that files complaints, talks about rules violations, fair housing laws being broken, during negotiations. We are getting one side of the story here (buyer doesn't even come off good IMHO) and most posts are giving the OP good advise, and they still just dismiss it.
Its not discrimination to negotiate different terms with different parties.
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