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I've obviously been struggling with this one for a long time. I have lived in apartments for over 18 years (my childhood home was foreclosed on and my family was evicted) and its been a huge dream ever since to buy my own home one day (maybe next year!!!) But the economy killed my career and I have not been able to buy a house yet.
Consequently, I can't help but feel less successful and less wealthy than my homeowner friends and colleagues. Owning your own home seems to be this huge status symbol. But isn't it a symbol of success?
Am I crazy or justified in feeling this way? Are renter's generlaly viewed as being poorer or lower class?
I've obviously been struggling with this one for a long time. I have lived in apartments for over 18 years (my childhood home was foreclosed on and my family was evicted) and its been a huge dream ever since to buy my own home one day (maybe next year!!!) But the economy killed my career and I have not been able to buy a house yet.
Consequently, I can't help but feel less successful and less wealthy than my homeowner friends and colleagues. Owning your own home seems to be this huge status symbol. But isn't it a symbol of success?
Am I crazy or justified in feeling this way? Are renter's generlaly viewed as being poorer or lower class?
Relax.
You are working way too hard.
If you want to own for YOU, find a way to do it.
Don't take on the obligation of ownership just to impress people.
If you really are more comfortable renting, then rent.
It's certainly not a black mark on your reputation.
Other things matter a LOT more, IMO.
How you handle your money largely determines your true wealth.
Housing costs and investment are only a part of the picture. If you are disciplined, you can build a nice financial profile with either housing choice.
I own, because I feel ownership need, want a deed and a paid off mortgage, and lower housing cost to live as I care to in retirement. That is all about ME, not really applicable to YOU unless it fits.
In this market, many are probably more jealous of you! I personally don't look down on anyone based on their living situation. There are some cities where it is nearly impossible to have a house so although it is an investment that my husband and I decided to make, it doesn't mean that we are any more successful than someone in an apartment. I am jealous of the fact that if you have an apartment you can pretty much move whenever you want to. Due to the real estate market, that has become quite difficult for many homeowners. There is something to be said about having that freedom without depending on your house to sell!
You are lucky in your situation and will buy a house when you are ready for it. Don't feel bad about that!
I don't have the point of view at all that renters are less successful than homeowners. It is a personal lifestyle choice. I wish I could be comfortable renting v. owning because it makes a lot of sense in certain circumstances.
Miss C.....there are a LOT of 'it depends' in there.
Do you live in a metro area...like NYC? Lots of very successful people rent.
Are you 'handy' or at least not brain dead about taking care of a house? A house is a living/breathing 'thing' that requires constant attention. Maybe that is not for you. Don't feel bad...it is nice to be honest that it isn't your cup of tea.
Buying a home, especially today, is a HUGE financial comittment in a VERY uncertain world. Good on you not to have been swept up in the craze over the last 18 years. If you had, it is likely that you would be well under water; perhaps have an outrageous mortgage; and be facing situations which are a LOT worse than where you are now. Better to be on the outside looking in, than on the inside looking out--and unable to get out!
Maybe there is a comfort factor associated with not having the responsibility of home ownership. I don't mean to suggest that you are 'avoiding' it, but rather have wisely chosen not to do it. No reason to feel bad.
And if you are looking now....well...you may not be 'picking the bottom', but you are in a lot closer than people who bought five years ago. The requirements being more strict will helkp to make your choice and decision more disciplined. You'll make a better deal, and when the market turns around and the millions of renters who are hiding now will come screaming to buy scarce homes. You'll be in the drivers seat.
Finally, take a look at the folks that you perhaps envy because of their home ownership. Lots of them have HUGE mortgages; leased cars; even rented furniture. They really have NOTHING...and i don't think that is what you perhaps envy, is it? Beware of appearances...the grass is not always greener.
Is your heart happy? Then don't sweat the games which your head might be playing with you.
Relax.
If you want to own for YOU, find a way to do it.
Don't take on the obligation of ownership just to impress people.
Definitely not doing it to impress people but because I want a house sooo bad!
I want the space, the yard, the extra rooms, a laundry room, a garden, to have as many pets as I want, to raise a family in, to not have to walk into a building to access my home, to not have a family living over top of me. I just want what I used to have and I want my future children to have that to.
I just get the impression that when people learn that I live in an apartment, they feel kinda bad for me. And sometimes I feel kinda bad for me.
Miss C.....there are a LOT of 'it depends' in there.
Do you live in a metro area...like NYC? Lots of very successful people rent.
Nope. I live in Baltimore County where housing is much more reasonable.
Quote:
Are you 'handy' or at least not brain dead about taking care of a house? A house is a living/breathing 'thing' that requires constant attention. Maybe that is not for you. Don't feel bad...it is nice to be honest that it isn't your cup of tea.
My hubby is. And I"m willing to learn. I've always loved houses and home decor. Used to draw homes and blueprints as a kid and dream of setting up my own home and family. I was that little girl.
Quote:
And if you are looking now....well...you may not be 'picking the bottom', but you are in a lot closer than people who bought five years ago. The requirements being more strict will helkp to make your choice and decision more disciplined. You'll make a better deal, and when the market turns around and the millions of renters who are hiding now will come screaming to buy scarce homes. You'll be in the drivers seat.
Finally, take a look at the folks that you perhaps envy because of their home ownership. Lots of them have HUGE mortgages; leased cars; even rented furniture. They really have NOTHING...and i don't think that is what you perhaps envy, is it? Beware of appearances...the grass is not always greener.
And you are right about everything. I think the envy really does eat me up at times. I also thinking losing my childhood home and my parents never getting another one has fueled this "impossible dream" and made it seem even bigger than it is.
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Is your heart happy? Then don't sweat the games which your head might be playing with you.
No. I definitely still feel a strong need to do this and I'm sure its related to this loss. I want to feel better about it but its been nagging me forever.
I grew up in NYC, the renters capital, and I tell you, after 36 yrs away there are still some people in my old neighborhood who are still renting and even are renting the apt. their parents had!! I come from the renters mind and don't feel bad about it at all. The money I don't spend on owning I save and it turns out to be substantial.
A friend just told me that her entire plumbing in the home needs to be replaced. The yard and house is being torn apart and she said she is paying 20,000 to do this. She HAS to do this to live in her home. Her insurance, so she says pays nothing towards this. And her husband is out of work, she works 2 jobs.
I can't imagine going through this type of thing and worrying that at ANY time, this type of thing can happen.
I agree it sort of depends where you live. In my opinion, back east, in the land of high rises and high land costs, many successful people rent all their lives.
Back out west, where I am, in the land of low land costs and huge lots, there might be a bit of that stigma for apartment renters. But many people out here rent a home rather than an apartment. We have some tenants who are lifers, many of whom are more "successful" than I am, and I own my home.
If you rent a run down apartment in the slums, then yes, you are going to have people feeling sorry for you when you say where you live. But that would be just as true if you lived in a run down house you owned in the slums.
Assuming you live in a place where you aren't afraid of being shot walking to your car, I'm guessing the pity you are feeling is all in your head.
Buy a house when you are financially and situationally ready, not before. Financially ready means that you have saved a down payment, closing costs and a sufficient emergency fund, and expect your income to continue in the future. Situationally ready means that you don't expect your situation to change in the near future, such as a move, expanding the family beyond what the house allows, or leaving a job.
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I personally don't look down on anyone based on their living situation. There are some cities where it is nearly impossible to have a house so although it is an investment that my husband and I decided to make, it doesn't mean that we are any more successful than someone in an apartment. I am jealous of the fact that if you have an apartment you can pretty much move whenever you want to. Due to the real estate market, that has become quite difficult for many homeowners. There is something to be said about having that freedom without depending on your house to sell! 
